Middle aged dating is trash!

[Anonymous]

Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

No true. I did not think I would have much luck. Fortunately, I was wrong. I have had no problem meeting decent men. I am mid 40s but look younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

Women don't initiate divorces because they think they'll do better. They do it because they would rather be single than stay with their ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

I might be interested if he was not in NY. Once a week is fine but I am not available on the same day every week. 50 might give me pause though. I am 44. I have only dated men 36-40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, what did you expect?? These single old guys have been thrown back by their wives not because they have redeeming qualities. They are defective. Stay single, join a book club, get a toy for a boyfriend.

So divorced middle age women are damaged and defective too, right?

Yes, of course, many of them are. Women are more likely to initiate divorce though, which leads to there being more undesirable men on the middle aged market.

The divorces are initiated by women who wildly overestimate their value on the dating market. Thus there are at least as many undesirable middle aged women out there, if not more.

Women don't initiate divorces because they think they'll do better. They do it because they would rather be single than stay with their ex.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tall, in shape, mid-50s male. Mid-six figures income.

I did well in the dating pool after divorce. Now settled down with a smart, pretty, athletic woman who is my age.

If you bring something to the table, whether intelligence, looks, financial stability, or a combination, you’ll be fine. If you are still bitter about your divorce, you won’t be.

I am a 40s woman and make close to 200 myself. I don’t find that salary impressive…and quite frankly, I do not care at all about a man’s salary. I am not remarrying. Mentioning that income at mid 50s is an odd thing to mention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tall, in shape, mid-50s male. Mid-six figures income.

I did well in the dating pool after divorce. Now settled down with a smart, pretty, athletic woman who is my age.

If you bring something to the table, whether intelligence, looks, financial stability, or a combination, you’ll be fine. If you are still bitter about your divorce, you won’t be.

I am a 40s woman and make close to 200 myself. I don’t find that salary impressive…and quite frankly, I do not care at all about a man’s salary. I am not remarrying. Mentioning that income at mid 50s is an odd thing to mention.

It's not odd when you plan to date sugar babies/gold diggers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tall, in shape, mid-50s male. Mid-six figures income.

I did well in the dating pool after divorce. Now settled down with a smart, pretty, athletic woman who is my age.

If you bring something to the table, whether intelligence, looks, financial stability, or a combination, you’ll be fine. If you are still bitter about your divorce, you won’t be.

I am a 40s woman and make close to 200 myself. I don’t find that salary impressive…and quite frankly, I do not care at all about a man’s salary. I am not remarrying. Mentioning that income at mid 50s is an odd thing to mention.

It's not odd when you plan to date sugar babies/gold diggers.

You have a point! (That would not be me)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

I might be interested if he was not in NY. Once a week is fine but I am not available on the same day every week. 50 might give me pause though. I am 44. I have only dated men 36-40.

I'm also 44. Used to date much older men, but now the 26-40-year olds come up to me and I like it.
Just looked through bunch of profiles for guys age 40-50 on match and they all look old. OP, find him someone 50+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

I’m 46, single and looking for the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just here to vent. Newly divorced and I don’t know what’s worst my Helier marriage or what the dating scene has morphed into since I was last on the market. It seems in middle age there are so many left over duds one has to sift through, and it’s exhausting. As soon as I think it’s going somewhere with someone….bam….their horrible characteristic shows itself and I’m made keenly aware why they are single at 50. My latest shit show was a man a man who shared he believes once a girl has her period she is old enough to consent to sex with a grown man, because God gave her a period for a reason. How very awesome and classy.

This is odd for a men or a women, but I also would have never hooked up with someone who talks about god like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Who do you date?

Probably younger than middle aged women

Honestly, I’m a divorced middle aged woman and it is easier to date younger men for companionship and sex but not LTRs. I’m not looking to get married so this works well for me. OP, are you looking to get married again? If not, go on dates with younger guys. Less baggage , fun, less bitterness etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
From what I read, it appears online dating is a marathon, not a sprint, and that people of all ages need to wade through tons of profiles and have many imperfect dates before finding a good match.

+1

It’s not really helpful to go into dating with the idea that anyone single is a loser.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is 30 and complains to me about dating a lot, and she has similar complaints to those raised in this thread. I think it's 1) just the nature of dating, you don't know someone sucks until you do; 2) the nature of online dating, you don't have anyone screening people the way you did back when people got set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Texting right now with my best male friend. Love this man. I’m married. If I wasn’t… He’s gorgeous, 50ish looks 40 (no joke). Widower who raised two kids. He’s an empty nester. Recently single after a long term relationship. He doesn’t use dating apps. He also doesn’t mix business with pleasure. He wants my advice about a couple of irons in the fire. He’s in DMV weekly. Home base is NY. It was an interesting conversation because he doesn’t want a a hookup, nor a serious relationship right now but I know him better than he knows himself. He loves being in a relationship. He turned down a 34 yo recently.. Seems like 40-45 is perfect no? I feel like playing matchmaker here.

I might be interested if he was not in NY. Once a week is fine but I am not available on the same day every week. 50 might give me pause though. I am 44. I have only dated men 36-40.

You’re 44 and 50 would give you pause? It’s only 6 years older than you. That seems nuts.