Family mad I canceled event—when my daughter is sick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have thought you were overreacting and would have rolled my eyes—but I also would accept I’m not entitled to your home or time! There are issues where we say “reasonable minds can disagree” and this is one.

This is where I am. I personally would have proceeded with one parent home with the sick kid, and the other daughter getting her communion party. I don’t think both parents need to be home attending to the sick kid, and I don’t think the other sibling should have lost her communion party. But I understand why a parent might have wanted a joint party for both kids, and that’s ok too.

THE PARTY WAS AT OP’S HOUSE. What don’t you get about that? It was a church service (communion) followed by a party with catered food at OP’s house. At least read the whole thread if you are going to comment.

[Anonymous]

If it’s the sick kid’s communion, it’s fine to cancel it. Otherwise imo OP should have managed/had a back up plan. But if she canceled, I don’t get being so upset about a little blow back.

[Anonymous]

First communion in November and not in the spring? What church is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have thought you were overreacting and would have rolled my eyes—but I also would accept I’m not entitled to your home or time! There are issues where we say “reasonable minds can disagree” and this is one.

This is where I am. I personally would have proceeded with one parent home with the sick kid, and the other daughter getting her communion party. I don’t think both parents need to be home attending to the sick kid, and I don’t think the other sibling should have lost her communion party. But I understand why a parent might have wanted a joint party for both kids, and that’s ok too.

THE PARTY WAS AT OP’S HOUSE. What don’t you get about that? It was a church service (communion) followed by a party with catered food at OP’s house. At least read the whole thread if you are going to comment.

You seem quite upset by the idea that some people would do things differently yet not judge OP’s choice too. I would have gone to the church gathering, allowed people to assume the risk of staying at my house given the disclosure of the sick kid, and had the catering at the uncle’s house where people were gathering anyway or at my house with the sick child in isolation. It’s ok to make a different choice but no, OP’s decision wouldn’t have been mine. I would have made the effort to celebrate for the non sick kid even if some things needed to be reshuffled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only person in this story who behaved obnoxiously was the “she’s exhausting…it’s not covid” aunt. Everyone else seems perfectly normal and has given fine reactions. I can see a bit the surprise that ILs didn’t come. They could have easily stayed with you and not been near the sick daughter. But also fine they didn’t come.

So one bad aunt isn’t so bad OP! I think you’re being hard on your family. Sounds like they regrouped and handled things ok.

Hope your daughter feels better.

Oh, how interesting that you know the exact size and layout of OP’s dwelling, when she did not provide that information.

You are correct I assumed sick child has a bedroom. Apologies I did not consider they live in a one room house.

[Anonymous]

I also think it kind of sucks for the non-sick kid. There are definitely ways to carry on without exposing people to the sick daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First communion in November and not in the spring? What church is this?

Our church has fall first communions too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think it kind of sucks for the non-sick kid. There are definitely ways to carry on without exposing people to the sick daughter.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Honestly with family like this I would have just said "Larla's really sick, sorry" and not given play by plays and not taken younger daughter for a visit.

I have relatives that can be similar, so we just make a final call and share that only (and yes, we've done the same) and then sign off communications for a few days.

Personally, I think their reaction are exhausting, but that's just me.

We also have family who cancelled a gathering and got mad at us when we requested rapid tests (which we were providing) in the thick of Covid.

Screw 'em.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only person in this story who behaved obnoxiously was the “she’s exhausting…it’s not covid” aunt. Everyone else seems perfectly normal and has given fine reactions. I can see a bit the surprise that ILs didn’t come. They could have easily stayed with you and not been near the sick daughter. But also fine they didn’t come.

So one bad aunt isn’t so bad OP! I think you’re being hard on your family. Sounds like they regrouped and handled things ok.

Hope your daughter feels better.

Oh, how interesting that you know the exact size and layout of OP’s dwelling, when she did not provide that information.

What DCUM house doesn’t have a bedroom for a sick child to isolate in??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a newlywed my inlaws flipped out when I cancelled a visit for a party they were throwing because I was so stomach sick I could not keep anything down. They insisted DH come and he did and he apparently was a carrier. He ended up sick there and got everyone sick and up until anyone had a symptoms they insisted I was faking it.

My own mother flipped out that I didn't do anything for her for her birthday because I was too busy in the emergency room with her granddaughter. I did not sleep the entire time she was hospitalized. I told my mother all of this. The day of her birthday I got a hostile text. I didn't know what day it was, what time it was or where i was because I had caught an illness at the hospital and I was disoriented and burnedout. My daughter was home, but still had to be monitored so we were not out of the woods and all my mother could think about was herself. No, I hope my grandaughter is OK and I hope you are holding up OK. Just, a vent about what A terrible daughter I was and how hurt she is.

