Live in Nanny left in the middle of the night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something felt very unsafe to this nanny. No one does something like this without a valid reason.

Meh. Some people are immature and don't handle transitions or conflict well or get a better offer in this hot job market and then leave without any notice. It's not specific to nannies, but people do just ghost jobs these days. OP sounds like she wants to gossip about her "friend."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I never heard of that. Your friend must be a nightmare. Good for the nanny.

Why assume that?? Perhaps she was a crappy nanny/person. I would assume that successful people with big jobs are not a nightmare.
Someone who lives with families and works for $25/hour is more likely to be bad at decision making etc.

You must not actually know any successful people with big jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something felt very unsafe to this nanny. No one does something like this without a valid reason.

Meh. Some people are immature and don't handle transitions or conflict well or get a better offer in this hot job market and then leave without any notice. It's not specific to nannies, but people do just ghost jobs these days. OP sounds like she wants to gossip about her "friend."

My friend had a nanny who just didn't show up one day (not a live-in) because she get a new job that paid more, but they wanted her to start right away. The nanny felt bad about telling her boss in person that she couldn't give notice, so she just didn't show up. People are unprofessional sometimes.

[Anonymous]

So it could be that these are awful parents. Maybe the dad is sexually harassing the nanny. Maybe the mom screams at her. Maybe the parents beat their kids.

Or, it could be that the nanny is awful. Maybe she abused a kid and knows that is about to come out. Maybe she is a thief. Maybe she got filmed screaming at a kid at the park.

Impossible to know.

[Anonymous]

I think the parents need to have two live nannies going forward so if they lose one they can still go to work. That's too much for one person anyway .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I never heard of that. Your friend must be a nightmare. Good for the nanny.

Why assume that?? Perhaps she was a crappy nanny/person. I would assume that successful people with big jobs are not a nightmare.
Someone who lives with families and works for $25/hour is more likely to be bad at decision making etc.

Oh, dear child. You have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She might be sorry she burned that bridge if she ever needs a reference or verified employment history.

If it was so bad that she left in the middle of the night I doubt that she would use them as a reference...lol

[Anonymous]

My first assumption would be that the father was creepy and inappropriate. Right or wrong, I think that’s where most minds would go.

If you’re actually the “friend”, OP, I wouldn’t tell anyone that nanny left in the night and I’d never leave my husband alone with any nanny or in home help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I never heard of that. Your friend must be a nightmare. Good for the nanny.

Why assume that?? Perhaps she was a crappy nanny/person. I would assume that successful people with big jobs are not a nightmare.
Someone who lives with families and works for $25/hour is more likely to be bad at decision making etc.

Hahahaha. You must not know many “successful” people. The things that make them good at their jobs are the traits that make them wretched human beings and parents. How do you teach your kids to share, and be kind and compassionate when you’re a corporate shark whose job depends on screwing people as much as you can?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents have big jobs, long hours and quite a few little kids. It was too much work I guess.

if that’s all it was she would have told them that and given notice. There is more to this story.

That’s more than enough. They clearly overworked her. With 3 or more kids and a expectation to be ‘on’ 8 or more hours a day the family should have 2 nannies on rotation.

LOL!! Most women raised 3 or more kids all by themselves just one generation ago. Two or more nannies? LOL

And they weren't entertaining them all day. They left the kids in their cribs or playpens, or older ones just roamed the neighborhood until dark. That's not today's reality, especially for a nanny who is being paid to entertain the kids, shuttle them here and there, do laundry/cleaning, meals etc.

Sounds like the job was too much for one person and they need to hire 1-2 part time nannies to take over at the 8 hour mark. Staggering their schedules would probably help too.

[Anonymous]

PP here--they could also take the kids to the gym and put them in the childcare room there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents have big jobs, long hours and quite a few little kids. It was too much work I guess.

if that’s all it was she would have told them that and given notice. There is more to this story.

That’s more than enough. They clearly overworked her. With 3 or more kids and a expectation to be ‘on’ 8 or more hours a day the family should have 2 nannies on rotation.

LOL!! Most women raised 3 or more kids all by themselves just one generation ago. Two or more nannies? LOL

no they didn’t. They had a village. Today there is no more village unless you’re extremely lucky.

[Anonymous]

Our first nanny walked out as my husband was doing the morning hand-off. This was for one infant and the nanny was not exploited — rather, we insisted on paying her twice her asking wage and abided by all laws, such 1.5 times for overtime.

The nanny was brilliant and creative and lovely, but suffered a mental health crisis. She wound up moving in with her parents in upstate NY.

Whereas our first nanny was hired through a reference on MOTH, for our next nanny we went through White House Nannies — the extra vetting was well worth the hefty placement fee. And that nanny stayed with us five years, leaving only because she was starting her own family.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. A few thoughts:
First of all,
To anyone who thinks professionally successful people are generally fine upstanding people: LOL. Rich, successful people have just as much baggage as the rest of us, but their baggage is fed by the poor social skills of people who spent the first decade of their adult lives in competition for grades and test scores, AND the egocentric culture of most high-profile, high-net-worth industries.

As for this specific situation, There are basically two demographics of live-in nannies. There are the high-end nannies, usually with a degree in education, years of experience and often some additional special skills (e.g., sailing, fluent in French, etc.). These live in because they are expected to be extremely flexible and available. They are paid incredibly well. Then there are the nannies whose room and board is deducted from her wage. Often paid off the books. These are usually either very young American women or youngish, unmarried illegal immigrants. They are typically paid poorly and treated poorly.

If the nanny in question was in the latter group, she may have just been young and immature and not thinking about her reference. But for career nannies, my experience is that most nannies absolutely love their charges. Far more than a reference, we want to stay on good terms so that we can continue to see “our” kids. For most nannies to quit in this way, would definitely mean that there was something deeply dysfunctional going on in the house. Violence or sexual harassment come to mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does her contract say about paying back for the use of the room/food/utilities and whatever other perks?

I'm guessing youre hearing the 1-sided story.
Are you sure " left in the middle of the night" wasn't an embellishment? Maybe the Nanny left after she put the kids to bed/her shift was over, had a huge argument with the parents which she felt was the last straw, packed up her items, and by then it was 10/1030/maybe even 11pm...not as dramatic as the title of your post makes it seem.

Who would sign such a contract!

I could see some lawyer parents trying to get a nanny to sign a predatory contract. These parents were paying her well, nice room, van but I think they just dumped too much on her. They work a lot, go to gym daily, so it was long days for the nanny. The kids are a handful.

She left in middle of night which indicates fear. Maybe the dad tried to force himself on her. It was more than burn out.