Anyone Been Disinherited?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

Clearly step mom feels closer to her kids than her step kids, just like her step kids feel closer to their dad than to her.

[Anonymous]

Yes, by a 3rd spouse, and it was all so sleazy. She told me she is excited to buy her sibling a new house. B1tch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

[Anonymous]

DH and his brother were disinherited. His stepmom has always hated and resented them. She never had children and thinks they are evil because they acted like children when they were children. Finally convinced their dad to take them out of the will about ten years ago… DH has no resentment. We’re not entitled to their money and his dad is responsible for his own choices. BIL is still pissed about it but he’s more of a taker anyway.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the many reasons I like giving our adult kids money while we're alive rather than hoarding it all for an inheritance. Yes, I know I could make an estate plan that gave my kids money after my spouse dies, but it can get complicated. So I'd much rather let our kids know that instead of an inheritance we will pass on money as we are able for various points in life and that therefore there won't likely be much left after we're gone (We're not wealthy but comfortable). My spouse and I have agreed on amounts at different ages/life events and we have it set up that even if one of us dies first, our current wills leave the amounts remaining we agreed on for the kids and then the rest to the remaining spouse. This way, if one of us remarries after the other's death, the kids will received what we planned and promised, regardless of the influence of the any new spouses. We've recently made those plans and our wills reflect them. (I also put the kids as P.o.D. beneficiaries on relevant accounts in percentages to reflect this).

[Anonymous]

I was disinherited because of politics. My parents became crazy Trumpers. Not just voted for Trump for reasons, but as in, total kool aid drinkers. Actually said to me once, "black and white people cannot live together! But don't you DARE

[Anonymous]

sorry, hit submit too soon...

Don't you DARE call us racist!

They hate liberals so much that they are disinheriting all of their children - there are 7 of us between the marriages - and all of us kids are sane, normal people, not 24/7 Fox News watchers. And it's gotten even worst than Fox news in recent years because Fox is "too liberal" LOL!

[Anonymous]

My mom has threatened periodically over the years to leave all her money to the animal shelter. We are on good terms, but it's her money so, whatever. I've just planned that I will in fact get nothing, in which case it'll be a pleasant surprise if she happens to change her mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

Clearly step mom feels closer to her kids than her step kids, just like her step kids feel closer to their dad than to her.

I read it that they were all her biological children. One from her first marriage, and 3 from her second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no.

Who said anything about shouting the bill? Would you cut a sibling out of your life who inherited when you didn’t?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no.

Who said anything about shouting the bill? Would you cut a sibling out of your life who inherited when you didn’t?

DP: I might if they didn't try to resolve the inequity or at least engage in conversation about it because that's a sign that they are fine with the situation. Depends on the prior relationship with the sibling. But I think I would find it hard to be chummy if they were just like, too bad I was mom's favorite. Might just be a christmas/birthday card/visit them if they are in the hospital kind of relationship after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup. Mom always SAHM, was divorced w/ a child when she married my Dad. Then my parents had 3 children. Mom was jealous Dad's 1st son was his favorite, then me, Dad's oldest daughter. Mom's fav was her son (with previous husband) & youngest daughter (who may or not be my Dad's. After Dad passed, Mom changed the will so Dad's fav got 10% of the estate & if we either of us died, our spouses & children get nothing. Mom's son got 30% of estate, plus was executor + another account. Mom's fav daughter got 50%. But that wasn't all- Mom knew she was dying about a year before, and made "loans" to fav daughter, with no "payback provisions. And she changed the beneficiary on Dad's 401k & all brokerage accounts to her (we estimate over $10M, they were opened in early 70s) , so they never went through the estate.
While she was living Mom never had an issue asking either my brother or I for money because she was "short" & we never refused her. She would give us a list of what she wanted for a holiday gift- washer, dryer, TV, etc. AND we bought them, even if it meant a fight with our spouses.
Of course when the will was sent to us, after the funeral we were hurt & angry. Nothing we can do...except we will never speak to the two favs and there is no relationship between the grandchildren. And both of us apologized profusely to our spouses for everything that went on)
(And we retell this story as a precautionary tale. Although, funny when we told other relatives/ friends, they were shocked she would screw her own 2 children, but always thought she was sneaky person & not too nice).

I heard this happens more than you would think.

I'm sorry but you sound entitled
I would not cut out family just because we inherited unequally

I'm the pp above you, and don't consider myself entitled. My dad will die before my step mom and I would never expect her to give me $$. I know it will go to her kids. But, if my parents gave two kids the equivalent of $5m and two kids zero, yeah I would have a a hard time seeing them.

But the problem is with the parents fixing unequally. Not with the kids. So why cut out the kids and the grandkids

Because she can’t control her anger and bitterness.

I am not the pp who was in the situation, so it was perfectly hypothetical for me. I think I would feel more sad that I was completely cut out, and obviously it would depend on how siblings handled it. You're probably just a much better person than me. Getting left out of $10M would be hard. I mean going to dinner with them and having to split the bill, yeah no.

Who said anything about shouting the bill? Would you cut a sibling out of your life who inherited when you didn’t?

DP: I might if they didn't try to resolve the inequity or at least engage in conversation about it because that's a sign that they are fine with the situation. Depends on the prior relationship with the sibling. But I think I would find it hard to be chummy if they were just like, too bad I was mom's favorite. Might just be a christmas/birthday card/visit them if they are in the hospital kind of relationship after that.

Wow. So they received a gift (essentially) and because you didn’t, if they don’t right a perceived wrong committed by the gift giver, you’ll cut them out. Wow.

And you don’t really mean just engage in a conversation about it. Because if they did and offered you nothing, you’d - once again - not be okay with it.