I would like to hear from professionals about screen use

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weird thread.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to hear from professionals about screen time so you posted to an anonymous message board where you have no way of verifying who anyone is?

Ok.

+1 I think majority are only professionals at having screens raise their children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

That’s actually a lot of screen time OP. You should not allow screen use before school, btw.

Not OP, but lol ok.

My 5 year old gets a lot of screen time, but does a ton of other things as well (full-time preschool, ballet, soccer, swimming, lots of playdates, etc.). She got into every private school we applied to for K and tested in the 99th percentile.

But sure — screen time before school is so awful.

DP here. Think how much better your child could have done without all the screentime.

Better than getting in everywhere and testing 99th percentile?

Yes your kid can do better. Use that time to teach them something useful like how to cook. Too much screen time is bad no matter how smart your kid is. Smart doesn’t mean well rounded especially if they’re only 8 there’s so much still to learn.

When did I say my kid was 8?

As it happens, we do all sorts of things: STEM kits, cooking, running around the playground, setting up elaborate birthday parties for her stuffed animals, etc.

Today she spent 4 hours at a birthday party at a local park, running around and playing. She spent another easily 3 hours on a different playground. Yes, she also watched TV.

I think you were referring to me from the beginning of this thread. I am the teacher with an 8 year old who agrees screen time is OK- in addition to all the other things she does (competitive dance team, science class, playdates, playground, shows, museums, etc) She is also the inly kid I know who will entertain herself for HOURS rearranging her dollhouse, coming up with her own projects, plays with all her toys creatively. Also, she loves to share interesting facts from the internet with me. Last week, we went on a walk, and had fun video-taping (and WATCHING) her jump in rain puddles in slo-mo. Productive way to use screens, imo. Simply a good way to relax and enjoy yourself.

PP, ignore the righteous screen time haters.

[Anonymous]

3 hours per day screen time = 819 full days over 18 years. That’s over 2 full years but parents on here every day wonder why their kids don’t seem “ready “ to go off to college.

[Anonymous]

HS teacher here, so not sure if this is relevant to OP’s situation. My school doesn’t allow phones in the building during the day. I am most worried about how easy antisocial behavior can be with phones and how disengagement with others can correlate with depression and anxiety. This is dependent on what students are doing on their screens, not necessarily how much screen time they have.

[Anonymous]

1.5 hours a day is kind of a lot, but what's odd is that you're so rigid about timing. Why does it have to be after a meal? Why not just tell her she gets an hour a day and let her figure out how to manage it? Seems like a decent way to start teaching time management skills.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a professional, so I’m not going to express my personal opinion. However, as someone who is interested in the discussion OP started, I would suggest that posters who are posting their opinions identify what their professional qualifications are in relation to this thread. Only a few posters have done so, but it is very helpful to have that context when considering their contributions. Many thanks to the posters who have demonstrated this courtesy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not a professional, so I’m not going to express my personal opinion. However, as someone who is interested in the discussion OP started, I would suggest that posters who are posting their opinions identify what their professional qualifications are in relation to this thread. Only a few posters have done so, but it is very helpful to have that context when considering their contributions. Many thanks to the posters who have demonstrated this courtesy.

I think the professionals are identifying themselves and the rest are just parents.

[Anonymous]

Our entire society is screen addicted. So yeah, most kids are too. You can’t fix systemic issues at an individual level, but that’s what parents are told to do, over and over.

Also, the culture of intensive parenting is incredibly wearing. Parents use screens for a break, which makes the kids less tolerant of boredom. Vicious cycle.

We should start by rejecting intensive parenting, not screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1.5 hours a day is kind of a lot, but what's odd is that you're so rigid about timing. Why does it have to be after a meal? Why not just tell her she gets an hour a day and let her figure out how to manage it? Seems like a decent way to start teaching time management skills.

Sorry, I didn’t post accurately. No TV after breakfast. Only after lunch (weekends) and dinner (every day). So it ends up being 30 min on weekdays, and 1 hour on weekends.

As for why I don’t let her figure it out - it’s because she’s 5. I don’t let her figure out when to brush her teeth or go to bed either! But interested to hear from professionals if I should.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to everyone who has posted so far! I’ll check back in the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 hours per day screen time = 819 full days over 18 years. That’s over 2 full years but parents on here every day wonder why their kids don’t seem “ready “ to go off to college.

but screen time also includes TV watching! And even decades ago, we were watching hours of TV after school, after dinner, etc. it amounted to hours each day and people would say that it was brain rot, etc. Now screen issue discussions are broader encompassing more types of devices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1.5 hours a day is kind of a lot, but what's odd is that you're so rigid about timing. Why does it have to be after a meal? Why not just tell her she gets an hour a day and let her figure out how to manage it? Seems like a decent way to start teaching time management skills.

Sorry, I didn’t post accurately. No TV after breakfast. Only after lunch (weekends) and dinner (every day). So it ends up being 30 min on weekdays, and 1 hour on weekends.

As for why I don’t let her figure it out - it’s because she’s 5. I don’t let her figure out when to brush her teeth or go to bed either! But interested to hear from professionals if I should.

I’m a kindergarten teacher with a masters in education. I think your screen schedule is both reasonable and healthy for your child. I do not see it as too strict at all and I wish more parents followed your limitations.

So many of my young students don’t know what to do with themselves when given a free moment. They stare blankly or ask me what they can do. I teach at a private school that encourages reading and language so we ask parents to limit screen use at home. A few of my students have never seen a TV program, movie, or tablet game at five and they’re doing very well.

I simply don’t see the benefit at five. Later, our school shows nature videos and starts teaching computers/coding but not at 5/6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

That’s actually a lot of screen time OP. You should not allow screen use before school, btw.

Not OP, but lol ok.

My 5 year old gets a lot of screen time, but does a ton of other things as well (full-time preschool, ballet, soccer, swimming, lots of playdates, etc.). She got into every private school we applied to for K and tested in the 99th percentile.

But sure — screen time before school is so awful.

An hour and a half of screen time a day is a lot.

And it’s widely known that it’s best not to watch TV before school or before bed. Just look it up when you stop “lol”

Why do you keep saying “TV?” How old are you? Most kids’ screen time is not watching TV shows.

My kids only use tv for screen time (except for their tablets to read). The school gives the kids IPad for reading and Seesaw, but they don’t use it on weekends. They are 8 and 6 and I hope they will never want to play video games (not because they are bad, but because I never liked them)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

That’s actually a lot of screen time OP. You should not allow screen use before school, btw.

Not OP, but lol ok.

My 5 year old gets a lot of screen time, but does a ton of other things as well (full-time preschool, ballet, soccer, swimming, lots of playdates, etc.). She got into every private school we applied to for K and tested in the 99th percentile.

But sure — screen time before school is so awful.

An hour and a half of screen time a day is a lot.

And it’s widely known that it’s best not to watch TV before school or before bed. Just look it up when you stop “lol”

Why do you keep saying “TV?” How old are you? Most kids’ screen time is not watching TV shows.

NP here and at 31 I say TV. My kids are 3 and 8 and all they do on screens is watch television programs streamed through the TV or laptop. What else would you call what they were doing?