SIngle Mother and her toddler just moved in with me

[Anonymous]

OP if this post is for real, you are a SUCKER. You are being PLAYED. Do not bang this chick or you will end up paying for another kid as well as her current demon spawn. Disengage from her asap. You have been warned!

[Anonymous]

This might be the most disturbing post I have read on DCUM.

This woman needs help but not from you.

If you want to help her help her find a steady job and a place to live with a set deadline to move out .

You can benefit from therapy yourself since you don't see why this situation is not healthy for anyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some of you people are really ignorant and stupid. there's nothing creepy about the situation. i am helping out a friend, and I'm starting to care about her as more than a friend, simple as that! Jesus Christ.

IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO CONTRIBUTE THEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OPINIONS TO YOURSELF! it blows my mind how stupid and ignorant so many people are. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX OR AND INSTANT FAMILY! God people are stupid!! this is a desperate girl who had nothing, she cry's on my shoulder when she has her moments, texts me all day long, always wants to know what I'm doing and when I'm coming home. wants to have dinner with me every night, wants to watch tv with me, and about 6 of her girlfriends come to see her a few times a week. they all know me well.

we never dated before, i didnt start to have feelings for her until after she moved in. i dont hit on her, i dont make comments, i leave the room if she's breast feeding, she's giving me mixed signals I'm quietly trying to deal with my new feelings for her. and I'm not asking her for anything, I'm not giving her ultimatums. this is not about sex!. i want something real with this girl if there is an option.

also, if she wants nothing but a friendship then thats fine. i am just trying to understand what she might want. i enjoy her company, her kid is great. she's just giving me mixed signals.

she's getting a jog
her kid will be in day care
she will start paying rent in a month or so. she came to me with nothing.

Wait until she’s independent and see if you still have the crush.

I’m not saying this is the situation, but some men have a thing for women they rescue. When the women doesn’t need them anymore they don’t feel the same pull. Was your mom independent or did she grow up as a single mom who needed help but didn’t get it? You might be reliving an old issue here. Only reason I’m saying that is because you write at such length about her problems, crying, bad things that happened to her — and nothing about what you actually like in her or why you think the relationship should work. It sounds like a fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP wrote: IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO CONTRIBUTE THEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OPINIONS TO YOURSELF! it blows my mind how stupid and ignorant so many people are. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX OR AND INSTANT FAMILY! God people are stupid!!

and also OP wrote:i am playing the daddy her kid needs and i am playing caregiver. which i am happy to do, she is a good girl. but i want more. the woman and family i always wanted is in my face and i cant have it. i can only pretend

Hmmmmm.

The “she is a good girl” part creeps me out. He so obviously sees her as a pet and not a human.

[Anonymous]

She needs to work on herself instead of finding a replacement for the previous partner.

It's a pretty bad idea to get involved with someone like this - your life will be irrevocably altered by an immature woman who has your baby.

[Anonymous]

wow I feel like I jumped from dcum to Reddit. so oy. what a mess. Listen - you did a good thing. You may have saved their lives. for everyone’s sake you need to step up here and let this woman be. She’s needs to heal and recover and oh! She has a baby! Be her friend. But also lay low to be a friend to yourself.

[Anonymous]

I guarantee if this woman sticks around as “just a friend” either or both of these will happen:

1. OP will meet someone else and this woman will suddenly start flirting again as she fears her meal ticket is getting lost. Or the new woman will just independently nope out of there.
2. The woman will if she’s still living there start bringing new guys over. Unpleasant activity follows especially if these new guys legit start trouble with OP.

[Anonymous]

Wait a few months and you’ll find out she’s still banging the husband…

[Anonymous]

This is so hot mess, on both your parts; I really look forward to finding out what will ensure on the next episode.

If you want to win her over, keep paying the bills and feeding into her drama. She’ll probably sleep with you once she’s determined where she stands currently with baby daddy. While no one deserves to be abused, she’s at least somewhat responsible for the chaos in her own life if she was with him and sending you nudes. Such things do not a “good girl” make. She might have other guys that she’s popping in and out of the woodwork with, too, and that may impact whether she sleeps with you sooner or later.

