Ever have an ex live rent free in your head?

[Anonymous]

I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After six months of complaining about the loss to a therapist I started seeing specifically to get over an ex:

Therapist: But what was so great about [EX]?

Me: Lists everything.

(Looooooong pause)

Therapist: Yeah, you're not going to meet someone like that again. Just be happy with who you meet or be alone if you can't.

I mean, can they really be that great if they broke up with you? What caused the break up?

+2

They didn’t love you enough to want to be with you. They didn’t feel it as much as you did. Move on

Yes, I know they don't want to be with me. So I should settle for not as good since that's the best I can do?

We dated in our 40s and I've spent the last two years sleeping with college students because those relationships mean nothing.

Wait -- so this means you are in, or past, your 40s and you are having sex with college students? Either you're a college employee/professor/tutor, in which case, clearly scum for screwing students. Or you're a sugar daddy/mama paying for sex one way or another. Or you want us to believe that college students are happily hooking up with someone around 50 because you're so very hot or mind-blowing in bed that they'll happily have sex with you without $$ or favors or grades involved....As if college weren't rife with people their own age to hook up with.

Nah, just a successful, fun man who lives near a campus. College women are much cheaper dates than real dating. It's extremely easy for me. Can't explain it.

You didn't mention the age issue. You're at least 20 years, maybe 30 years, older, based on your first post about an ex you dated "in our 40s."

Sure, dating those college kids all about the fun. Believe it all you like. We know that "successful" is code for "I've got enough bucks to throw around so they date me for money/expensive gifts/other sort-of-sugar-daddy perks." Not for fun that's anything other than high-end. Or for your fabulous bedroom technique. But feel free to keep telling yourself that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After six months of complaining about the loss to a therapist I started seeing specifically to get over an ex:

Therapist: But what was so great about [EX]?

Me: Lists everything.

(Looooooong pause)

Therapist: Yeah, you're not going to meet someone like that again. Just be happy with who you meet or be alone if you can't.

I mean, can they really be that great if they broke up with you? What caused the break up?

+2

They didn’t love you enough to want to be with you. They didn’t feel it as much as you did. Move on

Yes, I know they don't want to be with me. So I should settle for not as good since that's the best I can do?

We dated in our 40s and I've spent the last two years sleeping with college students because those relationships mean nothing.

Wait -- so this means you are in, or past, your 40s and you are having sex with college students? Either you're a college employee/professor/tutor, in which case, clearly scum for screwing students. Or you're a sugar daddy/mama paying for sex one way or another. Or you want us to believe that college students are happily hooking up with someone around 50 because you're so very hot or mind-blowing in bed that they'll happily have sex with you without $$ or favors or grades involved....As if college weren't rife with people their own age to hook up with.

Nah, just a successful, fun man who lives near a campus. College women are much cheaper dates than real dating. It's extremely easy for me. Can't explain it.

You didn't mention the age issue. You're at least 20 years, maybe 30 years, older, based on your first post about an ex you dated "in our 40s."

Sure, dating those college kids all about the fun. Believe it all you like. We know that "successful" is code for "I've got enough bucks to throw around so they date me for money/expensive gifts/other sort-of-sugar-daddy perks." Not for fun that's anything other than high-end. Or for your fabulous bedroom technique. But feel free to keep telling yourself that!

I'm not that previous guy, but after being dumped by my age-appropriate gf I found myself dating a lot of women in their 20s, and as he said they cost less than 40s-50s age women do. My ex-gf needed to stay in $650/night resorts any time we travelled. None of the women I am dating have asked for any money, or gotten any gifts (other than skimpy lingerie). I do pay for dinners. The real expense will probably be child support, because of the risks we take...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After six months of complaining about the loss to a therapist I started seeing specifically to get over an ex:

Therapist: But what was so great about [EX]?

Me: Lists everything.

(Looooooong pause)

Therapist: Yeah, you're not going to meet someone like that again. Just be happy with who you meet or be alone if you can't.

