Do not bring a sibling to a birthday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't bring a sibling who has not been invited. Full stop.

It is actually important for siblings who were not invited to learn how to deal with not being invited. Also, it teaches siblings to deal with the fact that their brother or sister have their own friends. It is a way of teaching boundaries. I have watched moms argue that both their kids should go to a party when only one was invited because they want to "always keep things equal forever" between their kids. That is delusional thinking.

True but as others have stated sometimes it’s just a matter if practicality. I have a 3.5 yr old and 1.5 year old. It’s not a drop off party and I don’t have anyone to watch the 1.5 year old most weekends. DW is an ER nurse and has to work many weekends. We just don’t go to the party.

Start finding a roster of sitters. You are going to have a lot of weekend commitments as the kids get older, whether with sports or more birthday parties, and you don’t want to deny your kids the opportunity to enjoy them. If your wife will truly be unable to help most weekends, finding someone trustworthy and reliable now will help you a lot going forward.

Thanks but I don’t want to do that. I like spending time with both kids. I will wait until kids have drop-off parties and will bring one to the others practices and games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't bring a sibling who has not been invited. Full stop.

It is actually important for siblings who were not invited to learn how to deal with not being invited. Also, it teaches siblings to deal with the fact that their brother or sister have their own friends. It is a way of teaching boundaries. I have watched moms argue that both their kids should go to a party when only one was invited because they want to "always keep things equal forever" between their kids. That is delusional thinking.

True but as others have stated sometimes it’s just a matter if practicality. I have a 3.5 yr old and 1.5 year old. It’s not a drop off party and I don’t have anyone to watch the 1.5 year old most weekends. DW is an ER nurse and has to work many weekends. We just don’t go to the party.

Start finding a roster of sitters. You are going to have a lot of weekend commitments as the kids get older, whether with sports or more birthday parties, and you don’t want to deny your kids the opportunity to enjoy them. If your wife will truly be unable to help most weekends, finding someone trustworthy and reliable now will help you a lot going forward.

Thanks but I don’t want to do that. I like spending time with both kids. I will wait until kids have drop-off parties and will bring one to the others practices and games.

Then stop complaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't bring a sibling who has not been invited. Full stop.

It is actually important for siblings who were not invited to learn how to deal with not being invited. Also, it teaches siblings to deal with the fact that their brother or sister have their own friends. It is a way of teaching boundaries. I have watched moms argue that both their kids should go to a party when only one was invited because they want to "always keep things equal forever" between their kids. That is delusional thinking.

True but as others have stated sometimes it’s just a matter if practicality. I have a 3.5 yr old and 1.5 year old. It’s not a drop off party and I don’t have anyone to watch the 1.5 year old most weekends. DW is an ER nurse and has to work many weekends. We just don’t go to the party.

Start finding a roster of sitters. You are going to have a lot of weekend commitments as the kids get older, whether with sports or more birthday parties, and you don’t want to deny your kids the opportunity to enjoy them. If your wife will truly be unable to help most weekends, finding someone trustworthy and reliable now will help you a lot going forward.

Thanks but I don’t want to do that. I like spending time with both kids. I will wait until kids have drop-off parties and will bring one to the others practices and games.

Then stop complaining.

I wasn’t complaining! Why are you so defensive?

[Anonymous]

Parents with strict no siblings parties can’t complain about declined invitations. Simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

You should RSVP no in this case. The host family shouldn't have to pay for another kid because you are too cheap to pay for a babysitter.

Eh, yeah, PP. That what I just said - I always RSVP no.

How old is your child? If not drop off age, it is ok to ask if you can bring a sibling.

When my husband was deployed, I would say my husband was deployed and if there was space for sibling and it was always yes. These were classmate parties and not all classmates can come.

I have also been asked am I sometimes would tell the parent I would let them know if there was space closer to the party date. This was the truth and reasonable.

If child is drop off age, you could just drop off.

Why couldn't you get a babysitter? My father was military and my mother never used whining guilt of "my husband is deployed," to bring all five children to another child's birthday party. We all knew that only the invited child could attend party. We also knew that only the birthday child received presents. Hire a babysitter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents with strict no siblings parties can’t complain about declined invitations. Simple as that.

I’ve never heard anyone ever complain about this. You have? I don’t believe you, but make the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents with strict no siblings parties can’t complain about declined invitations. Simple as that.

I’ve never heard anyone ever complain about this. You have? I don’t believe you, but make the case.

I have. Many times both here and IRL. Parents get upset (which I understand) when few kids come to their kid’s birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

You should RSVP no in this case. The host family shouldn't have to pay for another kid because you are too cheap to pay for a babysitter.

Eh, yeah, PP. That what I just said - I always RSVP no.

