It is attainable for someone to look “understated wealthy” without actually wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- look to old families in countries that were colonized and robbed of their wealth. Those people are now poor, but maintain their dignity because they know true class isn't from money.

+1!! You can wear less expensive clothes and still radiate class, because it all comes down to bearing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drive a top of the line Volvo or Mercedes from 10-20 years ago.

Wear high end basics like a gray cashmere sweater with slacks or jeans. Good leather loafers/ballet flats.

Wear the same expensive yet understated jewelry everyday.

Invest in a high quality European coat. Wear it for decades.

High quality accessories.

Minimal makeup.

This pretty much describes me. Billionaire family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.

I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.

Yes and no.

I know someone who was raised very middle class, but her mother went to great lengths to dress upper class in an understated way. That was largely influenced by their super wealthy relatives. As an adult, she married well. She dresses a certain way and carries herself as though she’s old money. She even appears better put together/more old money than her old money cousins (who are ooooooolllllldddd money with a family name many might recognize).

So, yes, you can dress a certain way and carry yourself with an elegance that will likely bring you confidence and respect.

Let's be clear about one thing. The USA is a new country. There is no Old Money here. If an American recognizes a name, that person cannot be Old Money. But I grant you that they're less New Money than people who accrued wealth with crypto

- European aristocrat.

Americans aren’t impressed by European standards.

Americans have old money families. Titans of industry. Businessmen. East Coast old money is thing. Southern money is different. Silicon tech new money isn’t the same thing.

East coast old money families send their kids to boarding school and sailing camp. Their kids go to ivies but don’t need a job. They are fresh faced and skew understated/basic preppy. They are the American ideal aesthetic, which is why we have a new thread every flipping week.

If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.

Does this mean I have to stop keeping up with the royal families of Monaco and Greta’s Britain ? Should I advise my DC to not aim for Cambridge or St Andrews so they can better mingle with American old money prospective spouses ?

No, they should join the circus like understated princesses do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- look to old families in countries that were colonized and robbed of their wealth. Those people are now poor, but maintain their dignity because they know true class isn't from money.

+1!! You can wear less expensive clothes and still radiate class, because it all comes down to bearing.

Which century are you writing this from?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.

I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.

Yes and no.

I know someone who was raised very middle class, but her mother went to great lengths to dress upper class in an understated way. That was largely influenced by their super wealthy relatives. As an adult, she married well. She dresses a certain way and carries herself as though she’s old money. She even appears better put together/more old money than her old money cousins (who are ooooooolllllldddd money with a family name many might recognize).

So, yes, you can dress a certain way and carry yourself with an elegance that will likely bring you confidence and respect.

Let's be clear about one thing. The USA is a new country. There is no Old Money here. If an American recognizes a name, that person cannot be Old Money. But I grant you that they're less New Money than people who accrued wealth with crypto

- European aristocrat.

Americans aren’t impressed by European standards.

Americans have old money families. Titans of industry. Businessmen. East Coast old money is thing. Southern money is different. Silicon tech new money isn’t the same thing.

East coast old money families send their kids to boarding school and sailing camp. Their kids go to ivies but don’t need a job. They are fresh faced and skew understated/basic preppy. They are the American ideal aesthetic, which is why we have a new thread every flipping week.

If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.

Does this mean I have to stop keeping up with the royal families of Monaco and Greta’s Britain ? Should I advise my DC to not aim for Cambridge or St Andrews so they can better mingle with American old money prospective spouses ?

No, they should join the circus like understated princesses do.

Does it have to be an American circus? Will no one be impressed if they join a European circus?

Is it OK if the circus safety equipment is less than twenty years old if the circus equipment is Mercedes brand equivalent ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drive a top of the line Volvo or Mercedes from 10-20 years ago.

Wear high end basics like a gray cashmere sweater with slacks or jeans. Good leather loafers/ballet flats.

Wear the same expensive yet understated jewelry everyday.

Invest in a high quality European coat. Wear it for decades.

High quality accessories.

Minimal makeup.

This pretty much describes me. Billionaire family.

