For married people: how often do you think of an ex or "the one that got away"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot, but in fondness, no struggle. I’m glad to have the idea of that beautiful love to carry with me. We never had the struggles of “real life” and it give me a lot of fuel knowing that love itself is joyful.

same. I'll always love them and think of them fondly.

Are they non binary? Why not state their gender?

What is with the obsession on the gender of these responses?

DP. Because women want to know if they are remembered fondly with love or just as fodder in the mental spank bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot, but in fondness, no struggle. I’m glad to have the idea of that beautiful love to carry with me. We never had the struggles of “real life” and it give me a lot of fuel knowing that love itself is joyful.

same. I'll always love them and think of them fondly.

Are they non binary? Why not state their gender?

What is with the obsession on the gender of these responses?

"Obsession of gender"- what? Why are you so defensive?

PP, some people are weirdly cagey on here. Paranoia

+1. It's really odd. I guess they're afraid their wife is going to find their posts or something, based on one vague sentence. Strange...

[Anonymous]

The only real ex wasn't "the one that got away" because he was a nice, bland, first college boyfriend, but long-term we wouldn't have been a great couple. I think of him maybe once every few years, usually when I'm thinking about other things and other friends relateid to our college. And when he crosses my mind, .I just am grateful we were only a college boyfriend-girlfriend thing for maybe two years, and didn't try to do things like find grad schools near each other or move to the same city after college etc. etc. So glad I waited and found my now-husband later, after being just myself without attachments for a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot, but in fondness, no struggle. I’m glad to have the idea of that beautiful love to carry with me. We never had the struggles of “real life” and it give me a lot of fuel knowing that love itself is joyful.

same. I'll always love them and think of them fondly.

Are they non binary? Why not state their gender?

[Anonymous]

Yes, although it's gotten better over time. I used to compare my wife to her a lot, although now I've accepted that that's part of my past and my wife is my future.

[Anonymous]

Man, single but dating someone. Think about the gf who got away every day.

[Anonymous]

Very rarely. Mostly, I think about my kids and my job and the logistics of how I’m going to get a, b, and c done and what to make for dinner.

It’s rare that I think about sex and romance with my spouse, let alone someone I haven’t seen in a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One ex I think of on occasion when it comes to sexual fantasy. Although I ran into her a year ago and she doesn't look that good so that unfortunately killed the fantasy.

What changed?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On a related note, how often do you meet someone and think "wow, if we weren't in our respective situations in life, we could have a great relationship."

Happened only once in my life.

[Anonymous]

A lot.

[Anonymous]

A lot but it's more than one.


The one that got away--I would have had a completely different life with. I think about him a lot but I don't know why--can yuo be in love with someone's mind? He would have been a crap husband.
Then there are the two I had lots of good sex with--I miss the sex and the fun times, not the guys.

I had a full dating life before getting married.

[Anonymous]

Not often; Did yesterday when first college boyfriend walked by at a concert and went to sit with his wife, who he dated after me. I was seated behind them. Certainly observed while I enjoyed the concert. Could not really avoid seeing. Did not go up to him or message him on social media today. Did not think about again until I saw this post.

[Anonymous]

When I was married I thought about a few exes a lot. Daily

Now I am divorced and with someone much better suited to me and I never think about them.

[Anonymous]

I only think about ex husband when something happens in life that makes me so grateful for my current husband. My ex traumatized me, so I have flashbacks when something triggers me.