Anyone Been Disinherited?

[Anonymous]

Yes, step mother was an evil witch. But karma came for her!

[Anonymous]

If there is not a lot to inherit, there is not a lot to fight over
Everyone hates the step parent even though it is your parent who wrote the will and the step parent who looked after the ailing parent when you conveniently were not bothered

[Anonymous]

My sister will be. She and my widower father have been estranged for ~15 years, so it all goes to me.

That will be great for our sibling bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister will be. She and my widower father have been estranged for ~15 years, so it all goes to me.

That will be great for our sibling bond.

Do you plan on sharing it with your sister?

[Anonymous]

Yes, from my aunt. She also disinherited my mother. She was a spiteful and mean person who ended up leaving a large sum to a grifter to convinced her to not get surgery she needed until it was too late. We tried to get the state involved, but they found her competent despite a tennis ball sized tumor growing out of her head.

Our estate is getting big enough that in the next round of wills I’m telling my husband I want a certain amount going to the kids upon my death in a trust. Also, as another poster stated I’m planning on giving them gifts before I die vs boarding it all
until the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister will be. She and my widower father have been estranged for ~15 years, so it all goes to me.

That will be great for our sibling bond.

How do you know?
Has your father shown you his will?
What about your deceased mother? Sometimes when one parent dies, the kids inherit her share of the wealth once the other parent is also deceased
In other words your fathers estate is only half his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents disinherited me, because I withdrew from the family. I built my own happy family and refuse to let their BS poison my life any longer.

Agree, sometimes money isn't worth the toxicity. One of my siblings stole the entire estate if our brother who had no had no spouse or children. Glad to be estranged from her toxicity, the money wasn't worth a protracted legal battle and the stress of dealing with her toxicity.

The peace was worth more than the $$.

[Anonymous]

Why are a lot of men changing their minds about leaving inheritance after getting new wife?

[Anonymous]

Yes husbands mother we are more than fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister will be. She and my widower father have been estranged for ~15 years, so it all goes to me.

That will be great for our sibling bond.

Do you plan on sharing it with your sister?

New poster: why would the sister even think she’d get anything or be entitled to anything if she was estranged from him for 15 years. That’s insane. She shouldn’t give her sister a dime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

Clearly step mom feels closer to her kids than her step kids, just like her step kids feel closer to their dad than to her.

Yeah, except ALL 4 kids were biologically Mom''s. Dad was the stepfather to Mom's son.
No one expects their OWN MOM to screw them over. (It's not like we ere estranged from her, which is why it was even more hurtful. And the 2 of us that got screwed believed the other 2 not only knew what was going on, they actively participated. Dad was a decent, fair man. He ALWAYS treated Mom's son, as his own & even adopted him when they got married. We did not even know he was adopted until we were grown adults. Dad's told ALL of us, that EVERYTHING was to be split evenly, 25% each, after he and Mom passed. (So he was even willing to include the step son equal to his own biological children)
As far as the aftermath, how can you continue a relationship with ANY person who has stabbed you in the back, when you thought everyone was on good terms, spent holidays together, etc.?
Fortunately, my DH & I are financially comfortable (not wealthy) & although it does hurt to be financially excluded, especially under these circumstances, the emotional and psychological hurt is unforgiveable. In retrospect, I "overlooked" many hurtful things over the years, thinking they were "by accident" or "harmless" not realizing, that people DO show you who they are. Over the years, my DH did try to tell me that certain things were not very nice or maybe even mean or spiteful, but I refused to think that my Mom or siblings would be evil or hurtful. My biggest regret is that I did not listen enough to the person who truly loves me. And I can never apologize enough or make it up to him.
It's not a matter of "entitlement" - it's the idea that a mother could appear to like/love her children, when that was not reality. And how she could actively ask for gifts/money/favors from those children, knowing that she planned to screw them over. And how siblings could be complicit. It's betrayal and the lack of decency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no.

Who said anything about shouting the bill? Would you cut a sibling out of your life who inherited when you didn’t?

Yes I would. I know that I can convince my mom to do what is right and she planned on cutting one of her grandchildren out of her will for awful reasons. I convinced her to do the right thing. I have siblings that are not like that and are trying to take control now. If things aren't equal it is because of their manipulation of a very elderly woman. I don't want to have a relationship with people who steal. Often the favorites already have bad relationships with their siblings. If my mom isn't fair, I will take my portion and try to make it fair. I'm not trying to brag and I know not everyone can do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

Clearly step mom feels closer to her kids than her step kids, just like her step kids feel closer to their dad than to her.

Yeah, except ALL 4 kids were biologically Mom''s. Dad was the stepfather to Mom's son.
No one expects their OWN MOM to screw them over. (It's not like we ere estranged from her, which is why it was even more hurtful. And the 2 of us that got screwed believed the other 2 not only knew what was going on, they actively participated. Dad was a decent, fair man. He ALWAYS treated Mom's son, as his own & even adopted him when they got married. We did not even know he was adopted until we were grown adults. Dad's told ALL of us, that EVERYTHING was to be split evenly, 25% each, after he and Mom passed. (So he was even willing to include the step son equal to his own biological children)
As far as the aftermath, how can you continue a relationship with ANY person who has stabbed you in the back, when you thought everyone was on good terms, spent holidays together, etc.?
Fortunately, my DH & I are financially comfortable (not wealthy) & although it does hurt to be financially excluded, especially under these circumstances, the emotional and psychological hurt is unforgiveable. In retrospect, I "overlooked" many hurtful things over the years, thinking they were "by accident" or "harmless" not realizing, that people DO show you who they are. Over the years, my DH did try to tell me that certain things were not very nice or maybe even mean or spiteful, but I refused to think that my Mom or siblings would be evil or hurtful. My biggest regret is that I did not listen enough to the person who truly loves me. And I can never apologize enough or make it up to him.
It's not a matter of "entitlement" - it's the idea that a mother could appear to like/love her children, when that was not reality. And how she could actively ask for gifts/money/favors from those children, knowing that she planned to screw them over. And how siblings could be complicit. It's betrayal and the lack of decency.

I know your pain and understand how it feels after. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

If one inherits a million and the sibling inherits nothing, then yes you should share.

[Anonymous]

Happens all the time. My ex's step Grandmother even had Merrill Lynch aiding in stealing money from the estate. They sued, won but after lawyers fees there wasn't much left and they saw very little of the money.