Time will tell! It’s doubtful that you’ll get a passive ninny for a DIL, though. Likely she’ll have a backbone and won’t feel the need to be the point of contact for YOUR family. Best of luck. |
Great! IDGAF about who texts who what as long as it works. You’re the one with rigid thinking about how to get from A to B. |
+100 DH throws me under the is all.the.time. I assumed it was intentional. I’ve finally decided he’s just has low EQ. Still seems like a cop out to me. |
And then people wonder why I opt out of the game of telephone and go straight to the woman in the relationship… probably because I’m a misogynist. |
X1000 |
I told my in-laws repeatedly early in our marriage that my DH and I both had large families and had agreed that he handled all holidays/gifts/thank you notes etc for his side and I would for mine. They could not wrap their minds around this and for years I’d get passive aggressive texts about all this stuff. I just ignored and forwarded to him. Sometimes he handled stuff, sometimes he wouldn’t. Yeah, they got a lot of random last minute panic purchased Harry and David gift baskets from him over the years, instead of more personal gifts, but oh well. I know they thought badly of me but it had literally zero impact bon my day to day life. |
Same. My freshman year of college I had a paper due the day we returned from Thanksgiving break and had other homework today. I have several older brothers. They didn't help one iota and we wee all adults. Through my entire life they have never helped cook or clean up at holidays. I stopped attending a long time ago as I refuse to be their slave. |
You are a sexist dinosaur and ridiculous. I wouldn't tolerate your crap for one second. |
Only older women. My generation (M) stopped with this nonsense. |
The point is, it won’t “work,” because the next generation of women isn’t weak and passive like you, and will not be taking on their husband’s emotional labor. You raised your son to think that this is women’s work, so he won’t do it. And your DIL won’t be a sucker. So it won’t “work” as no one will call you back or make plans with you. ![]() |
My husband is responsible for the gift buying for his family and every year on December 23, he’s running around trying to find something for his mom. I usually have no idea what he got until I see her opening it, and every year, without fail, she makes a point of thanking me first and very directly, and I honestly have no idea if it’s because she assumed I bought it, or if she’s throwing shade because she knows I didn’t and she can’t believe I had the audacity to expect her son to lift a finger. |
The funny thing is my Dad (in his 70s) and my granddad (born in the 1910s) were always the turkey makers for holidays and had their particular things they coo I see these men born far later using age for their excuse but the reality is they're just lazy bums. |
Lady you are one piece of work. You think you’re such a progressive warrior but here you are assuming my boys will marry women. It’s not that serious. We will have holidays or we won’t. Maybe my daughter and I will escape to Paris every year. This is not a hill I am willing to die on today and it won’t be in 20 years either. At this point I’m surprised any of your in-laws are willing to reach out to you at all. |
This is what I do, too! |
Assigning work is not "including". Also, why isn't her son on text chains about it? I'm with PP, if it's your family, you deal with it. My family, I deal with it. |