Sibling abuse trigger warning

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you absolutely need to divorce your husband and the fact that you are even questioning this is concerning. If you hope to ever have a relationship with your child once she reaches adulthood and not have her hate you as much as you do your stepson you have a very limited window to try to make amends for putting her in this situation and show you are 100% in her corner.

Thank you for being honest. You won't believe the responses I have gotten from family that I should feel sorry for my husband because he is in a tough situation trying to.protect both kids. It makes me physically sick. I do not see my stepson as a kid. I see him as a predator. He is 6 months away from.being 18.

Your instincts are in the right place, just keep following them. Wishing healing for you and your daughter.

Chiming in to say you are doing exactly the right thing my protecting your daughter. Don’t second guess yourself for an instant. I’d love for your husband to snap out of it and realize that he has to protect your 6 year old and that if he doesn’t get this right your marriage may not survive this.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming you have no job or hope of leaving your husband?

I wouldn't be surprised if he were an abuser too.

[Anonymous]

OP, i had a similar situation and am still working this thru 40 years later. I wish I had been believed and I wish my mother had put me first.

[Anonymous]

PP ^ - thank you for doing this. You are doing the right thing, and it is a huge statement about you as a person and as a mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to be careful and probably get out to protect your daughter. CPS has alot of power and if they feel you aren't taking steps to protect your daughter by siding with your husband (even if you are not-there is that appearance), they can ask the court to make alternative temporary arrangements and request a protective order against both you and your husband. Not saying that will happen, but it is a possibilty.

100% this. If you don't leave and your husband won't sever ties they will take your children from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I should of said this. Stepson is out. He only stayed two Saturdays a month anyway. But cps said no contact until investigation is over. I plan to never allow him in my home or near my kids

My daughter is my husband's. I have 4 children under 8 with my husband.

Why so many??

+1. Husband and stepson sound terrible. Can't believe you had 4 with that DH.

[Anonymous]

For the sake of other children, file a police report. 17 is months away from being a legal adult. This is extremely serious. He needs to be kept away from children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 100% on your team OP and I am so very sorry. I can understand that your husband is devastated and he can’t turn off his instinct to protect his son. This is very sudden and he has a lot to work through. He will get there and you should hold him accountable in making sure he does so. He is not handling things well right now and maybe some space is a good thing while he gets his head in straight.

I would bet 100 dollars this was not the first time his son did this.

[Anonymous]

OP hang in there. You are doing the right thing. I have a family member who had something similar happen to them except their mom did not believe them and it destroyed their relationship forever. And it ended up there were many more victims. If your stepson did this with the relatively minor amount of access to your daughter that he has, if he has maternal half siblings there are probably more victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm assuming you have no job or hope of leaving your husband?

I wouldn't be surprised if he were an abuser too.

I have a job and hopes of leaving. We found out it has happened other times . Poice report was filed states attorney declined to proceed with charges said my daughter would make a poor witness and some other bs. Step son is not allowed near my kids or in my home. Not by way of court order by way of mutual agreement not court order.

The reaction of my husband is beyond terrifying. He is now in complete denial and using states attorneys decision as justification. I plan to leave at end of school year. What is scary is if I leave and he gets any visitation. He does not believe this even happened he will likely bring stepson around my kids if I am not in picture. Getting full custody is difficult even in these situations. I am afraid court will think I am trying to alienate my husband. Ideally I want to leave and move states away so I don't have to worry about stepson. I am willing to give up child support if husband will give up overnight visits. Husband is unreasonable and i am scared for the future. We are in counseling. Counselor thinks he is in shock. I don't think he will come around. I am trying to plan a calculated exit at the end of school year.

[Anonymous]

Definitely nanny cams in the house. At the very least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry I should of said this. Stepson is out. He only stayed two Saturdays a month anyway. But cps said no contact until investigation is over. I plan to never allow him in my home or near my kids

My daughter is my husband's. I have 4 children under 8 with my husband.

Why so many??

+1. Husband and stepson sound terrible. Can't believe you had 4 with that DH.

So not helpful, STFU.

[Anonymous]

OP, you did the right thing for you daughter but I think you need to be more understanding towards your husband. How do you expect him to react on the news that his son has been doing horrible things to his daughter? He is in a position where he needs to try and help both of his kids. He can't abandon his son, which is what you want him to do. You and your husband need to see a therapist ASAP and your daughter needs to receive some trauma focused therapy.

[Anonymous]

Was your SS abused as a child? Maybe when with his mom and whatever man du jour?

[Anonymous]

With 4 kids under 8, it seems like your kids are safer staying than risking your DH gets unsupervised custody. At least you can ensure your stepson is never in your house.

There are a lot of parents who will always support their child even if they are a sexual deviant, serial killer, etc. Think how hard it is for your husband knowing that one of his kids abused another of his kids. He has known the 17 year old so much longer than the 6 year old. If you have a son and when he is a teen if he does something like that would you disown him? Or try to get him help?