My husband and I have a close bond in part because we come from people who lack basic empathy and compassion.

PP, I am so sorry. You are not alone with extended family like this. A version of this has happened with my mother and with my DHs parents various times in the last 15 years. I get it.

[Anonymous]

You never mentioned it, but I assume you DID test for covid, OP?

The only reason I ask, is the current strains of covid present exactly how your daughter is feeling. The symptoms are all the same, plus fever (most patients who've come to my office with covid, have required a steroid because their throats hurt so badly -- the tender or sore throat has been the most predominant indication, along with fever).

I would also schedule your daughter for a strep test... RSV has been spreading like wildfire in the schools, as well.

You were correct to cancel, OP.
As a physician, I can say that with the utmost confidence.

We have been seeing patients in alarming numbers for covid, strep, RSV, bronchitis, walking pneumonia, even the flu has appeared poised to stage a comeback this year in such severe strains, that they threaten to cause a long-feared "twindemic" within the United States (twindemic refers to a severe flu season occurring alongside, and in greater intensity, as an increase in cases of COVID-19).

We've seen a steep rise in new mutations of influenza (new mutations create new variants) so nobody has the luxury of being lax about infections anymore, especially when the very young & elderly are involved (fyi, when a virus replicates, the end copy has differences, those differences are mutations -- when you accumulate enough mutations, a new variant is produced).

You absolutely did the right thing by canceling, and *nobody* should be disparaging you for having the common sense & good judgment to do so. It's shocking to me that anyone would be so flippant about potentially getting sick this flu season.

For the people who are being critical of you... ask them when was the last time they went down the cold & flu aisle of their local grocery store? The aisles are almost barren.
Cold & flu medications specifically have all been a challenge for stores to keep in stock. Most of the name brands are in shortage.

I sent in a prescription for Bromphen DM to a patient's pharmacy (Bromphen is a cough syrup used to treat upper respiratory symptoms (such as nasal congestion & cough) caused by illnesses like the common cold, flu, RSV, covid, etc.).
The mom called us back to say that the medication was backordered, and the pharmacy (Giant on Old Georgetown Rd.) had been out of stock for weeks and they didn't know when they'd be getting it back in stock again.
My office heard the same thing from 5 other pharmacies we called afterwards to see if they had it.
The shortages are no joke.

For those being critical -- if you or your children haven't gotten sick this flu season, please count your lucky stars. I sincerely hope you stay in good health... but don't judge this mother good sense.

For the life of me, I will never understand people who are either too selfish or too inconsiderate, that they would actually prioritize a frivolous party over the health, well being & safety of their friends & family (especially within the biomedical climate we're currently experiencing).

OP, just imagine had you still gone through with your party, and it turned into a super spreader event with your daughter infecting your friends & relatives (or worse, an elderly relative was hospitalized or died)?
These same relatives who are criticizing you right now, would be doing so even more because you irresponsibly went through with the party, right?

So you see, with some people you really just cannot win, because they live to be negative & condemnatory. So, to you I say... who cares about them & their opinions?
You know what you did was sound judgment and the right thing to do, and that's all that really matters.

DCUM friends... please, please listen.
This child & flu season isn't like any other cold & flu season we've seen in a hundred years, so I hope it goes without saying that it would be prudent for all to heed the warning of the philosophy "better safe than sorry", especially when making decisions about plans this winter.

Please be well everyone. 😊

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only person in this story who behaved obnoxiously was the “she’s exhausting…it’s not covid” aunt. Everyone else seems perfectly normal and has given fine reactions. I can see a bit the surprise that ILs didn’t come. They could have easily stayed with you and not been near the sick daughter. But also fine they didn’t come.

So one bad aunt isn’t so bad OP! I think you’re being hard on your family. Sounds like they regrouped and handled things ok.

Hope your daughter feels better.

Oh, how interesting that you know the exact size and layout of OP’s dwelling, when she did not provide that information.

What DCUM house doesn’t have a bedroom for a sick child to isolate in??

NP. You think every DCUM house—many in Washington, DC—has not only a separate room for every child, but also a guest room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First communion in November and not in the spring? What church is this?

NP. Oh hi, Catholic poster. Did you know that other Christian churches have first communions, basically whenever the children are old enough to go through the classes or preparation sessions with the pastor? Do you know that not every denomination dresses their girls in little bridal gowns? Did you know that other denominations honor it as a special day even though they don’t believe in transubstantiation? The More You Know…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First communion in November and not in the spring? What church is this?

Our church has fall first communions too.

What kind of church? Just curious.