Husband Resenting Me
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Anonymous
Well you’ll be dealing with this situation if you plan to have another baby in 1 year but don’t tend to buy a house for 2-3 years. |
Anonymous
OP here. We won’t be having a baby in 1 year. |
Anonymous
“ We definitely want two kids and we will be trying for a second next year. We may not buy a house in two years, but we will be in the next 3 years. I figured once the kids are toddlers, we will need more space.” If you’re waiting until they are toddlers to need more space, then you’ll have overlap. |
Anonymous
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Streeterville...?
I'm sorry. I can't get over this. I haven't lived in Chicago in 10 years, but the below link was my building, on the Mag Mile basically, on LSD barely north of Streeterville. It's practically the same extremely upscale, safe neighborhood with amenities and everything right at your doorstep... High rise, doorman 24/7, etc... And a 2BR of almost the same size is less than half the price. https://www.apartments.com/1360-n-lake-shore-dr-chicago-il-unit-1901/w6k9cjj/ Maybe you're just extremely fearful of Chicago that you'd... well, apparently prefer to live in the "safety" of a commercial district or something-- or you think sheer expenditure of cash = safety. I'm sure your building has a couple more amenities, but... By my quick search, you must live in one of the literally 2-3 most expensive buildings in Streeterville itself. There's no way you're truly buying significantly better amenities and especially not more safety for the extra $1500-2000+ you're paying over most of the luxury buildings in *Streeterville*. Your DH is being passive-aggressive, but there does come a time when the sheer amount of money being flushed down the toilet on rent is too mind-boggling to stand. Regardless of your income. You're saying "Well, the rent is the same as we'd be paying for a mortgage" but you're missing the point that it doesn't HAVE TO. Your case here is poor. It's like saying, "Well, we eat out every night and it costs us $200, but eating at home also costs us $200, so what's the difference?" Neglecting to mention that your grocery shopping consists of shipping overpriced mid-quality steaks from France to your home because "I trust The French Department of Agriculture more than the USDA." Or something. |
Anonymous
I’m from Chicago. I looked up the amenities and area with prices. I think it’s probably this building or a similar one. https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/514-N-Peshtigo-Ct_Chicago_IL_60611_M76533-59775 https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/514-N-Peshtigo-Ct_Chicago_IL_60611_M76533-59775 |
Anonymous
If it is, that’s way better than the one PP lived in. |
Anonymous
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OP, first off, congrats on the new baby!
That said, you and your husband are a team. That doesn’t mean you make decisions and he says ok. Both of your desires need to be discussed. This is the first of many decisions that you two will have to make together and saying “but we already decided x” wont help. |
Anonymous
| why don’t you show him the NYT rent v. buy calculator? Should put an end to whether buying a condo worth it or not very quickly. |
Anonymous
| What do you want us to do about it, OP? You’ve got what you want, now deal with your husband. |
Anonymous
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Owning in Chicago sux.
Property taxes are sky high, like $25-30k a year in a $750k property. Thus nothing appreciates much in value since they’d price out of the buyer market ($2.5k a month to govt) HOA fees are ridiculous on new urban condos. $1k a month to HoA, also depresses value of property and suppresses appreciation. Buy and sell of a pretty only makes sense if you hold it 7+ years to recoup costs and living. 6% to the realtor (to sell, and on buy frankly), 4% govt fees and taxes and titling. Makes no sense to buy an interim condo for 2-4 years. Waste of money and time. |
Anonymous
He is entitled to his own opinion, you can't control his thoughts but since he agreed, saying told you so is petty. |
Anonymous
Jesus, so much aggressiveness from the women on DCUM – it’s not surprising that there are so many divorcees here. |
Anonymous
Once kids are toddlers, they will be asleep, in day care, preschool, before school, school, after school, sports, park, activities for most waking hours while you two will be at work, dinning out commuting, shopping,visiting parents/in-laws or hauling kids around. Kids don't really need much space in today's lifestyle, we just think they do. As long as your building as some common spaces and there is a playground nearby, you are good. Just don't collect foo much stuff, they'll quickly outgrow it anyway. That being said, a condo may not be your dream home but its still your own and helps build equity so it's not a bad idea. Get one, live there until your income and savings are at a level to buy a bigger place. Having your own place gives you security in case life throws curveballs, some of the security is real and some is perceived but both good for mental security. As a compromise, see if you can buy a condo in your area. Young marriages are a challenge with little babies and financial struggles, only way to come out strong is to join hands. Both of you need to deposit kindness, thoughtfulness and cooperation into marital bank to withdraw. |
Anonymous
| Living far from work when you have kids, and at least one parent works in an office, is awful. Just saying. |
Anonymous
you're not an adult are you? or do you now just live alone with your cats? |