my DD was just suspended for vaping on school grounds

[Anonymous]

I found vape stuff I both my kids rooms. I took the car for a week (three times with one, which last time was car for three weeks). I guess they were lucky they never got caught at school. They both outgrew by the time they went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

Why no books? I would kill for my kid to actually be bored enough to pick up a book.

My kid would receive the following consequences.

1) Doors come off the hinges in their room
2) They would have to write a paper on the dangers of nicotine
3) They would go to rehab if it's bad
4) Phone is confiscated
5) Laptop for schoolwork only and in a public place with parental supervision
6) Random drug tests
7) Random searches of room/backpack, etc.
8) Car privileges revoked

Wait...there's rehab for vaping???

Marijuana is addictive to many.

- oh wait , you did not believe vaping was just limited to nicotine, did you?? Oh honey, you have much to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what are you doing about it?

If she has ADHD, perhaps she needs a dose adjustment.

What about the OP’s posts suggests that she has ADHD?

Are you new here? ADHD is an excuse for all bad behavior at DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some children suffer from anxiety; and they self-medicate to cope with being the victim of a mental illness.

Isn’t suspension a little harsh?

And whatever happened to second chances?

Schools don’t give second chances anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

Why no books? I would kill for my kid to actually be bored enough to pick up a book.

My kid would receive the following consequences.

1) Doors come off the hinges in their room
2) They would have to write a paper on the dangers of nicotine
3) They would go to rehab if it's bad
4) Phone is confiscated
5) Laptop for schoolwork only and in a public place with parental supervision
6) Random drug tests
7) Random searches of room/backpack, etc.
8) Car privileges revoked

Jesus Christ

9) She needs to go to church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what are you doing about it?

If she has ADHD, perhaps she needs a dose adjustment.

What about the OP’s posts suggests that she has ADHD?

Are you new here? ADHD is an excuse for all bad behavior at DCUM.

Proof is that OP replied “she does have ADHD, perhaps a change in meds is in order.” Because a teenager making a bad decision and blaming peer pressure is clearly the fault of ADHD meds.

[Anonymous]

Same thing happened to my DD. I searched her room and found nearly a dozen devices and cartridges and homemade bowl with traces of weed in it.
She had ISS for 3 days, and was grounded/no phone/no friends for two weeks. Her school assures us this won't go on her record since it's in-school suspension only.
She is otherwise a good kid. 4.1 GPA, class president (!), lots of extracurriculars, etc.
Smart, good teens do stupid things.
I continue to randomly search her room, and yes, I have found another device, which resulted in another grounding.

Her only excuse is 'everybody does it', which maybe they do, but she knows my expectations and my rules. Sadly, we can't control what they do when we're not around.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP.

As for college apps, my DD was suspended in 9th grade for something different, but equally stupid. Here's how it played out in case you are worried (as I was when this happened to my otherwise never-in-trouble honors/AP kid).

- The high school specifically did not include the suspension on the records they sent to colleges (FCPS).
- The Common App itself did not ask about disciplinary issues.
- However, every college except for one that DD applied to asked in the college-specific section to disclose any suspensions/expulsions and offered a place to explain.
- The one college that didn't ask was DD's ED school. She was accepted and they sent out a form where they asked about disciplinary issues. She was honest and provided the same explanation as in the Common App. She got an email a day later saying they were confident she'd still be a great addition to the college.

She also got in to two of the other schools, including one Honors College, before we withdrew apps due to the ED acceptance.

I think as long as it's only the one discipline issue and your DD provides a thoughtful explanation, it should not hurt her with college apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

Why no books? I would kill for my kid to actually be bored enough to pick up a book.

My kid would receive the following consequences.

1) Doors come off the hinges in their room
2) They would have to write a paper on the dangers of nicotine
3) They would go to rehab if it's bad
4) Phone is confiscated
5) Laptop for schoolwork only and in a public place with parental supervision
6) Random drug tests
7) Random searches of room/backpack, etc.
8) Car privileges revoked

Wait...there's rehab for vaping???

Marijuana is addictive to many.

- oh wait , you did not believe vaping was just limited to nicotine, did you?? Oh honey, you have much to learn.

Oh honey, when you go to rehab for MJ, you come home with a bigger, harder habit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some children suffer from anxiety; and they self-medicate to cope with being the victim of a mental illness.

Isn’t suspension a little harsh?

And whatever happened to second chances?

Schools don’t give second chances anymore

Schools give a million chances. In school suspension is a slap on the wrist

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what are you doing about it?

If she has ADHD, perhaps she needs a dose adjustment.

What about the OP’s posts suggests that she has ADHD?

ADHD is associated with increased risk of substance abuse, especially with adolescents. Decades of research supports this. PP said, "If she has ADHD". PP's was a reasonable and relevant post.


Here is one longitudinal study. There are others. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2003/08/adhd-drugs
"According to the study, those children with the most severe attention problems in childhood were most at risk for alcohol and marijuana problems and cigarette smoking by their teens. Those children with ADHD with other behavior problems, such as defying parents and fighting, were also at risk for illicit drug use, but severity of attention problems was a better predictor for drinking, tobacco, and marijuana outcomes."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely deserving of being grounded etc. It was dumb. But teens are dumb and do careless things. I'm sure a few of us on here smoked cigarettes as teenagers, but have quit and gone on to become successful, healthy adults. This isn't the end of the world.

This. It's not the end of the world. And what happened to in school suspension?

[Anonymous]

Make her vape the whole pack!

(i honestly don't know if they come in packs?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

Why no books? I would kill for my kid to actually be bored enough to pick up a book.

My kid would receive the following consequences.

1) Doors come off the hinges in their room
2) They would have to write a paper on the dangers of nicotine
3) They would go to rehab if it's bad
4) Phone is confiscated
5) Laptop for schoolwork only and in a public place with parental supervision
6) Random drug tests
7) Random searches of room/backpack, etc.
8) Car privileges revoked

Wtf?

#insaneparents

Seriously. Didn't we find out that tough love does not work in the 80s.

Are there rehab centers for vaping? lol

[Anonymous]

We live in an upper middle class neighborhood. My son says a lot of the kids in the Football team at his school vape weed.

He says most of the White kids are "pot heads" and/or vape.

The school demographics is 47.42 White, 20.56% Asian, 17.89% Hispanic, 7.12% African-American, and 7.01% of other races.