S/O. Why did a nanny candidate decline your offer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Ha! That is your bias, clearly. The kindest, most responsive people I’ve workd for have focused on the actual people they are around, not their likenesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Ha! That is your bias, clearly. The kindest, most responsive people I’ve workd for have focused on the actual people they are around, not their likenesses.

But I guarantee if you went to interview at an office or went to shop at a store that had sh$tty decorating, you'd think twice about wanting to spend much time there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Ha! That is your bias, clearly. The kindest, most responsive people I’ve workd for have focused on the actual people they are around, not their likenesses.

But I guarantee if you went to interview at an office or went to shop at a store that had sh$tty decorating, you'd think twice about wanting to spend much time there.

Unless it is Google-amazing, the people and pay matter more.

[Anonymous]

Allergic to the neighbor’s cat! Smh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Ha! That is your bias, clearly. The kindest, most responsive people I’ve workd for have focused on the actual people they are around, not their likenesses.

But I guarantee if you went to interview at an office or went to shop at a store that had sh$tty decorating, you'd think twice about wanting to spend much time there.

Lack of any decor is one thing, pictures of the people who live in the house is another thing all together. If every single decorative item on your walls, bookshelf, and mantle is a picture of the parents I might feel like they were staring at me all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hours we needed made it difficult to find a LO nanny.

We needed 6:30am to 3:00pm / 8am to 4pm alternating weeks, with occasional afternoons going to 3:30pm.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the nanny search, it’s that you have to meet the market where it is. My friends that had really unique hours like this have struggled to find and keep a nanny. Sorry PP, I get the pain, but you either will need to pay a premium or offer 6:30 to 4pm every week so your nanny has consistency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Ha! That is your bias, clearly. The kindest, most responsive people I’ve workd for have focused on the actual people they are around, not their likenesses.

But I guarantee if you went to interview at an office or went to shop at a store that had sh$tty decorating, you'd think twice about wanting to spend much time there.

this is a really bizarre take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Nanny here and a family I worked for who had only like 2 photographs displayed and lots of expensive, mature art even in the children’s play room (not mature like old but like stern looking oil paintings that no kid would even like or enjoy), well that family was very focused on the adults’ likes and needs and I had to spend a lot of time advocating for basic accommodations for the children (e.g., asking to let them at least have some gross motor toys in the garage and some foam balls for the yard since they were literally not allowed to run or throw anything anywhere in the house.

I didn't allow my children to run in the house or to throw things. Who does allow this? These are outside activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Nanny here and a family I worked for who had only like 2 photographs displayed and lots of expensive, mature art even in the children’s play room (not mature like old but like stern looking oil paintings that no kid would even like or enjoy), well that family was very focused on the adults’ likes and needs and I had to spend a lot of time advocating for basic accommodations for the children (e.g., asking to let them at least have some gross motor toys in the garage and some foam balls for the yard since they were literally not allowed to run or throw anything anywhere in the house.

Mature art? Nudes? Pornography?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hours we needed made it difficult to find a LO nanny.

We needed 6:30am to 3:00pm / 8am to 4pm alternating weeks, with occasional afternoons going to 3:30pm.

Terrible schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Nanny here and a family I worked for who had only like 2 photographs displayed and lots of expensive, mature art even in the children’s play room (not mature like old but like stern looking oil paintings that no kid would even like or enjoy), well that family was very focused on the adults’ likes and needs and I had to spend a lot of time advocating for basic accommodations for the children (e.g., asking to let them at least have some gross motor toys in the garage and some foam balls for the yard since they were literally not allowed to run or throw anything anywhere in the house.

I didn't allow my children to run in the house or to throw things. Who does allow this? These are outside activities.

Most families allow kids to play rough in one room of the house. Maybe a playroom or bedroom. Not talking throwing a baseball, but like bouncing a balloon or doing a bean bag toss or playing tag or hide and seek. Also relevant that I was with those kids from babyhood until preschool, so yeah. Most people are not enforcing “no running in any room of the house ever” with toddlers.

As for the paintings, as I said they were fancy oil pantings that were hung right behind the sofa in the playroom withon easy reach but the children were forbidden to touch them (so of course they were functionally just forbidden from sitting on the couch at all IN THE PLAYROOM). And it’s not that they were nudes or anything but they were oil paintings of dour women in dark colors. Not saying everything should be Paw Patrol themed but they could have chosen like bright abstract art, or a landscape or oil paintings with people who didn’t look miserable and all would have been engaging to young kids instead of gloomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Nanny here and a family I worked for who had only like 2 photographs displayed and lots of expensive, mature art even in the children’s play room (not mature like old but like stern looking oil paintings that no kid would even like or enjoy), well that family was very focused on the adults’ likes and needs and I had to spend a lot of time advocating for basic accommodations for the children (e.g., asking to let them at least have some gross motor toys in the garage and some foam balls for the yard since they were literally not allowed to run or throw anything anywhere in the house.

I didn't allow my children to run in the house or to throw things. Who does allow this? These are outside activities.

Most families allow kids to play rough in one room of the house. Maybe a playroom or bedroom. Not talking throwing a baseball, but like bouncing a balloon or doing a bean bag toss or playing tag or hide and seek. Also relevant that I was with those kids from babyhood until preschool, so yeah. Most people are not enforcing “no running in any room of the house ever” with toddlers.

As for the paintings, as I said they were fancy oil pantings that were hung right behind the sofa in the playroom withon easy reach but the children were forbidden to touch them (so of course they were functionally just forbidden from sitting on the couch at all IN THE PLAYROOM). And it’s not that they were nudes or anything but they were oil paintings of dour women in dark colors. Not saying everything should be Paw Patrol themed but they could have chosen like bright abstract art, or a landscape or oil paintings with people who didn’t look miserable and all would have been engaging to young kids instead of gloomy.

NP here and I understood what you’re saying. We don’t let our kids chuck balls all over the house or even jump on our couches. But we do have a basement playroom with their artwork hung up and bright cheerful decor. There is small basketball hoop, nugget couch, etc. and we allow them to run around down there. We also have plenty of outdoor toys, a play set, etc. It would be pretty miserable to watch kids all day and feel like you’re in a museum where they can’t touch anything. Sure kids should be well behaved and parents deserve to have some nice things. But the house should reflect that kids live there too since it is their home as well.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge difference between toddlers running and throwing a ball and ten year old running and throwing a ball! As for the art, well like beauty, art is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe you need an art appreciation course.

[Anonymous]

I turn down because of low pay, very active dog that doesn't respect my space, parents argue each other in front of others, bratty spoiked kids who can't respect transition. I taught infants, toddlers, preschoolers good manners. Without good manners kids are out of control and won't do well in the future.


I've seen this boy hitting the nanny and the stupid ignorant mom(dad is more logical) blames his horrible behavior because of transicion. Nanny stayed only because it was a nanny share. Kid goes to preschool and they can't stand him either. It's not the kids fault. It's the parents FAULT.

[Anonymous]

And I'm Hispanic