I mean, can they really be that great if they broke up with you? What caused the break up?

+2

They didn’t love you enough to want to be with you. They didn’t feel it as much as you did. Move on

Yes, I know they don't want to be with me. So I should settle for not as good since that's the best I can do?

We dated in our 40s and I've spent the last two years sleeping with college students because those relationships mean nothing.

Wait -- so this means you are in, or past, your 40s and you are having sex with college students? Either you're a college employee/professor/tutor, in which case, clearly scum for screwing students. Or you're a sugar daddy/mama paying for sex one way or another. Or you want us to believe that college students are happily hooking up with someone around 50 because you're so very hot or mind-blowing in bed that they'll happily have sex with you without $$ or favors or grades involved....As if college weren't rife with people their own age to hook up with.

Nah, just a successful, fun man who lives near a campus. College women are much cheaper dates than real dating. It's extremely easy for me. Can't explain it.

You didn't mention the age issue. You're at least 20 years, maybe 30 years, older, based on your first post about an ex you dated "in our 40s."

Sure, dating those college kids all about the fun. Believe it all you like. We know that "successful" is code for "I've got enough bucks to throw around so they date me for money/expensive gifts/other sort-of-sugar-daddy perks." Not for fun that's anything other than high-end. Or for your fabulous bedroom technique. But feel free to keep telling yourself that!

I'm not that previous guy, but after being dumped by my age-appropriate gf I found myself dating a lot of women in their 20s, and as he said they cost less than 40s-50s age women do. My ex-gf needed to stay in $650/night resorts any time we travelled. None of the women I am dating have asked for any money, or gotten any gifts (other than skimpy lingerie). I do pay for dinners. The real expense will probably be child support, because of the risks we take...

I am mid 40s. I am nothing like the women you write about. I don't expect gifts and have never stayed in a resort that expensive. I don't even eat steak for dinner. I am an extremely cheap date. The women you were dating are losers.

[Anonymous]

I still dream of the mistreatment. Not him really, but the way he made me feel. It’s been 9 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After six months of complaining about the loss to a therapist I started seeing specifically to get over an ex:

Therapist: But what was so great about [EX]?

Me: Lists everything.

(Looooooong pause)

Therapist: Yeah, you're not going to meet someone like that again. Just be happy with who you meet or be alone if you can't.

I mean, can they really be that great if they broke up with you? What caused the break up?

+2

They didn’t love you enough to want to be with you. They didn’t feel it as much as you did. Move on

Yes, I know they don't want to be with me. So I should settle for not as good since that's the best I can do?

We dated in our 40s and I've spent the last two years sleeping with college students because those relationships mean nothing.

Wait -- so this means you are in, or past, your 40s and you are having sex with college students? Either you're a college employee/professor/tutor, in which case, clearly scum for screwing students. Or you're a sugar daddy/mama paying for sex one way or another. Or you want us to believe that college students are happily hooking up with someone around 50 because you're so very hot or mind-blowing in bed that they'll happily have sex with you without $$ or favors or grades involved....As if college weren't rife with people their own age to hook up with.

Nah, just a successful, fun man who lives near a campus. College women are much cheaper dates than real dating. It's extremely easy for me. Can't explain it.

You didn't mention the age issue. You're at least 20 years, maybe 30 years, older, based on your first post about an ex you dated "in our 40s."

Sure, dating those college kids all about the fun. Believe it all you like. We know that "successful" is code for "I've got enough bucks to throw around so they date me for money/expensive gifts/other sort-of-sugar-daddy perks." Not for fun that's anything other than high-end. Or for your fabulous bedroom technique. But feel free to keep telling yourself that!

I'm not that previous guy, but after being dumped by my age-appropriate gf I found myself dating a lot of women in their 20s, and as he said they cost less than 40s-50s age women do. My ex-gf needed to stay in $650/night resorts any time we travelled. None of the women I am dating have asked for any money, or gotten any gifts (other than skimpy lingerie). I do pay for dinners. The real expense will probably be child support, because of the risks we take...

