Would you stay in a marriage with separate finances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not except if he has good reason to be concerned with your spending. That's not a marriage. That's not a marriage.

My spending isn’t crazy although I’ve incurred some late penalties on taxes before. I do have goals that I’d need his income to achieve in terms of house, college funds, private school, vacations (I work FT and make about 25% of HHI). He is not into funding my dreams.

It sounds like you want to live way above your means but some tax penalties are serious. It sounds like he has good reason to keep things separate as if you file late it could impact him.

This is well within our combined means. Combined HHI is $700K annually.

So you make at least 150K, and you are putting up with this nonsense.

Grow a backbone.

She can't, she has dreams!

[Anonymous]

Well, what other choices do you have?

[Anonymous]

You’ve posted the same thing several times over the years, word for word. We always talk you out of it. You’re still tempted take him up on this??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are better off divorcing and getting childsupport and alimony.

I am so, so, so sorry that you had a kid with this POS.

She demands that he finances her "dreams" and he is the POS? I would be pissed off too if someone had dreams for my money.

If you were married and thinking in terms of “my money” you are, indeed, the POS.

Can’t believe the entitlement of wanting to send your kids to college…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Separate finances are the only way I would marry or stay married.
If your husband makes much more than he used to, maybe he would do a post-nup instead of separate finances. He should have gotten a pre-nup though.

Says the person who is…not married.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely. My ex ruined my finances and we only co-mingled a few things. I didn't marry my child's father. Did not want to co-mingle financed or change name. I don't trust men enough to do that.
Late penalties for taxes. I'm on his side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not except if he has good reason to be concerned with your spending. That's not a marriage. That's not a marriage.

My spending isn’t crazy although I’ve incurred some late penalties on taxes before. I do have goals that I’d need his income to achieve in terms of house, college funds, private school, vacations (I work FT and make about 25% of HHI). He is not into funding my dreams.

It sounds like you want to live way above your means but some tax penalties are serious. It sounds like he has good reason to keep things separate as if you file late it could impact him.

This is well within our combined means. Combined HHI is $700K annually.

Then, where is the drama! You cannot be responsible with money, so he is right. You make enough toupport yourself. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely no.

Do not sell yourself short.

You only get one shot at life.

Make it count‼️👍🏽

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and this would have been ideal. We divorced.

[Anonymous]

We do separate finances and have never had an argument about money! Although we do separate finances we have a joint account for household bills + household project fund. We each contribute our determined share. We have a joint investment account where we both contribute our determined share. And we have a joint savings and travel account. For this, we determine our total savings goal for the new year by December 15th. For this account we contribute equal shares. If we get work bonuses, 20% goes into this savings regardless of the amount. Last year, my bonus was $17.5k and my wife got a $26k bonus. This all works really well for us. Together, these joint accounts equates to 43-48% of our annual salary. The rest we get to keep and do whatever without questions.

We are in our late 30s. Our 401ks are already over $700k each. Our joint savings crossed 250k last year and our joint investment account is slightly over $300k. Perhaps we could be doing better, but we love our lifestyle and it’s nice to not fight over money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do separate finances and have never had an argument about money! Although we do separate finances we have a joint account for household bills + household project fund. We each contribute our determined share. We have a joint investment account where we both contribute our determined share. And we have a joint savings and travel account. For this, we determine our total savings goal for the new year by December 15th. For this account we contribute equal shares. If we get work bonuses, 20% goes into this savings regardless of the amount. Last year, my bonus was $17.5k and my wife got a $26k bonus. This all works really well for us. Together, these joint accounts equates to 43-48% of our annual salary. The rest we get to keep and do whatever without questions.

We are in our late 30s. Our 401ks are already over $700k each. Our joint savings crossed 250k last year and our joint investment account is slightly over $300k. Perhaps we could be doing better, but we love our lifestyle and it’s nice to not fight over money.

I like this approach! I’m so sick of my husband questioning my purchases. I could see if we were barely getting by. But he wants to know “how did you spend $60 at target.” Like really?

[Anonymous]

OP, you should consult with a lawyer before you agree to anything to fully understand what you are giving up. If you are not on the title or mortgage to the house and he bought it before the marriage, it may not be marital property anyway (I am not saying it isn’t; I just don’t know). You may also be able to negotiate something in exchange for the house. Don’t agree to this blindly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband wants a financial divorce but to remain a co-habiting couple and raising our kid together.

Consult a lawyer and establish what finances would look like if you divorced. That would be my starting point for negotiating this situation.

[Anonymous]

Man here, married 20 years...we have two accounts, a joint one for most of our purchases and her own account for stuff she wants to buy. It's not for everybody but it works for us.

[Anonymous]

Married woman with separate finances from the start here. This works for us, but OP, this sounds like your marriage is in trouble.