Why haven’t billionaire families got the memo? No one in US is impressed by European fashions … you should ask Michele Obama and Jill Biden for fashion advice based on American designers. If you agree to attend a fund raiser for universal health care and increasing corporate tax rates, I am sure they will be happy to share made in America fashion gems with billionaire buddies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drive a top of the line Volvo or Mercedes from 10-20 years ago.

Wear high end basics like a gray cashmere sweater with slacks or jeans. Good leather loafers/ballet flats.

Wear the same expensive yet understated jewelry everyday.

Invest in a high quality European coat. Wear it for decades.

High quality accessories.

Minimal makeup.

This pretty much describes me. Billionaire family.

It also describes me. Not a billionaire.

[Anonymous]

OP I hope all the great advice here is helpful for your aspirations:

1. Children should join American circus
2. Wear expensive underaged jewelry but not in MC/ LMC areas where you might get mugged;
3. Don’t name Drop any European fashion designers/ cars etc - Tear charging station in front yard;
4. Try to find a high end American car you can keep for thirty years;
5. Don’t mention that you follow European royals. Leave equestrian and ethical investment magazines lying around.
6. Bumper stickers referring to skiing in Aspen, Horse riding in Montana and summers in the Hamptons or Martha’s Vineyard;
7. Discrete tattoos on ankles or shoulders in Latin (Where there was no way, we found one). This is a subtle cue that old money will Pick up on : nouveau Riche have yet to find their way but you already arrived;
8. Finally, Sing the praises of your home help who are like your family. They even get to come on vacation with you and clean up after you and cook for you! Ideal family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I hope all the great advice here is helpful for your aspirations:

1. Children should join American circus
2. Wear expensive underaged jewelry but not in MC/ LMC areas where you might get mugged;
3. Don’t name Drop any European fashion designers/ cars etc - Tear charging station in front yard;
4. Try to find a high end American car you can keep for thirty years;
5. Don’t mention that you follow European royals. Leave equestrian and ethical investment magazines lying around.
6. Bumper stickers referring to skiing in Aspen, Horse riding in Montana and summers in the Hamptons or Martha’s Vineyard;
7. Discrete tattoos on ankles or shoulders in Latin (Where there was no way, we found one). This is a subtle cue that old money will Pick up on : nouveau Riche have yet to find their way but you already arrived;
8. Finally, Sing the praises of your home help who are like your family. They even get to come on vacation with you and clean up after you and cook for you! Ideal family!

Plus -
Blame any typos and auto corrects on your personal assistant … it is just so hard to find good help these days …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I hope all the great advice here is helpful for your aspirations:

1. Children should join American circus
2. Wear expensive underaged jewelry but not in MC/ LMC areas where you might get mugged;
3. Don’t name Drop any European fashion designers/ cars etc - Tear charging station in front yard;
4. Try to find a high end American car you can keep for thirty years;
5. Don’t mention that you follow European royals. Leave equestrian and ethical investment magazines lying around.
6. Bumper stickers referring to skiing in Aspen, Horse riding in Montana and summers in the Hamptons or Martha’s Vineyard;
7. Discrete tattoos on ankles or shoulders in Latin (Where there was no way, we found one). This is a subtle cue that old money will Pick up on : nouveau Riche have yet to find their way but you already arrived;
8. Finally, Sing the praises of your home help who are like your family. They even get to come on vacation with you and clean up after you and cook for you! Ideal family!

Plus -
Blame any typos and auto corrects on your personal assistant … it is just so hard to find good help these days …

ha ha. thanks for the laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.

I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.

God no, not LL Bean. Aquascutum, Barbour, or Hobbs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- look to old families in countries that were colonized and robbed of their wealth. Those people are now poor, but maintain their dignity because they know true class isn't from money.

+1!! You can wear less expensive clothes and still radiate class, because it all comes down to bearing.

Seems none of the royals of Europe have received your memo, as they all still insist on wearing very expensive brands. Maybe you should let them know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- look to old families in countries that were colonized and robbed of their wealth. Those people are now poor, but maintain their dignity because they know true class isn't from money.

+1!! You can wear less expensive clothes and still radiate class, because it all comes down to bearing.

Seems none of the royals of Europe have received your memo, as they all still insist on wearing very expensive brands. Maybe you should let them know?

