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Pronouns? Do you visibly share yours?
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Anonymous
So…. We agree that it’s performative. All allyship is not performative. This is. I don’t like performative. I don’t do it. [Blue-blood liberal PP] |
Anonymous
| Nope |
Anonymous
While I partially agree with you, I do believe that it is important those people in same-sex relationships have the same ability to candidly refer to their partners (ex: her wife, his husband) in casual workplace conversations, the same as straight couples. I do not share my pronouns because I do not subscribe to gender theory as it is a male supremacist ideology. |
Anonymous
It's inherently about me. It's my email, my name, my identity, and my pronouns. As for allyship, that is a projection. It may or may not be meaningful or supportive. If you want to err on the side of it "may be supportive," that's totally fine. But it is absolutely your projection of what people may feel in your organization. |
Anonymous
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No.
My name is gender neutral. If someone calls me the wrong pronoun the first time it doesn't bother me. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]I'm surprised by the amount of folks who don't get that it's. not. about. you.
I'm a woman. I have a woman's name, I use she/her pronouns, I have never in my life had someone look at me and NOT know that I'm a woman, and pretty much everyone that I interact with professionally knows that I'm a woman. I don't put my pronouns in my email sig so that folks know what pronouns to use with ME. I put pronouns in my email sig so that the 20-something new hire who would like to be treated with respect and called by the pronouns that they prefer can see the example of a leader in the organization publicly displaying pronouns and feel like it's not weird if they do the same. I don't require ANYONE else to do it, but when you suggest that all allyship is performative, then you diminish folks who are doing any kind of allyship at all. I do rather suspect that is the point, and while there's a long way on the scale of "grumpy because I think "they" is inherently plural" to blowing up an electrical substation -- it's still the same scale. [/quote] The 20 something new hire has grown up to be an adult in pronoun world and knows they can use whatever pronouns they want. I don’t need to use work emails to set examples about private details of my life that I personally do not wish to define me at work. I don’t put disabilities or sexual orientation or mental health diagnoses in my email signatures either even though I want employees to be comfortable being who they are and asking for accommodations if needed. There are many ways to create an inclusive and welcoming work environment without needing to broadcast information about sex or gender or identity in every email. I want my emails to be communication about the work I am doing, not communication about my gender or gender identity or gender expression or sex. |
Anonymous
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Yes.
My pronouns are Your/Majesty. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm surprised by the amount of folks who don't get that it's. not. about. you.
I'm a woman. I have a woman's name, I use she/her pronouns, I have never in my life had someone look at me and NOT know that I'm a woman, and pretty much everyone that I interact with professionally knows that I'm a woman. I don't put my pronouns in my email sig so that folks know what pronouns to use with ME. I put pronouns in my email sig so that the 20-something new hire who would like to be treated with respect and called by the pronouns that they prefer can see the example of a leader in the organization publicly displaying pronouns and feel like it's not weird if they do the same. I don't require ANYONE else to do it, but when you suggest that all allyship is performative, then you diminish folks who are doing any kind of allyship at all. I do rather suspect that is the point, and while there's a long way on the scale of "grumpy because I think "they" is inherently plural" to blowing up an electrical substation -- it's still the same scale. [/quote] The 20 something new hire has grown up to be an adult in pronoun world and knows they can use whatever pronouns they want. I don’t need to use work emails to set examples about private details of my life that I personally do not wish to define me at work. I don’t put disabilities or sexual orientation or mental health diagnoses in my email signatures either even though I want employees to be comfortable being who they are and asking for accommodations if needed. There are many ways to create an inclusive and welcoming work environment without needing to broadcast information about sex or gender or identity in every email. I want my emails to be communication about the work I am doing, not communication about my gender or gender identity or gender expression or sex.[/quote] This. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]The 20 something new hire has grown up to be an adult in pronoun world and knows they can use whatever pronouns they want. I don’t need to use work emails to set examples about private details of my life that I personally do not wish to define me at work. I don’t put disabilities or sexual orientation or mental health diagnoses in my email signatures either even though I want employees to be comfortable being who they are and asking for accommodations if needed. There are many ways to create an inclusive and welcoming work environment without needing to broadcast information about sex or gender or identity in every email. I want my emails to be communication about the work I am doing, not communication about my gender or gender identity or gender expression or sex.[/quote]
