Anyone Been Disinherited?

[Anonymous]

For those who are saying the heir should “share” — it isn’t that simple. If the heir takes the inheritance and gives it to the disinherited relative, it’s considered to be a gift and is taxable (if it’s over the gift exemption limits). If it’s over the annual limit but under the lifetime exemption, it will count against the estate tax exemption for the heir, which could mean a substantial tax hit for their ultimate heirs (especially if the lifetime exemption amount is lowered when the current level expires). If the heir “disclaims” the inheritance, it’s not a gift, but it goes to the next heir in the will, not the disinherited relative.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/06/refuseinheritance.asp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who are saying the heir should “share” — it isn’t that simple. If the heir takes the inheritance and gives it to the disinherited relative, it’s considered to be a gift and is taxable (if it’s over the gift exemption limits). If it’s over the annual limit but under the lifetime exemption, it will count against the estate tax exemption for the heir, which could mean a substantial tax hit for their ultimate heirs (especially if the lifetime exemption amount is lowered when the current level expires). If the heir “disclaims” the inheritance, it’s not a gift, but it goes to the next heir in the will, not the disinherited relative.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/06/refuseinheritance.asp

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe my step parent has worked to have me (and possibly other children) disinherited. I can't say why on this board.

Has anyone ever experienced this? What happened and why?

I'm sad and angry - I've always been loving and accepting of my step parent and extended family. I don't know what hostility has caused this but it seems that after many decades of close family ties, someone's mind has changed.

And yes, I realize no one is entitled to someone else's money. I just can't imagine doing something like this.....

It happened to me. My father married the devil. She sought to extinguish all of his biological family from his life - and they got married in their 60s! He was a weak man and went along with it. Everything will eventually go to her trashy children. But they’ll all be reunited in hell one day, so they might as well enjoy it while they’re here on earth - they’re screwed for eternity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who are saying the heir should “share” — it isn’t that simple. If the heir takes the inheritance and gives it to the disinherited relative, it’s considered to be a gift and is taxable (if it’s over the gift exemption limits). If it’s over the annual limit but under the lifetime exemption, it will count against the estate tax exemption for the heir, which could mean a substantial tax hit for their ultimate heirs (especially if the lifetime exemption amount is lowered when the current level expires). If the heir “disclaims” the inheritance, it’s not a gift, but it goes to the next heir in the will, not the disinherited relative.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/06/refuseinheritance.asp

Give and pay tax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who are saying the heir should “share” — it isn’t that simple. If the heir takes the inheritance and gives it to the disinherited relative, it’s considered to be a gift and is taxable (if it’s over the gift exemption limits). If it’s over the annual limit but under the lifetime exemption, it will count against the estate tax exemption for the heir, which could mean a substantial tax hit for their ultimate heirs (especially if the lifetime exemption amount is lowered when the current level expires). If the heir “disclaims” the inheritance, it’s not a gift, but it goes to the next heir in the will, not the disinherited relative.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/06/refuseinheritance.asp

Give and pay tax.

That's absurd. Gift and estate tax is FORTY PERCENT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those who are saying the heir should “share” — it isn’t that simple. If the heir takes the inheritance and gives it to the disinherited relative, it’s considered to be a gift and is taxable (if it’s over the gift exemption limits). If it’s over the annual limit but under the lifetime exemption, it will count against the estate tax exemption for the heir, which could mean a substantial tax hit for their ultimate heirs (especially if the lifetime exemption amount is lowered when the current level expires). If the heir “disclaims” the inheritance, it’s not a gift, but it goes to the next heir in the will, not the disinherited relative.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/06/refuseinheritance.asp

Give and pay tax.

That's absurd. Gift and estate tax is FORTY PERCENT.

The sibling could contribute to kids' 529--no tax. They can gift within the allowable limits over time. You set up a plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those who are saying the heir should “share” — it isn’t that simple. If the heir takes the inheritance and gives it to the disinherited relative, it’s considered to be a gift and is taxable (if it’s over the gift exemption limits). If it’s over the annual limit but under the lifetime exemption, it will count against the estate tax exemption for the heir, which could mean a substantial tax hit for their ultimate heirs (especially if the lifetime exemption amount is lowered when the current level expires). If the heir “disclaims” the inheritance, it’s not a gift, but it goes to the next heir in the will, not the disinherited relative.

https://www.investopedia.com/articles/06/refuseinheritance.asp

The lifetime exemption is in the millions (like 11 million and it will still be in the lower millions when the 2017 tax revisions expire), very few estates are that large.

[Anonymous]

Lol, you can't undo something that never was given to you. If they money was inherited then taken away. That's disinherited. Plan your life without expecting a magical lottery

[Anonymous]

No, there are not inheritances in my family.

[Anonymous]

This happened in my family. One sibling was estranged for a very long time. I give this sibling money, but I have no requirement to do so. After my parent passed, she said she expected to be left hundreds of thousands of dollars. So while I do give some money, it’s unreal to me that she thinks she’d be entitled to anything - let alone something like that. No abuse. Nothing like that. She cut out almost everyone - cousins, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. this was incredibly painful for my parent. Why should my parent leave anything to someone who has cut them out for 15+ years? That’s dumb.

[Anonymous]

Read the story Obituary about the Casey trees lady. She got $200 million his kids got $1 million. Someone tried to kill her by planting a bomb in her car

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

Clearly step mom feels closer to her kids than her step kids, just like her step kids feel closer to their dad than to her.

You are misreading the post. The mom is the biological parent to all 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

Parents (and step parents) should not weaponize inheritance.

And yes, you would probably resent family who contributed to a mother cutting off half of her biological children (who helped her financially) from significant assets after their father died. I hate when people on this site pretend they are so above caring about certain things. It’s total BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no.

Who said anything about shouting the bill? Would you cut a sibling out of your life who inherited when you didn’t?

DP: I might if they didn't try to resolve the inequity or at least engage in conversation about it because that's a sign that they are fine with the situation. Depends on the prior relationship with the sibling. But I think I would find it hard to be chummy if they were just like, too bad I was mom's favorite. Might just be a christmas/birthday card/visit them if they are in the hospital kind of relationship after that.

Wow. So they received a gift (essentially) and because you didn’t, if they don’t right a perceived wrong committed by the gift giver, you’ll cut them out. Wow.

And you don’t really mean just engage in a conversation about it. Because if they did and offered you nothing, you’d - once again - not be okay with it.

Yep, because it's a pretty hard thing to deal with that your mother decided to put this wedge between you and your sibling--and that the sibling is okay with it persisting. Now if there was some convincing reason without offering me something--like the mom felt the sibling was needier, or that they had paid for more of my college or whatever. But if not, what's the tie then really? Stay tied to family who want to show that they loved the other sibling more and the sibling is fine with it? Doesn't sound like relationships I want to pour any significant effort into and I would be better off developing relationships with people who actually love and care about me.

[Anonymous]

So how do you handle this situation: Dad had two kids from previous marriage and one kid from new wife. Dad thinks all their assets should be split equally between his three kids. New wife disagrees and thinks her own assets should go to only her kid and only his assets should be split three ways. Dad is hurt by this.