They do? Zara, J. Crew, Converse… none of these looks are inaccessible.

https://www.marieclaire.com/fashion/g25472417/royals-casual-outfits/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I hope all the great advice here is helpful for your aspirations:

1. Children should join American circus
2. Wear expensive underaged jewelry but not in MC/ LMC areas where you might get mugged;
3. Don’t name Drop any European fashion designers/ cars etc - Tear charging station in front yard;
4. Try to find a high end American car you can keep for thirty years;
5. Don’t mention that you follow European royals. Leave equestrian and ethical investment magazines lying around.
6. Bumper stickers referring to skiing in Aspen, Horse riding in Montana and summers in the Hamptons or Martha’s Vineyard;
7. Discrete tattoos on ankles or shoulders in Latin (Where there was no way, we found one). This is a subtle cue that old money will Pick up on : nouveau Riche have yet to find their way but you already arrived;
8. Finally, Sing the praises of your home help who are like your family. They even get to come on vacation with you and clean up after you and cook for you! Ideal family!

EUROPEAN circus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so tbh. You could hire a stylist to help with clothing though. The internal bit of being deeply, generationally wealthy - entirely financially secure - way down into you genes is not something you can acquire.

I agree with this. I think the reason people are obsessed with looking wealthy (on this board and just in general) is because we see rich people and want to feel like that -- truly secure in your well being, and the well bing of your kids if you have them. It's not exactly confidence (though it might also be that) -- there are poor people who are confident. It's that sense of security.

I saw a woman the other day who embodied that super understated rich person vibe. Her clothes were not showy at all -- a good quality raincoat from LL Bean or similar, nice straight cut jeans that were flattering and fit well and likely from a luxury brand, but no obvious branding or identifying marks. No socks, and good quality leather loafers -- they looked like they were from M.Gemi or similar but again, no obvious branding. She had long hair with a center part, it was healthy with a good cut but not styled. No makeup. Non-descript tote bag.

I could recreate her entire look tomorrow and it wouldn't even be unattainable for me financially. All in, it's probably less than 1k, including the haircut (excluding the jewelry, but again, it was so understated I don't even remember what it was -- probably a simple wedding band and some diamond studs). And I still wouldn't feel wealthy. I wouldn't even feel fashionable or pretty because there is nothing fashionable about this outfit. The reason this woman wore it well and it conveyed wealth is the WAY she wore it -- secure in the knowledge that she doesn't need to impress anyone with her clothes or style, that she can just wear good quality items that are comfortable and last, and it won't matter to her one way or the other if people like it or not.

That's it. Security. If you are trying to figure out how to "look wealthy" you are by definition insecure (and I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean that in a descriptive way -- most of us are insecure in some way, financially or emotionally, and it's often not really our fault) and can't achieve it.

Yes and no.

I know someone who was raised very middle class, but her mother went to great lengths to dress upper class in an understated way. That was largely influenced by their super wealthy relatives. As an adult, she married well. She dresses a certain way and carries herself as though she’s old money. She even appears better put together/more old money than her old money cousins (who are ooooooolllllldddd money with a family name many might recognize).

So, yes, you can dress a certain way and carry yourself with an elegance that will likely bring you confidence and respect.

Let's be clear about one thing. The USA is a new country. There is no Old Money here. If an American recognizes a name, that person cannot be Old Money. But I grant you that they're less New Money than people who accrued wealth with crypto

- European aristocrat.

Americans aren’t impressed by European standards.

Americans have old money families. Titans of industry. Businessmen. East Coast old money is thing. Southern money is different. Silicon tech new money isn’t the same thing.

East coast old money families send their kids to boarding school and sailing camp. Their kids go to ivies but don’t need a job. They are fresh faced and skew understated/basic preppy. They are the American ideal aesthetic, which is why we have a new thread every flipping week.

If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.

Does this mean I have to stop keeping up with the royal families of Monaco and Greta’s Britain ? Should I advise my DC to not aim for Cambridge or St Andrews so they can better mingle with American old money prospective spouses ?

You do you, pp.

The British royal family is far different than European aristocrats that Americans haven’t heard of. By contrast, some Americans still strive to carry themselves like a Kennedy.

Fwiw, I’m an Anglophile. I love several uk brands.