Middle aged dating is trash!

[Anonymous]

Why don’t people get set up anymore, or meet off the apps?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who do you date?

Probably younger than middle aged women

Honestly, I’m a divorced middle aged woman and it is easier to date younger men for companionship and sex but not LTRs. I’m not looking to get married so this works well for me. OP, are you looking to get married again? If not, go on dates with younger guys. Less baggage , fun, less bitterness etc

I’m 47 and date younger. I’ve never married and I’m open to a LTR, but the men my age and older have so much baggage and seem so old. There’s no shortage of hot, charming men in their thirties who want to spend time with me. If that’s because it’s just for short term fun, well, most of the men 45+ don’t want anything serious either. I might as well have a good time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

I might be interested if he was not in NY. Once a week is fine but I am not available on the same day every week. 50 might give me pause though. I am 44. I have only dated men 36-40.

I’d love a once a weeker if he’s interested in trying out a slightly older lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is 30 and complains to me about dating a lot, and she has similar complaints to those raised in this thread. I think it's 1) just the nature of dating, you don't know someone sucks until you do; 2) the nature of online dating, you don't have anyone screening people the way you did back when people got set up.

I am
58, but have single friebds from 39 to 65 and we all have problems meeting quality men. We vary in size, race, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tall, in shape, mid-50s male. Mid-six figures income.

I did well in the dating pool after divorce. Now settled down with a smart, pretty, athletic woman who is my age.

If you bring something to the table, whether intelligence, looks, financial stability, or a combination, you’ll be fine. If you are still bitter about your divorce, you won’t be.

Yeah, but didn't you both bring that to the table the first time around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is 30 and complains to me about dating a lot, and she has similar complaints to those raised in this thread. I think it's 1) just the nature of dating, you don't know someone sucks until you do; 2) the nature of online dating, you don't have anyone screening people the way you did back when people got set up.

I am
58, but have single friebds from 39 to 65 and we all have problems meeting quality men. We vary in size, race, etc.

The fact is that eligible women outnumber eligible men.
At every point in my adult life, I have known dozens of fantastic single women who wanted to meet someone. Most of the women who coupled up settled.

There have never been enough good men to go around and the gap keeps getting larger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just here to vent. Newly divorced and I don’t know what’s worst my Helier marriage or what the dating scene has morphed into since I was last on the market. It seems in middle age there are so many left over duds one has to sift through, and it’s exhausting. As soon as I think it’s going somewhere with someone….bam….their horrible characteristic shows itself and I’m made keenly aware why they are single at 50. My latest shit show was a man a man who shared he believes once a girl has her period she is old enough to consent to sex with a grown man, because God gave her a period for a reason. How very awesome and classy.

Wow. Just wow.

My exact reaction! BTW, I was 11 and still playing with Barbies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is 30 and complains to me about dating a lot, and she has similar complaints to those raised in this thread. I think it's 1) just the nature of dating, you don't know someone sucks until you do; 2) the nature of online dating, you don't have anyone screening people the way you did back when people got set up.

I am
58, but have single friebds from 39 to 65 and we all have problems meeting quality men. We vary in size, race, etc.

The fact is that eligible women outnumber eligible men.
At every point in my adult life, I have known dozens of fantastic single women who wanted to meet someone. Most of the women who coupled up settled.

There have never been enough good men to go around and the gap keeps getting larger.

This. It's like the current housing market. You can have a very good personal picture, but there is just not a lot of inventory at this age. And what there is is near a highway, or has a small kitchen; and even then it is still costly. Many people just decide to become renters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is 30 and complains to me about dating a lot, and she has similar complaints to those raised in this thread. I think it's 1) just the nature of dating, you don't know someone sucks until you do; 2) the nature of online dating, you don't have anyone screening people the way you did back when people got set up.

I am
58, but have single friebds from 39 to 65 and we all have problems meeting quality men. We vary in size, race, etc.

The fact is that eligible women outnumber eligible men.
At every point in my adult life, I have known dozens of fantastic single women who wanted to meet someone. Most of the women who coupled up settled.

There have never been enough good men to go around and the gap keeps getting larger.

This. It's like the current housing market. You can have a very good personal picture, but there is just not a lot of inventory at this age. And what there is is near a highway, or has a small kitchen; and even then it is still costly. Many people just decide to become renters.

This! Meanwhile the people who got on the ladder years ago and refinanced at historic lows are sitting pretty and just keep watching the benefits compound, while your single self has compounding losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

No true. I did not think I would have much luck. Fortunately, I was wrong. I have had no problem meeting decent men. I am mid 40s but look younger.

Where/how are you meeting them? I"m in a similar situation but wasn't good at meeting men even when I was younger and it's certainly not easier now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

Women don't initiate divorces because they think they'll do better. They do it because they would rather be single than stay with their ex.

100%

Many of them think that until they actually are single, the man has moved on an started a ew family and they are still alone and their kids are messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

He needs to date a 50ish woman to retire about same time. My exH was 11 years younger: 40-45 and 50-55 feel totally different in energy levels, aspirations etc. I wanted to hike, try different career path, travel for work and take our son for travel competitions. He wanted to read newspapers and take care of the garden, getting ready for his retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

200K in New York is near poverty, with high tax rates and rents. He needs to move to DMV to be more successful with ladies as his current financial situation is not very impressive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

Women don't initiate divorces because they think they'll do better. They do it because they would rather be single than stay with their ex.

100%

Many of them think that until they actually are single, the man has moved on an started a ew family and they are still alone and their kids are messed up.

I am not suffering a single day without my ex, and dont' care whom he married. I know his character well enough to understand that this person cannot truly love anybody. Women are tools for him, and he doesn't respect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

No true. I did not think I would have much luck. Fortunately, I was wrong. I have had no problem meeting decent men. I am mid 40s but look younger.

Where/how are you meeting them? I"m in a similar situation but wasn't good at meeting men even when I was younger and it's certainly not easier now.

Easier now than in my 20s. I only have time for Bumble. There are some duds but I have met nice, successful men, too.