So, if you want to get her into bed, keep doing what you’re doing by paying for things and treating her like a princess. Even if she gets a job to pay her way, You may want to go on a few dates with other women so she will worry that your role as stand in father to her is coming to an end.

Keep us posted…!

[Anonymous]

OP, in the one and a million chance this is real, and you have honest feelings about her, then give her time and space to heal and become independent. Help her get on her feet and into her own life with no expectations. Do it because it’s the right thing to do to help a friend. The ending will work itself out.

[Anonymous]

No, op, a single mom and her toddler didn’t “just move in with you”, you had the time, money, and desire to rent an apartment for the three of you to live comfortably in, probably a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment which aren’t cheap. You had to seek out, apply and have enough money on hand to cover first and last month’s rent. Did you put this woman on the lease when you signed it? Probably not. How did you get out of your current lease, did you pay the lease-break fee or just skip out? I ask because I guarantee you that this woman didn’t contact you when your lease was up and you were just happening to be looking for a 2 bed 2 bath apartment.

As for the naked pics, you may not have asked for them, but you accepted them. You didn’t tell her to stop sending them, and you liked the pics so much you made it easy and comfortable for her and her kid to live with you.

Know that if she had her old boyfriend arrested, she’ll have you arrested too and since you are an unrelated male, she may not hesitate to have you arrested for abusing or molesting her kid. I’d at least be thinking of that possibility, especially if you are alone with the child and the child does or says something that makes her uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean you did anything, it just means she knows how to have men arrested, there’s no reason she wouldn’t have you arrested if you displeased her, and if she’s smart, and I think she is, she’ll pin a molestation accusation on you, or maybe a rape allegation, take your pick. Either way, she can have you excluded from your legal rental at least for a little while. All that should scare the hell out of you even if you don’t think she’ll find another guy she can send nudes to while she’s in a relationship with you, a relationship you seem to still want for whatever reason.


Don’t think for a minute the baby daddy doesn’t know where she is, or that he won’t find out, and that he doesn’t have legal rights to his child. He does.. until he signs away his rights or until the courts get involved, meaning you can’t legally keep him away from his kid no matter how much your friend fusses, cries and tells you what a bad man he is.. which he may be.

If this woman wanted a family with you, she’d marry you Monday as soon as the courthouse is open. She wouldn’t send you nudes then turn off the sex possibility the week she moved in.. which she didn’t as I explained above. Life may have had its way with her more then it should have, but life also provides love and acceptance, something you are offering her, and which she is spurning. Be aware of that. You are offering her the life she claims she wants only to have her say “no”. She knows how to keep you on the hook, op.

Be aware she had more support with her kid then you realize, the kid wasn’t in the pictures when she posed naked for you, was he? He has some spoiled habits that didn’t come from her.. so where did they come from? Think about what you’re writing, op.

Do what you want, just don’t expect the toad to turn into a princess. Don’t expect the rent money either, her job will “fall through”, daycare will “not work out” something will go wrong.

[Anonymous]

You are in your own words "playing" daddy and caregiver. This is not playtime. Get this woman and her child out of your home and find someone who is emotionally and legally available if you are mature enough to do the real work of building a relationship and family.

[Anonymous]

OP maybe you have developed feelings for her because you like the role she has allowed you to fill - the protector, the caregiver, the supporter, the safe place etc. It’s normal to develop feelings for people, especially in an emotionally charged situation. That’s why I would do absolutely nothing until she has moved out and is able to support herself. Otherwise you’re both getting caught up in the emotional moment. And since you have the power advantage in this situation, you need to be the bigger person and resist your temptation to start a relationship with this literally poor and homeless and desperate woman. And why can’t she stay with one of her 6 great girlfriends. Would they put her out on the street? If you had written on here before you moved her in we would have all told you not to! Now she’s moved in so you need to suck it up and keep your parts in your pants. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

She probably sent nudes to a handful of guys and you were the one who took the bait

[Anonymous]

If you have sex, wear condoms