I am mid 40s. I am nothing like the women you write about. I don't expect gifts and have never stayed in a resort that expensive. I don't even eat steak for dinner. I am an extremely cheap date. The women you were dating are losers.

Don't bother with trolls like the one who's coming here to claim he's some hot 50s daddy dating "cheap" college girls. It's some guy who gets his jollies getting into these threads and pretending to spice them up. The clues above are the "joke" about "the risks we take" and the reference to how young women will gladly have sex with a guy 20-30 years older just for a few dinners and the "skimpy lingerie" he gives them (and of course for his incredible sexual prowess!).

[Anonymous]

College gf, my first love...I'm 50 now, married 24 years and I don't think about her consciously (well except for right now, haha) but I dream about her sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

NP. Also had an ex who died and think about him much more than I should. He died violently and was an objectively awful person in ways I won't detail, but never awful to me. In fact, just the opposite, with me. It wasn't a romance or dating like people think about on this forum, but a clear arrangement that suited us. It created very intense attachment of its own kind and I have to work hard at not thinking about him, sometimes. We stopped seeing each other four months before he was killed, when I had to move away, but we were still in close contact. And we had started talking about resuming, long-distance, which is probably one reason he's living rent-free in my head; we were not fully "exes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

NP. Also had an ex who died and think about him much more than I should. He died violently and was an objectively awful person in ways I won't detail, but never awful to me. In fact, just the opposite, with me. It wasn't a romance or dating like people think about on this forum, but a clear arrangement that suited us. It created very intense attachment of its own kind and I have to work hard at not thinking about him, sometimes. We stopped seeing each other four months before he was killed, when I had to move away, but we were still in close contact. And we had started talking about resuming, long-distance, which is probably one reason he's living rent-free in my head; we were not fully "exes."

Sounds like he was married. How was he killed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

NP. Also had an ex who died and think about him much more than I should. He died violently and was an objectively awful person in ways I won't detail, but never awful to me. In fact, just the opposite, with me. It wasn't a romance or dating like people think about on this forum, but a clear arrangement that suited us. It created very intense attachment of its own kind and I have to work hard at not thinking about him, sometimes. We stopped seeing each other four months before he was killed, when I had to move away, but we were still in close contact. And we had started talking about resuming, long-distance, which is probably one reason he's living rent-free in my head; we were not fully "exes."

You didn't see it out long enough to experience his awfulness. He was truly awful, but in the love bombing stage with you. Not living or seeing you everyday let him use you and play a fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

NP. Also had an ex who died and think about him much more than I should. He died violently and was an objectively awful person in ways I won't detail, but never awful to me. In fact, just the opposite, with me. It wasn't a romance or dating like people think about on this forum, but a clear arrangement that suited us. It created very intense attachment of its own kind and I have to work hard at not thinking about him, sometimes. We stopped seeing each other four months before he was killed, when I had to move away, but we were still in close contact. And we had started talking about resuming, long-distance, which is probably one reason he's living rent-free in my head; we were not fully "exes."

Sounds like he was married. How was he killed?

By karma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

NP. Also had an ex who died and think about him much more than I should. He died violently and was an objectively awful person in ways I won't detail, but never awful to me. In fact, just the opposite, with me. It wasn't a romance or dating like people think about on this forum, but a clear arrangement that suited us. It created very intense attachment of its own kind and I have to work hard at not thinking about him, sometimes. We stopped seeing each other four months before he was killed, when I had to move away, but we were still in close contact. And we had started talking about resuming, long-distance, which is probably one reason he's living rent-free in my head; we were not fully "exes."

Sounds like he was married. How was he killed?

No, he was not married. Neither was I. He was shot. He had a legit business but side interests that were illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an ex who I have sex dreams about randomly. He passed away a few years ago and we werent in touch at that time. We werent even serious. I do not think of him outside of these dreams. I dont dream about any other exes and I dont really think about other exes besides fleeting thoughts of thank god I left/got away/didnt stay. It is in line with his prior existence that he would make appearances in that manner and only in that manner so I take it as a sweet gesture from a horny ghost.

