Do you think parent should tell spouse if leaving the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol

“May I please go get the car inspected?”

“Who else will be there? When will you be back? Make sure you tell me if you are going to use any busy roads.”

My husband would say “hey I’m off to get the car inspected, kids are all yours!”

And I’d say “sounds good!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And I’d be pissed about the attempt to gaslight you with that defensive response. You did nothing wrong.

This.

[Anonymous]

You probably treat him like a child in so many ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably treat him like a child in so many ways.

And you probably act like one in all your relationships. Go you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol

“May I please go get the car inspected?”

“Who else will be there? When will you be back? Make sure you tell me if you are going to use any busy roads.”

This is why he doesn't ask her permission!

It’s not about permission, it’s about communication. What if she ran out to do a quick errand at the same time, and because there was no communication, young children were left alone in the house?

[Anonymous]

This is bizarre! My husband would have told me before we had kids! You don’t just leave the house without letting someone know you’re going.

“Off to run some errands!”
“Great, see you later.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, that’s being part of a family. You are in interconnected unit. It’s also just common courtesy.

+100


Same for taking a shower - we don’t ask permission exactly, but we notify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol

“May I please go get the car inspected?”

“Who else will be there? When will you be back? Make sure you tell me if you are going to use any busy roads.”

This is why he doesn't ask her permission!

It’s not about permission, it’s about communication. What if she ran out to do a quick errand at the same time, and because there was no communication, young children were left alone in the house?

But she wouldn't have left the house without telling her DH. If they ran out at the same time then they would have seen each other, wouldn't they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol

“May I please go get the car inspected?”

“Who else will be there? When will you be back? Make sure you tell me if you are going to use any busy roads.”

This is why he doesn't ask her permission!

It’s not about permission, it’s about communication. What if she ran out to do a quick errand at the same time, and because there was no communication, young children were left alone in the house?

But she wouldn't have left the house without telling her DH. If they ran out at the same time then they would have seen each other, wouldn't they?

Add into the mix working from home and your spouse saying that they've gone 20 + years doing what they wanted without notifying anyone.

[Anonymous]

Why? Is this even a serious question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, that’s being part of a family. You are in interconnected unit. It’s also just common courtesy.

+100


Same for taking a shower - we don’t ask permission exactly, but we notify.

You announce to your household that you’re going to take a shower? Seriously? You’re joking, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, that’s being part of a family. You are in interconnected unit. It’s also just common courtesy.

+100


Same for taking a shower - we don’t ask permission exactly, but we notify.

You announce to your household that you’re going to take a shower? Seriously? You’re joking, right?

NP, but we do this. It doesn't seem weird to me at all; people might want to know where you are or to use to the bathroom before it's occupied for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol

“May I please go get the car inspected?”

“Who else will be there? When will you be back? Make sure you tell me if you are going to use any busy roads.”

This is why he doesn't ask her permission!

It’s not about permission, it’s about communication. What if she ran out to do a quick errand at the same time, and because there was no communication, young children were left alone in the house?

But she wouldn't have left the house without telling her DH. If they ran out at the same time then they would have seen each other, wouldn't they?

But that’s a double standard. She always tells, so he can just do whatever he wants? And I don’t mean literally the exact same time—if he left the house, and then 10 minutes later, she did, they would both be gone, and neither would realize. I feel you’re not arguing in good faith here.

[Anonymous]

Also it's safety. If something happens downstairs, or you hear someone rummaging around, your reaction might be different if your spouse is home or not, as far as you know. Also does he lock the doors when he leaves?

It's just a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is common courtesy to tell your spouse when you are leaving the house. It’s important to tell your spouse when they are being left in charge of children.

Agree. DH and I both work from home and will even tell each other if we’re running out when the kids are at school. It’s just polite so the other person doesn’t go looking for you when you’re not home. And sometimes if DH is running out I may ask him to do a quick errand for me if it’s on his way. Plus we only one have 1 car so if it’s not a foot outing then we have to coordinate needing the car. I think it’s odd OP’s husband is trying to assert his independence this way.

Do neither of you have calls or meetings? You want your call/meeting interrupted so DH can tell you he’s running to Home Depot? Interesting.