Small details that make a person seem more youthful

[Anonymous]

NP. Agree with everything 11:33 said. It’s nuanced, but the “moving around youthfully” thing is huge. You can be thin and wear all the trendy denim you want, but if you mince around, take the elevator, stand on the up escalator vs walking up it …

I’m 55. I bound out of chairs and pick up things that fall on the floor. No biggie, you say, but look around the next time you’re in the presence of women > 50. There’s a LOT of economy of movement, even among the Barre set.

To PP, I get mistaken for younger all the time and I work in a hospital. I meet ~ 10-20 new people every day. I don’t know why age comes up a lot with patients/ families but it does. Also, creepily, hospitality workers often mistake me and my 20 something son for a couple. Truly gross, but theoretically a compliment. (A bottle of wine to celebrate your anniversary 🌷? We have you in 2 queens - can I switch you to a King?)

[Anonymous]

Sufficient sleep.

Confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sufficient sleep.

Confidence.

Also the “thin” answer is weird because a lot of young people are fat or at least chubby. And a lot of older women who are obviously trying to look younger are thin.

[Anonymous]

No kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No kids.

+1 Yep!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

I wear updated jeans to keep with the trends and appear more youthful so to speak, but in no way do high rise jeans and non skinny pants make someone look “better”. They are objectively less flattering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

You do know that saying "smidge" gives away your age, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

I wear updated jeans to keep with the trends and appear more youthful so to speak, but in no way do high rise jeans and non skinny pants make someone look “better”. They are objectively less flattering.

But therein lies the rub... women start to age, get chubby around their middle, and have to start wearing stuff to try and be more flattering. So the "more flattering" stuff is a give away of being old.

In any event, being skinny solves the issue - high rise jeans look decent when you're skinny. The problem arises when you have a mom pooch - that's when they don't look good.

[Anonymous]

My opinion in order of importance to an obviously subjective question:

1. Thin/toned, but not gaunt, like a BMI of 20-21, and no flab.
2. Great posture. A ballet background is really helpful here, but if you missed that in your childhood, I think yoga or pilates now would do the trick.
3. Great skin, which for me at 40 is achieved with medical grade skin care, subtle botox that I've done for 12 years now, and I recently added in RF micro needling treatments and love the results.
4. Nice hair. 40 is too young to show greys, in my opinion. I have subtle highlights around my face to brighten it a bit and blend in any new greys, which I just started getting.
5. Minimal makeup. I like tinted sunscreen, undereye concealer, brow gel, mascara, lip gloss, and a dusting of bronzer.
6. Sense of style. I like prefer neutrals, but I think this is personal and as long as your style is current and you own it, then it probably works for you.
7. Straight, white teeth.
8. Groomed nails (I am too busy for the salon, so I just do a light pink or clear polish every Sunday).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

I wear updated jeans to keep with the trends and appear more youthful so to speak, but in no way do high rise jeans and non skinny pants make someone look “better”. They are objectively less flattering.

But therein lies the rub... women start to age, get chubby around their middle, and have to start wearing stuff to try and be more flattering. So the "more flattering" stuff is a give away of being old.

In any event, being skinny solves the issue - high rise jeans look decent when you're skinny. The problem arises when you have a mom pooch - that's when they don't look good.

Very few people can truly pull off the current trend styles including high waist, flared ankle etc. It looks more “updated” but isn’t flattering to most women and that even includes thin women (who aren’t as tall as the models who sell the looks).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

You do know that saying "smidge" gives away your age, right?

Haha just what I was thinking. I’m surprised PP didn’t pick up on that with her try hard post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regularly get mistaken for someone 10 years younger than I am (I am 42, often get mistaken for early 30s). Here's what I think does it:

- Athletic. I used to be a personal trainer and still work out daily. I also walk almost everywhere I go and have lots of active hobbies (biking, hiking, rock climbing). This should be obvious, but the more active you are, the younger you will appear. It's not just that it makes your body look better (though it does), it also give you more energy, keeps you more flexible, helps maintain balance, etc. These feel like intangibles but spend some time watching how people move through the world. Exercising and feeling fit will make you appear younger without having to do anything to your clothes or hair.

- Minimal makeup. Granted, I think I have some good skin genes and my skin still looks pretty good despite not always being religious about skincare (I am now, but wasn't always when I was younger). But even if I had more wrinkles, I think a good quality CC cream plus some mascara and maaaaaybe a sheer cheek tint is plenty for most women. I went through a lipstick phase but stopped it specifically because I think it makes me look older (emphasizes thinning lips and tiny lines around my mouth that you didn't notice if I just wear a lip balm). I also think eye makeup is especially aging on older skin because it settles into all the fine lines. If you have the time to really make it look right, it works, but for every day? You will look more youthful with just a swipe of mascara and a relatively clean face. I have started to do my brows daily though, but that has to do with having light hair and needing some definition. I don't think it's necessary if your brows are already darker -- just tidy them up a bit.

- Keep clothes simple. Nothing too trendy, but I also keep things fairly streamlined. Agree that updated denim is key. So many women my age are afraid of higher rises and non-skinny jeans. I get it, but once you take the plunge, you can see it looks better. My favorite jeans right now are a highish rise with a straight leg in a mid-blue. Classic and easy. With a tee or tank tucked in, a hip-length blazer, and a pair of flats, it's such an easy look that doesn't make me look like I'm trying to be a teenager, but is in style in a way that won't date me. And it's easy and the pants are comfy! There's really no downside.

- Don't overdo technical fabrics and athleisure. I have and wear leggings. I own a fleece jacket. But I do not do head-to-toe athleisure very often. I think actual young people can pull this off and still look young. But once you're in your 40s, you just look like somebody's mom (full disclosure: I am somebody's mom). But a 40+ woman wearing black leggings/joggers, sports bra with athletic top, and a fleece jacket, plus sneakers, every day? It's not that it makes you look super old, it just pegs you to a certain stage of life -- school drop off, soccer practice, Saturdays at the playground, etc. Yes, it's plenty of women in their 30s doing this too. But the point is that it wears different once you're over 40. Putting in a smidge more effort will help a lot.

You do know that saying "smidge" gives away your age, right?

The issue this person’s post misses is that navigating through perimenopause and menopause is the hardest part for women. Me at 42 is totally different than me at 48. It is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Lol 48 is not bad at all. I climb, bike, walk a few miles and do yoga on the regular. Would I rather be 42? Sure. But let’s stop acting like 48 is geriatric.

[Anonymous]

Well hydrated. This really affects how your skin looks. Drink lots of water.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol 48 is not bad at all. I climb, bike, walk a few miles and do yoga on the regular. Would I rather be 42? Sure. But let’s stop acting like 48 is geriatric.