NP. Also had an ex who died and think about him much more than I should. He died violently and was an objectively awful person in ways I won't detail, but never awful to me. In fact, just the opposite, with me. It wasn't a romance or dating like people think about on this forum, but a clear arrangement that suited us. It created very intense attachment of its own kind and I have to work hard at not thinking about him, sometimes. We stopped seeing each other four months before he was killed, when I had to move away, but we were still in close contact. And we had started talking about resuming, long-distance, which is probably one reason he's living rent-free in my head; we were not fully "exes."

You didn't see it out long enough to experience his awfulness. He was truly awful, but in the love bombing stage with you. Not living or seeing you everyday let him use you and play a fantasy.

I absolutely see that that would be the diagnosis, if we were in a normal "relationship" or an affair, but there was never a question of a love bombing stage or any other stages of a usual relationship, good or bad. You're right, in a relationship that's how my post would present. And love bombing is a real thing in many relationships. You're also right that we were playing a fantasy but using each other was mutual and we both were frank about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After six months of complaining about the loss to a therapist I started seeing specifically to get over an ex:

Therapist: But what was so great about [EX]?

Me: Lists everything.

(Looooooong pause)

Therapist: Yeah, you're not going to meet someone like that again. Just be happy with who you meet or be alone if you can't.

I mean, can they really be that great if they broke up with you? What caused the break up?

+2

They didn’t love you enough to want to be with you. They didn’t feel it as much as you did. Move on

Yes, I know they don't want to be with me. So I should settle for not as good since that's the best I can do?

We dated in our 40s and I've spent the last two years sleeping with college students because those relationships mean nothing.

Wait -- so this means you are in, or past, your 40s and you are having sex with college students? Either you're a college employee/professor/tutor, in which case, clearly scum for screwing students. Or you're a sugar daddy/mama paying for sex one way or another. Or you want us to believe that college students are happily hooking up with someone around 50 because you're so very hot or mind-blowing in bed that they'll happily have sex with you without $$ or favors or grades involved....As if college weren't rife with people their own age to hook up with.

Nah, just a successful, fun man who lives near a campus. College women are much cheaper dates than real dating. It's extremely easy for me. Can't explain it.

You didn't mention the age issue. You're at least 20 years, maybe 30 years, older, based on your first post about an ex you dated "in our 40s."

Sure, dating those college kids all about the fun. Believe it all you like. We know that "successful" is code for "I've got enough bucks to throw around so they date me for money/expensive gifts/other sort-of-sugar-daddy perks." Not for fun that's anything other than high-end. Or for your fabulous bedroom technique. But feel free to keep telling yourself that!

I'm not that previous guy, but after being dumped by my age-appropriate gf I found myself dating a lot of women in their 20s, and as he said they cost less than 40s-50s age women do. My ex-gf needed to stay in $650/night resorts any time we travelled. None of the women I am dating have asked for any money, or gotten any gifts (other than skimpy lingerie). I do pay for dinners. The real expense will probably be child support, because of the risks we take...

I am mid 40s. I am nothing like the women you write about. I don't expect gifts and have never stayed in a resort that expensive. I don't even eat steak for dinner. I am an extremely cheap date. The women you were dating are losers.

Don't bother with trolls like the one who's coming here to claim he's some hot 50s daddy dating "cheap" college girls. It's some guy who gets his jollies getting into these threads and pretending to spice them up. The clues above are the "joke" about "the risks we take" and the reference to how young women will gladly have sex with a guy 20-30 years older just for a few dinners and the "skimpy lingerie" he gives them (and of course for his incredible sexual prowess!).

I'm not hot, and I'm not dating college girls. Don't project your own transactional thought process onto other people.

[Anonymous]

Yes, well versed in the person living as my imaginary friend that never leaves.