^^This. Exactly. I seriously doubt the supposed 20-year-old gender-fluid new hire is insecure about being the only one to include their pronouns in their email. It’s not even necessary. They could just, you know, tell those around them if it’s a big deal. [Liberal PP] |
Anonymous
Good! |
Anonymous
Does it bother you if they do it a second or third time? If so, consider adding pronouns. If not, carry on. |
Anonymous
I'm surprised that you buy into this childish practice. There are several reasons why this is bad: First, women are still paid less on the dollar than men in the work world. Women have worked for the last 50 years to try and get some form of equality in the work world including equal pay. But while there are been advances (in the 1970's, women were getting paid 60-75% of what men were paid for the same jobs, now it's more like 75-90%). Using gender neutral names, or just initials, have helped women gain tangible improvements to equality and equal treatment in the work place. And you want to throw that away for the appearances of being supportive. Second, this trend is only a facade. You think it makes you appear more supportive, but that's all it is superficial. Truly being supportive is done by actions, not by a signature file. Asking someone their preferred pronouns and using them in person, in meetings where there are multiple people, and treating the person kindly despite them not looking like their preferred gender are actual examples of support. Helping someone when another co-worker is being unfair or not treating them with respect or according to their wishes is more supportive than adding a line to your .sig and then forgetting about the unique person in your organization that may be facing discrimination. Third, gender has no place in the workplace. This is following from the first point, but it is important. You want to remove gender and gender descriptors from the workplace. If you create an environment where there are reasons for treating people differently, then you are creating an unequal environment. You are saying that for a non-binary person that they have to be treated differently and that only others have the power to treat them with respect based on their wishes. Instead, just treat everyone neutrally and equally and that creates the equal world. Adding pronouns to ones .sig file, especially when you are binary and self-identifying as the gender that matches your appearance or name only highlights which individuals are different and tends to encourage treating folks differently, the exact opposite effect that you want in a work place. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm surprised by the amount of folks who don't get that it's. not. about. you.
I'm a woman. I have a woman's name, I use she/her pronouns, I have never in my life had someone look at me and NOT know that I'm a woman, and pretty much everyone that I interact with professionally knows that I'm a woman. I don't put my pronouns in my email sig so that folks know what pronouns to use with ME. I put pronouns in my email sig so that the 20-something new hire who would like to be treated with respect and called by the pronouns that they prefer can see the example of a leader in the organization publicly displaying pronouns and feel like it's not weird if they do the same. I don't require ANYONE else to do it, but when you suggest that all allyship is performative, then you diminish folks who are doing any kind of allyship at all. I do rather suspect that is the point, and while there's a long way on the scale of "grumpy because I think "they" is inherently plural" to blowing up an electrical substation -- it's still the same scale. [/quote] [b]The 20 something new hire has grown up to be an adult in pronoun world and knows they can use whatever pronouns they want.[/b] I don’t need to use work emails to set examples about private details of my life that I personally do not wish to define me at work. I don’t put disabilities or sexual orientation or mental health diagnoses in my email signatures either even though I want employees to be comfortable being who they are and asking for accommodations if needed. There are many ways to create an inclusive and welcoming work environment without needing to broadcast information about sex or gender or identity in every email. I want my emails to be communication about the work I am doing, not communication about my gender or gender identity or gender expression or sex.[/quote] I actually have a 20-something colleague who did feel very uncomfortable being the only one at our office who announced their pronouns, to the extent they haven't come out to 3/4ths of the team because they don't want to have to make a big deal out of it. I think this is unfortunate, and it would be much healthier thing for us to have a mix of signature styles with the option for pronouns and some leaders using them and some not. Personally, I don't care either way (and know people who are viscerally uncomfortable with both pronouns and no pronouns) so I would go with the option that creates the most diversity (e.g., no pronouns if more people have them; pronouns if less people have them). The assumption that all trans/nonbinary/ambiguously gendered young people are hyperconfident in announcing their gender to the world is a big (and inaccurate) assumption and perhaps you think that because none of the closeted folks around you have felt comfortable enough to let you know. |
Anonymous
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Chiming in to say i really love this earlier comment as it reflects my attitude and generational identity perfectly:
>>>>No, but I'm a Gen X person. It would seem disingenuous if I bought into this silliness. |
Anonymous
I'm the long PP above your comment. I am also Gen X and identify with this more succinct version, too. |