At what age will your spouse let you retire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM.

My spouse is now WFH, and I cannot stand it, although I love him. Before, I had the house and the day to myself (when it wasn't a day MCPS was closed, or a kid wasn't sick). I could do the grocery shopping, laundry, pay bills, household errands/other chores on my schedule, shower whenever, exercise or not whenever. Now, he is always here. With him WFH and no travel, I never have the house to myself. Ever.

I miss the quiet. I miss the me/alone time.

This. It’s kind of like your boss is always watching you.

[Anonymous]

I’m 40 and my husband is 47. My husband wants to work until he’s at least 70, if not longer if he can. He told me he thought we could financially afford for me to retire at 60

[Anonymous]

40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM.

My spouse is now WFH, and I cannot stand it, although I love him. Before, I had the house and the day to myself (when it wasn't a day MCPS was closed, or a kid wasn't sick). I could do the grocery shopping, laundry, pay bills, household errands/other chores on my schedule, shower whenever, exercise or not whenever. Now, he is always here. With him WFH and no travel, I never have the house to myself. Ever.

I miss the quiet. I miss the me/alone time.

This. It’s kind of like your boss is always watching you.

Maybe the boss would like the house to himself once in awhile. How about you get a part job and get out of his hair for a change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM.

My spouse is now WFH, and I cannot stand it, although I love him. Before, I had the house and the day to myself (when it wasn't a day MCPS was closed, or a kid wasn't sick). I could do the grocery shopping, laundry, pay bills, household errands/other chores on my schedule, shower whenever, exercise or not whenever. Now, he is always here. With him WFH and no travel, I never have the house to myself. Ever.

I miss the quiet. I miss the me/alone time.

This. It’s kind of like your boss is always watching you.

Maybe the boss would like the house to himself once in awhile. How about you get a part job and get out of his hair for a change?

Wasn’t that one of OP’s examples of a shrew? The wife that gave the husband a list of things that needed to be done, then left the husband alone at the house every day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I completely agree with what you said but DCUM women will hang you dry for this thread.

DCUM woman here. I’m team OP

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound resentful of women who SAH. Perhaps you should have chosen a wife who wanted to work or have a career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am getting to near retirement age. My spouse has always been SAHM. The last two years I have been WFH and I say in that time if I go on same floor as wife during day it annoys her. Rarely together. Rarely do anything together 7-6pm everyday.

It seems her routine was I leave for work at 7 get home at 7 last 25 years and me being home in day is annoyance.

She wants me back of office. Now she is telling me I should work till 70.

How do people do retirement? My aunt once said marriage is forever but not for lunch. She also put husband on train. To work and have 12 hours free a day.

My brother is older and just retired his wife just assigns him chores for day then goes out. She was SAHM 30 years and same thing.

How does it work. I honestly hate WFH. Today I told wife I had hour free at lunch. She made me bowl of soup, then gave my 45 minute project. I noticed with my father in law my MIL would give him projects or put him in other room in front of TV then pour him alcohol till he passes out in chair.

Is this why men die young? My sister in law literally would ramp up spending if brother mentioned retirement.

No. That’s not how it works for most families, regardless of employment situation. You are dealing with depression related to pandemic, midlife and lack of social aspect of work so you are magnifying your issues and finding examples supporting your point of view.

[Anonymous]

If you’ve lived different lifestyle, adjusting to a new one is difficult. Most mid-lifers didn’t spend daytime together, had children and jobs or chores to keep a rhythm in life. Pandemic, retirement, work from home, children leaving for college disturbs that rhythm and they feel out if tune and hyper focused on their partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound resentful of women who SAH. Perhaps you should have chosen a wife who wanted to work or have a career.

He would resent her for different reasons and by now if she is retired, he’ll have these issues against her as well.

[Anonymous]

Well, couples with both spouses working from home are hating work from home set up and each other as well. It’s taken away social escape work allowed them.

[Anonymous]

If you like your work, enjoy structured life, socializing at work and how it keeps you young, why would you want to retire? Its not about money, unless that’s the only reason you worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am getting to near retirement age. My spouse has always been SAHM. The last two years I have been WFH and I say in that time if I go on same floor as wife during day it annoys her. Rarely together. Rarely do anything together 7-6pm everyday.

It seems her routine was I leave for work at 7 get home at 7 last 25 years and me being home in day is annoyance.

She wants me back of office. Now she is telling me I should work till 70.

How do people do retirement? My aunt once said marriage is forever but not for lunch. She also put husband on train. To work and have 12 hours free a day.

My brother is older and just retired his wife just assigns him chores for day then goes out. She was SAHM 30 years and same thing.

How does it work. I honestly hate WFH. Today I told wife I had hour free at lunch. She made me bowl of soup, then gave my 45 minute project. I noticed with my father in law my MIL would give him projects or put him in other room in front of TV then pour him alcohol till he passes out in chair.

Is this why men die young? My sister in law literally would ramp up spending if brother mentioned retirement.

Is this about your personal situation or are you just in a negative mindset, hating on random women?

Do you have enough money to retire? Do you have some activity to keep you from going insane? It seems just working from home is wrenching your mental health and marriage, full retirement can push both over the edge. May be your spouse doesn’t want to be around you because you are angry, judgmental and condescending and doesn’t know what to do with your free time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am getting to near retirement age. My spouse has always been SAHM. The last two years I have been WFH and I say in that time if I go on same floor as wife during day it annoys her. Rarely together. Rarely do anything together 7-6pm everyday.

It seems her routine was I leave for work at 7 get home at 7 last 25 years and me being home in day is annoyance.

She wants me back of office. Now she is telling me I should work till 70.

How do people do retirement? My aunt once said marriage is forever but not for lunch. She also put husband on train. To work and have 12 hours free a day.

My brother is older and just retired his wife just assigns him chores for day then goes out. She was SAHM 30 years and same thing.

How does it work. I honestly hate WFH. Today I told wife I had hour free at lunch. She made me bowl of soup, then gave my 45 minute project. I noticed with my father in law my MIL would give him projects or put him in other room in front of TV then pour him alcohol till he passes out in chair.

Is this why men die young? My sister in law literally would ramp up spending if brother mentioned retirement.

Its more like a depression issue than a financial issue. You should do exercise, take walks, find a hobby, make some friends or just move back to work from office set up. I don’t see retirement solving your boredom or resentment. It may lead to divorce and/or depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am getting to near retirement age. My spouse has always been SAHM. The last two years I have been WFH and I say in that time if I go on same floor as wife during day it annoys her. Rarely together. Rarely do anything together 7-6pm everyday.

It seems her routine was I leave for work at 7 get home at 7 last 25 years and me being home in day is annoyance.

She wants me back of office. Now she is telling me I should work till 70.

How do people do retirement? My aunt once said marriage is forever but not for lunch. She also put husband on train. To work and have 12 hours free a day.

My brother is older and just retired his wife just assigns him chores for day then goes out. She was SAHM 30 years and same thing.

How does it work. I honestly hate WFH. Today I told wife I had hour free at lunch. She made me bowl of soup, then gave my 45 minute project. I noticed with my father in law my MIL would give him projects or put him in other room in front of TV then pour him alcohol till he passes out in chair.

Is this why men die young? My sister in law literally would ramp up spending if brother mentioned retirement.

What’s the real issue here? Why do you think she doesn’t want you around? Are you kind, helpful, loving, funny, happy and friendly? Is she having an affair? Is she depressed? May be your anger, contempt and resentment make you undesirable? What else are you bringing to the relationship and what are you doing to improve the quality of the relationship?