DD is upset I told her she looked like a homeless person

[Anonymous]

Fix your hair please....Will quickly escalate to "parental estrangement" in this entitled, coddled victim generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She was probably mad because you said “homeless” instead of “unhoused.” Do. The. Work.

exactly. Be more progressive OP, this is Washington DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (F16) appeared a little disheveled, wearing glasses and her hair was a bit of a mess (but otherwise looks normal) when I picked her up from school for a doctor's appointment. I told her to clean up when she got home and that she looked like a homeless person. She gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the ride home and when she went back in and told me that I took it too far and sorry for looking a little tired when she's wearing glasses. I'm just trying to get her to look nice! Is that too much to ask?

My mom had a "shock & awe" approach to some of her messaging. Whatever. I knew she cared and I still remember her points. Most of the time she was very loving and complimentary.

Don't run off and get pregnant!
Brush your hair, you look homeless!
Clean your room, it looks like a pigsty!
No dating professors, that's a mess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of saying you look homeless you should have surprised her with a trip to the salon or the store for a new outfit. If you hate her glasses buy her different ones. Stop being so concerned about the way your kid looks to begin with would be the best idea, that’s a terrible thing to say to anyone especially a teenage daughter. Horrible horrible

Oh please, not all teenage girls would be thrilled about these options, either. Mine would be even more annoyed. While “homeless,” was maybe not the best choice of words, I don’t think it’s all that bad for a parent to occasionally remind their kids that appearances matter, like it or not. A tiny bit of effort can go a long way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. How many of you would judge OP if you saw her with her daughter looking like this in the store? Be honest. Moms worry about their kids' appearances because other moms judge ruthlessly.

Literally not at all. I was a goth teen and wore some outrageous stuff at that age. A teen in glasses with frizzy bedhead wouldn’t even be on my radar. Even a teen in literal pajamas doesn’t make me bat an eye.

[Anonymous]

WTH!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. How many of you would judge OP if you saw her with her daughter looking like this in the store? Be honest. Moms worry about their kids' appearances because other moms judge ruthlessly.

And?

[Anonymous]

I looked awful for years as a teenager. My mom was a saint for not telling me I looked like a homeless person all the time. I probably would have cried and taken great offense, being a melodramatic teenager. Generally speaking, teenagers should have the freedom to look homeless until they grow up and see themselves in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. How many of you would judge OP if you saw her with her daughter looking like this in the store? Be honest. Moms worry about their kids' appearances because other moms judge ruthlessly.

Literally not at all. I was a goth teen and wore some outrageous stuff at that age. A teen in glasses with frizzy bedhead wouldn’t even be on my radar. Even a teen in literal pajamas doesn’t make me bat an eye.

+1. I also would not judge an adult woman with bedhead and glasses at the store. I don't care how other people present themselves.

If I was in a store and heard a woman tell her daughter that she "looked homeless" I'd judge the heck out of her, though. And I'm glad to live in a time when people get judged more for being unkind to their children than for the way their children look. It's not 1955. Thank goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. How many of you would judge OP if you saw her with her daughter looking like this in the store? Be honest. Moms worry about their kids' appearances because other moms judge ruthlessly.

Literally not at all. I was a goth teen and wore some outrageous stuff at that age. A teen in glasses with frizzy bedhead wouldn’t even be on my radar. Even a teen in literal pajamas doesn’t make me bat an eye.

+1. I also would not judge an adult woman with bedhead and glasses at the store. I don't care how other people present themselves.

If I was in a store and heard a woman tell her daughter that she "looked homeless" I'd judge the heck out of her, though. And I'm glad to live in a time when people get judged more for being unkind to their children than for the way their children look. It's not 1955. Thank goodness.

LOL and I would be high fiving the mom and laughingly rolling my eyes with her at the getup of the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. How many of you would judge OP if you saw her with her daughter looking like this in the store? Be honest. Moms worry about their kids' appearances because other moms judge ruthlessly.

Literally not at all. I was a goth teen and wore some outrageous stuff at that age. A teen in glasses with frizzy bedhead wouldn’t even be on my radar. Even a teen in literal pajamas doesn’t make me bat an eye.

+1. I also would not judge an adult woman with bedhead and glasses at the store. I don't care how other people present themselves.

If I was in a store and heard a woman tell her daughter that she "looked homeless" I'd judge the heck out of her, though. And I'm glad to live in a time when people get judged more for being unkind to their children than for the way their children look. It's not 1955. Thank goodness.

LOL and I would be high fiving the mom and laughingly rolling my eyes with her at the getup of the kid.

You wouldn’t look ridiculous at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20 years from now: my daughter never lets me see my grandkids, won't let me host holidays, never wants to vacation with me.

Don't worry, she'll be old too and she just gave her kids a great lesson in how to treat elderly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid aesthetic is grunge so they would probably be pretty happy if I tell them they look like a homeless person (which they often do).

If they don't need glasses, they'll even buy those non-prescription clear glasses to match the look!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20 years from now: my daughter never lets me see my grandkids, won't let me host holidays, never wants to vacation with me.

+1

[Anonymous]

Meh, I've def said this to my kid. She dresses like a slob most days and it drives me nuts. You can still be comfortable and dress nicely. She says "that's her style" but I've also told her that "being lazy getting dressed is not a style."

And FTR, I don't care if she is in sweats some days, even a bunch of days. Just not every day. Especially when she has other, comfortable and cute clothes that I've bought her at her request and are now hanging in her closet.

I had to wear uniforms, dress up for church every Sunday, dress up for holidays (like, white gloves on Easter dress up). It's not too much to ask to dress appropriately.

And yes, I compliment her on lots of things and am not overly burdensome of what I require of her. So, an offhand comment like that . . . . she'll need to get over that.