I would like to hear from professionals about screen use

[Anonymous]

Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

[Anonymous]

I'm only a mom, but your kid gets way more screen time than my tweens.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I have a BS and MA in child development, and I am Montessori certified. I am also a mom to an 8 year old daughter. Respectfully, I think you are way over the top. Technology is part of our world, and not something to be hidden or completely denied to your child.

My daughter has unlimited screen use.

HOWEVER, this is in addition to 4+ hours of dance class per week, and numerous other rotating activities. For example, this weekend, we are seeing Sound Of Music on stage, working on her Misty Copeland book report, she had a kid’s science / dissection class, and 2 playdates. Last weekend, we went to a histoey museum to see an exhibit on color, and spent no less than 5 hours in the playground.

So, when we are home, i feel we are both entitled to chill out. If she wants the ilad or phone during this time. I am fine with it.

As your child gets older, you may want to rethink your current technology policy. Do what feels right to you, but consider your husband’s perspective, too.

Good luck. I am sure you will figure it all out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, I have a BS and MA in child development, and I am Montessori certified. I am also a mom to an 8 year old daughter. Respectfully, I think you are way over the top. Technology is part of our world, and not something to be hidden or completely denied to your child.

My daughter has unlimited screen use.

HOWEVER, this is in addition to 4+ hours of dance class per week, and numerous other rotating activities. For example, this weekend, we are seeing Sound Of Music on stage, working on her Misty Copeland book report, she had a kid’s science / dissection class, and 2 playdates. Last weekend, we went to a histoey museum to see an exhibit on color, and spent no less than 5 hours in the playground.

So, when we are home, i feel we are both entitled to chill out. If she wants the ilad or phone during this time. I am fine with it.

As your child gets older, you may want to rethink your current technology policy. Do what feels right to you, but consider your husband’s perspective, too.

Good luck. I am sure you will figure it all out.

I should not have said “completely” denied. I mispoke.

[Anonymous]

I'm a child psychologist. DH is a (non-child) psychologist who works in tech. Our kids are not allowed any screens except for Facetiming distant relatives, unless we're on an airplane, until they need screens for school. We purposely picked a school that's very low screen.

[Anonymous]

Don't over think it and remember moderation is good. Dont' do all or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a child psychologist. DH is a (non-child) psychologist who works in tech. Our kids are not allowed any screens except for Facetiming distant relatives, unless we're on an airplane, until they need screens for school. We purposely picked a school that's very low screen.

Can you explain your rationale?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a child psychologist. DH is a (non-child) psychologist who works in tech. Our kids are not allowed any screens except for Facetiming distant relatives, unless we're on an airplane, until they need screens for school. We purposely picked a school that's very low screen.

Can you explain your rationale?

I'm not going to link to all the studies but we've read them on how detrimental screen use is to kids (heck, and to adults) and their developing minds/sense of self but they exist, and have been published for years. Yes, we live in a technological world, but it's not hard to learn and "catching up" won't take much time at all. There are no legit studies out there concluding that kids should view more screens. When you combine that with the growing number of screen addictions it's a very simple conclusion.

[Anonymous]

My 5 yo kid gets a 20 minute show 1x a week and half hour FaceTime with grandpa. Enrolled in forrest kindergarten, so screenfree school. 5 out 11 kids have parents who at child development professionals in various occupations and they seem much more relaxed about screentime.

[Anonymous]

What do you think the benefit of more screen time will give your child?

I have my masters in Early Childhood Development and I see no benefit to screen use for young kids (under 6). After about six, TV/computer can be another educational resource.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

That’s actually a lot of screen time OP. You should not allow screen use before school, btw.

[Anonymous]

Preschool teacher here. My brightest, most engaged students don’t watch TV during the week (according to them and the parent). They’re all three.

Anecdotal and unscientific but that’s my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

That’s actually a lot of screen time OP. You should not allow screen use before school, btw.

Not OP, but lol ok.

My 5 year old gets a lot of screen time, but does a ton of other things as well (full-time preschool, ballet, soccer, swimming, lots of playdates, etc.). She got into every private school we applied to for K and tested in the 99th percentile.

But sure — screen time before school is so awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professionals meaning child psychologists, child development experts, pediatricians, teachers. Not just fellow parent-quacks like me.

I am quite strict about screen use for my 5yo. 20-30 min after each meal and that’s it, other than FaceTime. As she gets older I’ll probably relax enough to allow a movie or two each weekend in the company of family or friends.

I also rarely use my phone in front of her, and when I do I explain what I’m doing (ordering dinner, texting her dad a grocery list).

DH goes along with this but also thinks I’m slightly cuckoo since just about everyone else we know is fairly laissez faire (other than two close friends who do similarly). Everyone else pays lip service (I wish he would stop playing so many video games!) but they’ve thrown up their hands.

At what point should I loosen the apron strings? I just want DD to live a full life, and I feel that the addictiveness of screens takes away from that life. I do practice what I preach and don’t use my phone excessively.

After each meal, so 1.5 hr a day? That’s not super strict

That’s actually a lot of screen time OP. You should not allow screen use before school, btw.

Not OP, but lol ok.

My 5 year old gets a lot of screen time, but does a ton of other things as well (full-time preschool, ballet, soccer, swimming, lots of playdates, etc.). She got into every private school we applied to for K and tested in the 99th percentile.

But sure — screen time before school is so awful.

An hour and a half of screen time a day is a lot.

And it’s widely known that it’s best not to watch TV before school or before bed. Just look it up when you stop “lol”