How old is your child? If not drop off age, it is ok to ask if you can bring a sibling.

When my husband was deployed, I would say my husband was deployed and if there was space for sibling and it was always yes. These were classmate parties and not all classmates can come.

I have also been asked am I sometimes would tell the parent I would let them know if there was space closer to the party date. This was the truth and reasonable.

If child is drop off age, you could just drop off.

Why couldn't you get a babysitter? My father was military and my mother never used whining guilt of "my husband is deployed," to bring all five children to another child's birthday party. We all knew that only the invited child could attend party. We also knew that only the birthday child received presents. Hire a babysitter!

Not the PP but I like being with my kids on weekends and don’t want to hire a babysitter. I’m not whining about it - it’s my choice - but sibling included parties are better for us with a 4 and two year old. By the time they’re drop-off age, it won’t matter and will be their choice if they want to go or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents with strict no siblings parties can’t complain about declined invitations. Simple as that.

I’ve never heard anyone ever complain about this. You have? I don’t believe you, but make the case.

I have. Many times both here and IRL. Parents get upset (which I understand) when few kids come to their kid’s birthday parties.

+1. I certainly have in real life. Recently, a mom-friend was angry I couldn’t come to their child’s gym party because DH was out of town and I have a toddler. Look how defensive posters are getting on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Just to be clear, the rule is not “don’t bring siblings to a birthday party”, it’s “don’t bring siblings who aren’t invited”. We always invited all the siblings. It explicitly said so on the invite. And as a result, a number of people who knew my husband worked shifts would call and say “bring Larlo” to their kids’ parties. OP has no idea if those siblings were invited so judging them as rude seems unfair.

[Anonymous]

I’m from a big table family and everyone is invited to my kids parties. I don’t mind taking DC to the invitation only, no siblings, parties but it will always feel strange to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

You should RSVP no in this case. The host family shouldn't have to pay for another kid because you are too cheap to pay for a babysitter.

Eh, yeah, PP. That what I just said - I always RSVP no.

How old is your child? If not drop off age, it is ok to ask if you can bring a sibling.

When my husband was deployed, I would say my husband was deployed and if there was space for sibling and it was always yes. These were classmate parties and not all classmates can come.

I have also been asked am I sometimes would tell the parent I would let them know if there was space closer to the party date. This was the truth and reasonable.

If child is drop off age, you could just drop off.

Why couldn't you get a babysitter? My father was military and my mother never used whining guilt of "my husband is deployed," to bring all five children to another child's birthday party. We all knew that only the invited child could attend party. We also knew that only the birthday child received presents. Hire a babysitter!

Not the PP but I like being with my kids on weekends and don’t want to hire a babysitter. I’m not whining about it - it’s my choice - but sibling included parties are better for us with a 4 and two year old. By the time they’re drop-off age, it won’t matter and will be their choice if they want to go or not.

+1. I don’t want to hire a babysitter either. Missing another birthday party is NBD.

[Anonymous]

Why would you ever actually take advice from random strangers, if you wanted to take the sibling you should’ve asked or just taken them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't bring a sibling who has not been invited. Full stop.

It is actually important for siblings who were not invited to learn how to deal with not being invited. Also, it teaches siblings to deal with the fact that their brother or sister have their own friends. It is a way of teaching boundaries. I have watched moms argue that both their kids should go to a party when only one was invited because they want to "always keep things equal forever" between their kids. That is delusional thinking.

Ok. This is crazy. Most people I know work (some) weekends and both parents aren’t home in the middle of the day to babysit a three year old and an infant while the four year old goes to a party.
I assume that most people asking are asking because they don’t have other childcare. If people are asking because they feel that you need to accommodate their own weird neuroses, that’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We always rsvp no to any party that doesn’t include siblings. DH works on weekends and I’m not hiring a babysitter for a birthday party.

You should RSVP no in this case. The host family shouldn't have to pay for another kid because you are too cheap to pay for a babysitter.

Eh, yeah, PP. That what I just said - I always RSVP no.

How old is your child? If not drop off age, it is ok to ask if you can bring a sibling.

When my husband was deployed, I would say my husband was deployed and if there was space for sibling and it was always yes. These were classmate parties and not all classmates can come.

I have also been asked am I sometimes would tell the parent I would let them know if there was space closer to the party date. This was the truth and reasonable.

If child is drop off age, you could just drop off.

Why couldn't you get a babysitter? My father was military and my mother never used whining guilt of "my husband is deployed," to bring all five children to another child's birthday party. We all knew that only the invited child could attend party. We also knew that only the birthday child received presents. Hire a babysitter!

So….Did your mother hire babysitters to take you or your siblings to preschool birthday parties?