SIngle Mother and her toddler just moved in with me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some of you people are really ignorant and stupid. there's nothing creepy about the situation. i am helping out a friend, and I'm starting to care about her as more than a friend, simple as that! Jesus Christ.

IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO CONTRIBUTE THEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OPINIONS TO YOURSELF! it blows my mind how stupid and ignorant so many people are. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX OR AND INSTANT FAMILY! God people are stupid!! this is a desperate girl who had nothing, she cry's on my shoulder when she has her moments, texts me all day long, always wants to know what I'm doing and when I'm coming home. wants to have dinner with me every night, wants to watch tv with me, and about 6 of her girlfriends come to see her a few times a week. they all know me well.

we never dated before, i didnt start to have feelings for her until after she moved in. i dont hit on her, i dont make comments, i leave the room if she's breast feeding, she's giving me mixed signals I'm quietly trying to deal with my new feelings for her. and I'm not asking her for anything, I'm not giving her ultimatums. this is not about sex!. i want something real with this girl if there is an option.

also, if she wants nothing but a friendship then thats fine. i am just trying to understand what she might want. i enjoy her company, her kid is great. she's just giving me mixed signals.

she's getting a jog
her kid will be in day care
she will start paying rent in a month or so. she came to me with nothing.

very strange dude. why not just get a girlfriend without a kid?

[Anonymous]

A baby cannot have “spoiled brat” habits. Wtf is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

my wife's son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need therapy. She is in a bad situation, and you are trying to take advantage of her vulnerability to make her your girlfriend.

Stop.

Give her space to heal, and when she's ready to move out on her own, let her.

THIS. She needs help, not a creeper who wants to manipulate the situation for sex and an Instant Family.

your stupid

[Anonymous]

Why do you want to "win her over?" You two lived together when she was single and childless. There were no romantic sparks then? Now after she gets involved with a "loser" and has a child you want to get with her? Why was she sending you nudes while she was in a relationship (even if it was abusive) with someone else?

She sounds like a hot mess. She has no other support, which is unusual for women. Forget about winning her over. Try to help her get on her feet somewhat, you don't want to just dump her on the street, and then steer clear of you.

She may be vulnerable but she knows how to manipulate you into helping her out.

[Anonymous]

This woman does not sound like she is emotionally ready for a relationship at all.

She has just been through the wringer due to her past relationship & she and her son need to take the time to fully heal first.

You should have the mindset right now that even if she changed her mind + agreed to date you - in reality she should not.

She sounds like she has been very traumatized so give her all the space that she requests.

And honestly on your end > you likely would not want to take on allocation her emotional baggage as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A baby cannot have “spoiled brat” habits. Wtf is wrong with you?

your stupid as well, the kid is use to getting what ever he wants, like a spoiled brat because she had no choice but to give him everything he wants to keep him quite because the baby daddy would scream at her to keep the kid quiet. which is why i said they are correctable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to "win her over?" You two lived together when she was single and childless. There were no romantic sparks then? Now after she gets involved with a "loser" and has a child you want to get with her? Why was she sending you nudes while she was in a relationship (even if it was abusive) with someone else?

She sounds like a hot mess. She has no other support, which is unusual for women. Forget about winning her over. Try to help her get on her feet somewhat, you don't want to just dump her on the street, and then steer clear of you.

She may be vulnerable but she knows how to manipulate you into helping her out.

i would never dump her on the street if she didnt want me, shes a good woman. and i am helping her get on her feet. she was young and immature, shes grown up so much since she had a child, before she was a care free kid and all i cared about was getting the rent check then

[Anonymous]

Wow. After reading OP’s replies with the excessive use of all caps and repeatedly calling people stupid, I’m pretty sure his friend has just found herself with another abusive man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This woman does not sound like she is emotionally ready for a relationship at all.

She has just been through the wringer due to her past relationship & she and her son need to take the time to fully heal first.

You should have the mindset right now that even if she changed her mind + agreed to date you - in reality she should not.

She sounds like she has been very traumatized so give her all the space that she requests.

And honestly on your end > you likely would not want to take on allocation her emotional baggage as well.

i know she is traumatized, i can see it. i care about her, but I'm not selfish. i am trying to do the right thing, i can bury my feelings. i just dont want to miss an opportunity, I'm not very good at reading signals

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:some of you people are really ignorant and stupid. there's nothing creepy about the situation. i am helping out a friend, and I'm starting to care about her as more than a friend, simple as that! Jesus Christ.

IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO CONTRIBUTE THEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OPINIONS TO YOURSELF! it blows my mind how stupid and ignorant so many people are. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX OR AND INSTANT FAMILY! God people are stupid!! this is a desperate girl who had nothing, she cry's on my shoulder when she has her moments, texts me all day long, always wants to know what I'm doing and when I'm coming home. wants to have dinner with me every night, wants to watch tv with me, and about 6 of her girlfriends come to see her a few times a week. they all know me well.

we never dated before, i didnt start to have feelings for her until after she moved in. i dont hit on her, i dont make comments, i leave the room if she's breast feeding, she's giving me mixed signals I'm quietly trying to deal with my new feelings for her. and I'm not asking her for anything, I'm not giving her ultimatums. this is not about sex!. i want something real with this girl if there is an option.

also, if she wants nothing but a friendship then thats fine. i am just trying to understand what she might want. i enjoy her company, her kid is great. she's just giving me mixed signals.

she's getting a jog
her kid will be in day care
she will start paying rent in a month or so. she came to me with nothing.

Mixed signals? Dude this isn’t hard to figure out. She wanted someone to rescue her and she’s playing the role of girlfriend to keep you interested and ensure you keep taking care of her. I did this myself when I left an abusive husband, latched onto the first guy who showed me any interest then bailed later on when I realized I didn’t have feelings for *him*, I just wanted a way out.

Trust me, I went through this myself, what she needs is to become independent. Support her as a friend, but know that her feelings for you aren’t genuine, and everyone here is right that you should not get involved.

Treat her the exact same way you would a male friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. After reading OP’s replies with the excessive use of all caps and repeatedly calling people stupid, I’m pretty sure his friend has just found herself with another abusive man.

oh yeah, you got me all figured Einstein. welcome to butt hurt America, dont open your mouth unless you know what your talking about, do you need your emotional support animal and some healing time after reading this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is everyone just going to gloss over the fact that she tried to manipulate him by sending nudes?

Either way, you are in a mess. I don't mean to sound heartless, but you need to get her out of your house as quickly as you can. IF she only wants friendship, you need to accept it and move on. IT won't be easy with her in the house while you get attached to her kid.

She did not necessarily try to manipulate him. She may have been in a better place 4 months ago and not as traumatized as she is now. Maybe she thought that she was over her ex then and ready to date. It's possible that her ex got really possessive when he realized she was starting to date again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:some of you people are really ignorant and stupid. there's nothing creepy about the situation. i am helping out a friend, and I'm starting to care about her as more than a friend, simple as that! Jesus Christ.

IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING HELPFUL TO CONTRIBUTE THEN KEEP YOUR BULLSHIT OPINIONS TO YOURSELF! it blows my mind how stupid and ignorant so many people are. THIS IS NOT ABOUT SEX OR AND INSTANT FAMILY! God people are stupid!! this is a desperate girl who had nothing, she cry's on my shoulder when she has her moments, texts me all day long, always wants to know what I'm doing and when I'm coming home. wants to have dinner with me every night, wants to watch tv with me, and about 6 of her girlfriends come to see her a few times a week. they all know me well.

we never dated before, i didnt start to have feelings for her until after she moved in. i dont hit on her, i dont make comments, i leave the room if she's breast feeding, she's giving me mixed signals I'm quietly trying to deal with my new feelings for her. and I'm not asking her for anything, I'm not giving her ultimatums. this is not about sex!. i want something real with this girl if there is an option.

also, if she wants nothing but a friendship then thats fine. i am just trying to understand what she might want. i enjoy her company, her kid is great. she's just giving me mixed signals.

she's getting a jog
her kid will be in day care
she will start paying rent in a month or so. she came to me with nothing.

Mixed signals? Dude this isn’t hard to figure out. She wanted someone to rescue her and she’s playing the role of girlfriend to keep you interested and ensure you keep taking care of her. I did this myself when I left an abusive husband, latched onto the first guy who showed me any interest then bailed later on when I realized I didn’t have feelings for *him*, I just wanted a way out.

Trust me, I went through this myself, what she needs is to become independent. Support her as a friend, but know that her feelings for you aren’t genuine, and everyone here is right that you should not get involved.

Treat her the exact same way you would a male friend.

thank you, see now this is helpful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is everyone just going to gloss over the fact that she tried to manipulate him by sending nudes?

Either way, you are in a mess. I don't mean to sound heartless, but you need to get her out of your house as quickly as you can. IF she only wants friendship, you need to accept it and move on. IT won't be easy with her in the house while you get attached to her kid.

She did not necessarily try to manipulate him. She may have been in a better place 4 months ago and not as traumatized as she is now. Maybe she thought that she was over her ex then and ready to date. It's possible that her ex got really possessive when he realized she was starting to date again.

i dont feel manipulated, and i am ok if she truly just wants to be friends. i just didnt want to stop living my normal life as if nothing had changed, if there is something there on her end, and she's just playing hard to get. i also feel she's traumatized and confused and is unsure what she wants, or maybe she wants something but knows she's not ready.

she also seems to loose interest in the conversation if i mention another girl, friend or otherwise