Small details that make a person seem more youthful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

You do know that saying "smidge" gives away your age, right?

The issue this person’s post misses is that navigating through perimenopause and menopause is the hardest part for women. Me at 42 is totally different than me at 48. It is horrible.

Right?! I was probably at my hottest at 42 and that PP seems to think she is doing awesome for being so “old.”

Hang in there 48-year old PP, you’re probably in the worst of it right now - it gets better.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP who say it’s the way you move. Sprightly, agile, carefree. So regular physical activity is a good idea.

Then glowing skin, no dark circles. So retinol, good sleep.

I think sweatpants, tracksuits, athletic type wear also looks young. But maybe because people are bouncy in their gear.

[Anonymous]

Well moisturized hair - doesn’t have to be a particular types of hair, but frizzy dried hair from too much product/styling/processing makes you look older.

Soft shiny hair is youthful

[Anonymous]

moisturized skin (especially hands, legs, face)
straight, white teeth (especially lower teeth that move in 40s)
bright whites of eyes
no facial hair/peach fuzz
full eyebrows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

You do know that saying "smidge" gives away your age, right?

The issue this person’s post misses is that navigating through perimenopause and menopause is the hardest part for women. Me at 42 is totally different than me at 48. It is horrible.

Right?! I was probably at my hottest at 42 and that PP seems to think she is doing awesome for being so “old.”

Hang in there 48-year old PP, you’re probably in the worst of it right now - it gets better.

And mid 50s is totally different than late 40s/50…just you wait. I was looking damn good at 50 (hadn’t hit menopause or close to it)…56 is a different world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

pp I know you've gotten some snarky responses here but I for one appreciate this detailed response since I largely agree with your points as well.
One question: which are some good brands that have the kind of high rise straight leg jeans that you're talking about? I have never found one that was quite comfortable enough for me (ex. I want as much stretch as possible but prefer jeans to look regular non-stretch)? Any models/ brands you recommend for a 40yo?

[Anonymous]

I think hair and skin are pretty important indicators of age. I’m a white 45-yr old woman who works in a high school. I often get a surprised response when coworkers find out I have a 17-yr old daughter. I have no idea how old they think I am, but younger than 45! I don’t have any gray hair and grew up in the Pacific Northwest, so although I have crows feet, I don’t have sun damage on my face, neck or chest. Maybe I pass for 40? Whatever, I’ll take it!

[Anonymous]

Age is in the knees. Walking fast with good posture and jumping up and down off street curbs (instead of pausing and hefting oneself up and down while grunting or panting/sighing) shaves decades from how one appears. Bonus points if done in heels (sorry flat-shoe loving earth muffins). Knowing current events and technology. Judging less. Knowing when to talk and when to shut up. Wit and laughter- even at low brow humour. Lighten the f*ck up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys it isn’t about attitude. It’s about skincare. Botox helps, but also just having a good routine that’s more elaborate then you had when you were younger.

Not for me. Lots of people think I'm way younger in large part because I lack the poise that older people have, and I laugh a lot. I also have curly, sort of care-free hair, and I dress casual.

Granted I'm only 39 and I assume this will change quickly, but right now people typically assume my daughter and I are sisters.

I do also think inner corner highlight helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age is in the knees. Walking fast with good posture and jumping up and down off street curbs (instead of pausing and hefting oneself up and down while grunting or panting/sighing) shaves decades from how one appears. Bonus points if done in heels (sorry flat-shoe loving earth muffins). Knowing current events and technology. Judging less. Knowing when to talk and when to shut up. Wit and laughter- even at low brow humour. Lighten the f*ck up.

Lol. I have been wearing flats since age 20, no plans to stop now. Also knowing what to talk vs not comes with the wisdom of getting older…so does wit. This post makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

You do know that saying "smidge" gives away your age, right?

The issue this person’s post misses is that navigating through perimenopause and menopause is the hardest part for women. Me at 42 is totally different than me at 48. It is horrible.

Right?! I was probably at my hottest at 42 and that PP seems to think she is doing awesome for being so “old.”

Hang in there 48-year old PP, you’re probably in the worst of it right now - it gets better.

And mid 50s is totally different than late 40s/50…just you wait. I was looking damn good at 50 (hadn’t hit menopause or close to it)…56 is a different world.

Ugh, sorry. Aging is so cruel in so many ways. I’m 43 now but I am pretty sure I’ll be getting a facelift in my mid 50s. And maybe a touch up in my mid 70s. 😜

[Anonymous]

I look young for my age. I work at a hotel, and people are surprised when I mention I have two children. Some have asked if I drive and live with my parents, but I am 34. I wear a uniform to work. Anyway, I think it's genetics. I have thick eyebrows and good hair. I am thin. It could be my voice. My advice is to have more natural eyebrows. I don't pluck under my eyebrows, for example. I am just now starting to wear lipstick. Expensive bags also make you look older. I guess it depends on the rest of your outfit. My bags have always been low-key. I wear flat shoes 100 percent of the time because I use orthotics. I have lots of joint pain, so the inside of my body feels old! I'd rather look and feel my age vs. look younger but feel like an 80-year-old.

[Anonymous]

No idea. But I'm a middle aged woman that gets mistaken for her 16-year old son's sister. Seriously.

I had an argument at hospital during Covid because the woman kept saying his mother had to be here...assumed I was his sister. I had to go to the car to get more ID. She laughed about it later.

I have people at my son's high school that assumed I am much younger than them/had my kids young...I had my kids mid/late 30s. I'm 51- they thought I was 40.

I move well, olive skin, exercised my whole life, no sun damage, shiny dark hair, straight white teeth...no heavy make-up. Muscle tone. I still can wear clothes from two decades ago. My shape/size hasn't changed.

I think my knees are starting to show their age this year--my husband swears they aren't. And, I now see a vein or two in my lower legs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea. But I'm a middle aged woman that gets mistaken for her 16-year old son's sister. Seriously.

I had an argument at hospital during Covid because the woman kept saying his mother had to be here...assumed I was his sister. I had to go to the car to get more ID. She laughed about it later.

I have people at my son's high school that assumed I am much younger than them/had my kids young...I had my kids mid/late 30s. I'm 51- they thought I was 40.

I move well, olive skin, exercised my whole life, no sun damage, shiny dark hair, straight white teeth...no heavy make-up. Muscle tone. I still can wear clothes from two decades ago. My shape/size hasn't changed.

I think my knees are starting to show their age this year--my husband swears they aren't. And, I now see a vein or two in my lower legs.

^ also Like pp, I also have thicker eyebrows. Don't overpluck and they aren't spotty or thinning. My hair is also very thick and I have almost no grey--color what very little I do have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Age is in the knees. Walking fast with good posture and jumping up and down off street curbs (instead of pausing and hefting oneself up and down while grunting or panting/sighing) shaves decades from how one appears. Bonus points if done in heels (sorry flat-shoe loving earth muffins). Knowing current events and technology. Judging less. Knowing when to talk and when to shut up. Wit and laughter- even at low brow humour. Lighten the f*ck up.

My 90-year old aunt has this in spades. She even made a joke about stumbling at a curb only to scoff at DH when he thought she wanted a hand. She’s incredibly spry and sharp as a tack, but that’s genetics full stop. She of course does look very old in terms of deep wrinkles. Maybe like posters around here, she could pass for a couple decades younger, but she’s certainly well beyond the age where an exact number has any relevance.

People look old as they age, this happens at different rates.