S/O. Why did a nanny candidate decline your offer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same.

Well you know DCUM, they’ll go out of their way to find a reason to judge someone! And they’ve gotten very good at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same. And my husband’s a photographer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same. And my husband’s a photographer.

What a relief. I was just thinking whether people think we're weird that we don't have pictures of ourselves around. I just am not artistic and figuring out how to put frames in an aesthetically pleasing way gives me a migraine.

[Anonymous]

I had a mother say, your stack of reference letters are all outstanding, but we really need to first see how our baby reacts to you. I canceled.

What was she expecting? Her child to fall in love with me at first sight? How ridiculous of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same. And my husband’s a photographer.

What a relief. I was just thinking whether people think we're weird that we don't have pictures of ourselves around. I just am not artistic and figuring out how to put frames in an aesthetically pleasing way gives me a migraine.

NP. We take tons of photos, but they are all on our phones or computer! I see no reason to print them out and frame them. The only photos on our walls are one wedding photo and a couple of extended family photos with grandparents who have long since deceased. All taken back when cameras used real film and having print copies was the only way you could see them.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. I always start with newborns so many of my interviews are before the baby is born. Therefore, one of my biggest “Nos” is when the parents are extremely rigid in their plans (e.g., they are obsessed with a particular approach to sleep, they are super focused on how important breastfeeding is, etc.). It’s great to be informed and natural to have opinions but I firmly believe that you have to be open to what the kid needs, and you can’t know that before you know your kid. The parents I work best with have humility about the fact that their child also has a say, and that things don’t always go according to plan and flexibility is key.

Another red flag for me is when Parents didn’t seem to be on the same page. I can’t do my best work when I am getting conflicting feedback, esp. if the dynamic is combative between them.

I am open to working with WAH parents but when that is the case I am EXTREMELY picky about their communication style, personality and attitude towards me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same. And my husband’s a photographer.

What a relief. I was just thinking whether people think we're weird that we don't have pictures of ourselves around. I just am not artistic and figuring out how to put frames in an aesthetically pleasing way gives me a migraine.

Team nanny here. We see each other ALL THE TIME, do we really need photos of ourselves all over the walls? Too many photos of the immediate family leans toward a high level of narcissism. And now that we catch glimpses into people’s homes via social media, I can attest that those with wooden photo-collages of the same 4 individuals over and over, with italic script stating Best Family Ever are definitively not my people. YMMV!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Nanny here and a family I worked for who had only like 2 photographs displayed and lots of expensive, mature art even in the children’s play room (not mature like old but like stern looking oil paintings that no kid would even like or enjoy), well that family was very focused on the adults’ likes and needs and I had to spend a lot of time advocating for basic accommodations for the children (e.g., asking to let them at least have some gross motor toys in the garage and some foam balls for the yard since they were literally not allowed to run or throw anything anywhere in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.

Who said we don't have any art or photos at all? We have tons of art--original works, prints, old travel posters, and some photos we've taken during travel, but not photos of ourselves. Frankly, lots of photos of the family bespeaks a certain narcissism or navel-gazing quality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two candidates were allergic or didn’t like dogs.

#1 excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same. And my husband’s a photographer.

Same and I’m the photographer. I only have a couple of pictures in the family room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.

Same.

Well you know DCUM, they’ll go out of their way to find a reason to judge someone! And they’ve gotten very good at it.

+1

Can't win for losing.

I don't care if someone has photos or not - maybe they love their family, maybe they don't - IDFC. It does not affect me one iota.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house. She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.

there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent.

+1

This. I have been in a house with huge bride and groom photos -but NONE of the very extravagant wedding, or the 10+ year relationship - turns out she got mad at him for cheating, and burned all the photos. So obvious when there are only very recent photos!

[Anonymous]

The hours we needed made it difficult to find a LO nanny.

We needed 6:30am to 3:00pm / 8am to 4pm alternating weeks, with occasional afternoons going to 3:30pm.