my DD was just suspended for vaping on school grounds

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knows vaping is illegal. She knows she's not supposed to do it at school. A friend invited her to smoke in the hall. So, of course, she accepted. I'm at a loss.
A lot of her friends vape in parks around the school.

A lot of kids vape in the bathrooms at my kids' school in Fairfax County. Same goes for my nephew's school in Loudoun County.

And I honestly think the schools have turned a blind eye to the issue.

Kids know the consequences. I would be livid.

We haven’t turned a blind eye. But vaping is PERVASIVE. Nearly every kid has a nic. We would operate more like a juvenile detention than a school if we had to address every GD vape. Basically at this point only the marijuana cartridges are the focus although if a kid is dumb enough to drop their vape or charge it in class yeah they’ll get written up. But seriously, this is a PARENT issue. YOU make sure your kid doesn’t have a vape. We cannot police 1600 kids with vapes and get anything else done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

What in the hell is “visiting another school” supposed to accomplish? Parent your kid and quit wasting other schools’ time. They don’t need to host your kid.

[Anonymous]

My kid would be grounded until summer vacation. No phone, no computer except for homework, no hanging out with friends, can only watch tv with mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

Why no books? I would kill for my kid to actually be bored enough to pick up a book.

My kid would receive the following consequences.

1) Doors come off the hinges in their room
2) They would have to write a paper on the dangers of nicotine
3) They would go to rehab if it's bad
4) Phone is confiscated
5) Laptop for schoolwork only and in a public place with parental supervision
6) Random drug tests
7) Random searches of room/backpack, etc.
8) Car privileges revoked

Wtf?

#insaneparents

Seriously. Didn't we find out that tough love does not work in the 80s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

No books? It’s hard enough to get a teen away from a screen and into a book as it is. What’s no books supposed to accomplish? Vaping is dumb. Vaping in the halls is incredibly stupid. Cognitive testing.

[Anonymous]

What is visiting another school supposed to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for this. the friend was also suspended. He admits he brought the vape.
She does have ADHD and an adjustment to meds might be warranted--thank you.
That said, as someone posted, it's STUPID and careless and I'm just so angry and sad. The school is very strict. If it were cigarettes, they'd suspend, too.
I'm thinking about consequences, including having her visit another school during her suspension.

There would be A LOT of consequences at my house during that suspension period. No screens. No books. No door closed. A room search. Lots and lots of housework and yard work. She'd also be getting a pat down before she heads back to school, and I would be accompanying her to the door of school.

Why no books? I would kill for my kid to actually be bored enough to pick up a book.

My kid would receive the following consequences.

1) Doors come off the hinges in their room
2) They would have to write a paper on the dangers of nicotine
3) They would go to rehab if it's bad
4) Phone is confiscated
5) Laptop for schoolwork only and in a public place with parental supervision
6) Random drug tests
7) Random searches of room/backpack, etc.
8) Car privileges revoked

Wait...there's rehab for vaping???

[Anonymous]

Will this go on her college record? I would tell her she has just sunk her future and she now has to figure out a plan B.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will this go on her college record? I would tell her she has just sunk her future and she now has to figure out a plan B.

That’s a) not true and b) not motivating. If I heard that from my parent I’d think, welp, no point trying anymore since I already sunk my future. A better lesson is that she has made a big mistake with consequences and she needs to figure out how to repair things and do better going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's definitely deserving of being grounded etc. It was dumb. But teens are dumb and do careless things. I'm sure a few of us on here smoked cigarettes as teenagers, but have quit and gone on to become successful, healthy adults. This isn't the end of the world.

There is a major difference between smoking a cigarette and vaping. Yeah, a bunch of us smoked a cigarette here and there as teens and never got addicted. Vaping delivers orders of magnitude more nicotine than a cigarette and is almost instantly addictive. Kids who get started find it almost impossible to stop very quickly. Further, the oils in many vape cartridges have been proven to do serious and permanent damage to the lungs. And this is just nicotine. Never mind the enormous, long-term, potentially life-changing consequences of marijuana on the teenage brain. I'm with whoever said to take the door off the hinges. All privacy and privileges would be revoked until my kid painstakingly re-earned my trust, and woe betide them if they broke it again. You people saying "everyone is doing it" clearly don't care or aren't paying attention.

[Anonymous]

The extreme reactors on this thread remind me of the "my kid would never do that" parent in my kid's friend group. Except several of the other parents have seen that her kid does exactly those things she swears they would never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is visiting another school supposed to do?

NP. Wondered if she was in a private school and would have to visit a dreaded public school as punishment.

Please, OP, don’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what are you doing about it?

If she has ADHD, perhaps she needs a dose adjustment.

What does ADHD have to do with getting caught vaping at school. Am I missing something?

impulsivity; not thinking about consequences of actions; getting caught up in the moment with a friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The extreme reactors on this thread remind me of the "my kid would never do that" parent in my kid's friend group. Except several of the other parents have seen that her kid does exactly those things she swears they would never.

I think that most kids are not that stupid to do it out in the open. That is the biggest difference. Vaping in the school hallway?! Sorry, that is not most kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The extreme reactors on this thread remind me of the "my kid would never do that" parent in my kid's friend group. Except several of the other parents have seen that her kid does exactly those things she swears they would never.

Their kids are just the best at hiding it. They are so wrapped up in their perfect parenting, my would never, that they have no clue what's going on right under their noses.