Reply to S/O. Why did a nanny candidate decline your offer?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I heard this third hand so I don’t know if it’s true but one nanny we were very interested in hiring turned us down because we had too many photographs of ourselves (DH and I) in the house.  She told a friend who told a friend (who told me) that she was afraid we were narcissists.  [/quote] there’s a fine line. I’m equally suspicious of people who don’t have any or anything recent. [/quote]

Bizarre. We don’t keep any photos of ourselves, new or old, on display in public areas of the house. I don’t really think it says anything about us except that we just don’t take many photos.[/quote] it lacks warmth. you might enjoy working in a cinderblock room for cold uncaring bosses, but most nannies don't. your home is her office, and most people want to work in a place that feels warm and comfortable--plants, pictures/art, etc. These might seem superfluous to people who don't care about aesthetics, but it says a lot about the type of employer you'll be, whether you'll be warm and caring, pay attention to details, or whether it will be strictly the bare minimum transactional relationship. I'm not saying it's bad, but having pictures or not, art or not etc does speak to the type of employer you're likely to be and what the nanny can expect. It shows whether you care or not.[/quote]

Nanny here and a family I worked for who had only like 2 photographs displayed and lots of expensive, mature art even in the children’s play room (not mature like old but like stern looking oil paintings that no kid would even like or enjoy), well that family was very focused on the adults’ likes and needs and I had to spend a lot of time advocating for basic accommodations for the children (e.g., asking to let them at least have some gross motor toys in the garage and some foam balls for the yard since they were literally not allowed to run or throw anything anywhere in the house.[/quote]

I didn't allow my children to run in the house or to throw things.  Who does allow this?  These are outside activities. [/quote]

Most families allow kids to play rough in one room of the house. Maybe a playroom or bedroom.  Not talking throwing a baseball, but like bouncing a balloon or doing a bean bag toss or playing tag or hide and seek.  Also relevant that I was with those kids from babyhood until preschool, so yeah.  Most people are not enforcing “no running in any room of the house ever” with toddlers.

As for the paintings, as I said they were fancy oil pantings that were hung right behind the sofa in the playroom  withon easy reach but the children were forbidden to touch them (so of course they were functionally just forbidden from sitting on the couch at all IN THE PLAYROOM).  And it’s not that they were nudes or anything but they were oil paintings of dour women in dark colors.  Not saying everything should be Paw Patrol themed but they could have chosen like bright abstract art, or a landscape or oil paintings with people who didn’t look miserable and all would have been engaging to young kids instead of gloomy.[/quote]

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