Cut-off Mother Sending Certified Letter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A sibling did this after I blocked them every other way. I accepted it, and then threw it away. Drove my sibling crazy because they were expecting a response.

I would advise not accepting it. If you do, whether or not you read it, you are considered notified. Post office may leave the notice on your door to sign and leave for them so they can deliver. Just tear up the notice or green card. They will then return to sender.

[Anonymous]

I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

You can open the door for the letter carrier and decline in person. That way it's sent back immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cut off my parents (whole family, really) back in July of last year. DH and I have blocked them on our phones and social media. My mother periodically sends cards or gifts for DD, which have all been thrown out. (DH has thrown most of these away without me seeing them, per my request.) She’s also left a couple voicemails over the past year, none of which I’ve listened to. (Again, DH has screened and deleted them.) Along with blocking them, I did text my parents last November to say the relationship was over and I would not respond to any communication.

Last voicemail was a couple weeks ago, DH said she sounded more stern and said I had to call or text them so they knew I was OK. We have USPS notifications set up and saw that a certified letter is now on its way. What’s the best way to respond to that? If we accept it, she’ll know it was received by us and if we reject it, it’s still an answer, which is really what she’s after.

They are cut off. They don't need to know if you are ok. You don't want them to know. They need to figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

You can open the door for the letter carrier and decline in person. That way it's sent back immediately.

Yes, but then it gets the yellow sticker that says 'refused' rather than 'unclaimed'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

Some posters here clearly want to escalate the mom-daughter drama. They have no interest in helping OP do what's sensible and in her own interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it!

Yes, we know you love the drama. But OP needs to consider her own interests, and that's probably knowing what's in the letter. She mentioned her DH was previewing the voicemails etc--he can read this letter for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it!

Yes, we know you love the drama. But OP needs to consider her own interests, and that's probably knowing what's in the letter. She mentioned her DH was previewing the voicemails etc--he can read this letter for her.

She. Doesn't. Want. It. What part of that is confusing for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it!

Yes, we know you love the drama. But OP needs to consider her own interests, and that's probably knowing what's in the letter. She mentioned her DH was previewing the voicemails etc--he can read this letter for her.

She. Doesn't. Want. It. What part of that is confusing for you?

Your bad advice is what's confusing. Why would you want OP to be blindsided by getting served when she's out with her friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it!

Yes, we know you love the drama. But OP needs to consider her own interests, and that's probably knowing what's in the letter. She mentioned her DH was previewing the voicemails etc--he can read this letter for her.

She. Doesn't. Want. It. What part of that is confusing for you?

Your bad advice is what's confusing. Why would you want OP to be blindsided by getting served when she's out with her friends.

Exactly. Even if OP’s mom has literally zero basis for a legal claim, that doesn’t mean she can’t file suit against OP. Frivolous claims are made all the time in courts. It’s in OP’s interest to know if that is where this is headed. It would also be useful for OP to know if her mom is escalating and threatening to go to OP’s employer or CPS or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I'd let it get sent back unclaimed. Meaning, don't open the door for the letter carrier, you will get a second notice (mailed, not brought by the carrier) and then it will be returned 'unclaimed' to the sender.

Why, so OP can annoy her mom? You people who think this is an emotional war to the death between OP and her mom are missing the point. OP needs to act in her own interest, and she also needs to stop caring whether her mom is hurt or gloating. If mom is suing OP, OP is going to find out when she gets served, and ignoring a letter isn't going to change that. If the letter is an anodyne "we miss our grandkids," then OP can just not respond.

The OP does not want mail from the mother and does not have to accept it!

Yes, we know you love the drama. But OP needs to consider her own interests, and that's probably knowing what's in the letter. She mentioned her DH was previewing the voicemails etc--he can read this letter for her.

She. Doesn't. Want. It. What part of that is confusing for you?

Your bad advice is what's confusing. Why would you want OP to be blindsided by getting served when she's out with her friends.

This is crazy. Op does not want the letter. She can't live her whole life around her crazy mother's letter-sending. And if the mother is going to sue, what difference does accepting the letter or not do? Not sure why you jump right to sueing.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are getting some bad advice here that does not take into account your wishes and desires. If you do not want the letter in your home-let it go back unclaimed.

If you want dh to accept and read it-do that, but you do not have to have the letter in your home if you do not want to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP, you are getting some bad advice here that does not take into account your wishes and desires. If you do not want the letter in your home-let it go back unclaimed.

If you want dh to accept and read it-do that, but you do not have to have the letter in your home if you do not want to.

^^^ bad advice