At what age will your spouse let you retire?
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Anonymous
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I am getting to near retirement age. My spouse has always been SAHM. The last two years I have been WFH and I say in that time if I go on same floor as wife during day it annoys her. Rarely together. Rarely do anything together 7-6pm everyday.
It seems her routine was I leave for work at 7 get home at 7 last 25 years and me being home in day is annoyance. She wants me back of office. Now she is telling me I should work till 70. How do people do retirement? My aunt once said marriage is forever but not for lunch. She also put husband on train. To work and have 12 hours free a day. My brother is older and just retired his wife just assigns him chores for day then goes out. She was SAHM 30 years and same thing. How does it work. I honestly hate WFH. Today I told wife I had hour free at lunch. She made me bowl of soup, then gave my 45 minute project. I noticed with my father in law my MIL would give him projects or put him in other room in front of TV then pour him alcohol till he passes out in chair. Is this why men die young? My sister in law literally would ramp up spending if brother mentioned retirement. |
Anonymous
| Op, I completely agree with what you said but DCUM women will hang you dry for this thread. |
Anonymous
| I’m a SAHM. DH calculated how much we have to save to retire when he wants (right now the goal is 48), and that’s what we are working toward. Right now that calculation doesn’t include me going back to work. If he wanted me to work so he could retire earlier, I’d try to make that work but it would require a lot of adjustments to a lot of things and I don’t think either of us wants that. |
Anonymous
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What a weird premise. "Let you retire?"
If I'm in a relationship that holds a dynamic where someone is bestowing upon me the gift of retiring, then I'm pretty sure I'd want to work forever. |
Anonymous
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I am a SAHM.
My spouse is now WFH, and I cannot stand it, although I love him. Before, I had the house and the day to myself (when it wasn't a day MCPS was closed, or a kid wasn't sick). I could do the grocery shopping, laundry, pay bills, household errands/other chores on my schedule, shower whenever, exercise or not whenever. Now, he is always here. With him WFH and no travel, I never have the house to myself. Ever. I miss the quiet. I miss the me/alone time. |
Anonymous
| I'm here for the discussion. |
Anonymous
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FWIW, I have always been WFH. When DH started WFH I thought I'd go mad. But I will say, we've adjusted. I now look forward to when he get's off work and comes downstairs. And I never thought I would say that.
That said, he stays really busy working all day, constantly on calls. He is not hanging out at any time during the day wanting to engage with me. He makes his own lunch, takes his own dry cleaning (he wears button down shirts with workout pants for Zoom calls) and my schedule doesn't change. |
Anonymous
| Wow, that's a hell of a marriage issue. My husband and I used to often get lunch together when we both worked in offices, and now we both work from home. We are "allowed" to retire whenever we want. |
Anonymous
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Wow, your spouse has a lot of power in your marriage if she's the one who gets to decide when you retire.
We both WFH and probably will for some time. We are about to break ground on a new house that includes 2 completely separate, not close together, home offices. |
Anonymous
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I stay home with all household duties and childcare, my husband works. Our house is tiny and since he's been working from home, I can see how terribly unproductive he actually is. It makes me have less respect for him. *I* work harder than he does, and my "job" isn't from just 9-5! What's even worse is that even though he now works from home, with plenty of breaks, he still does nothing around the house.
So, yes, I feel that the pandemic has opened people's eyes to how much work their spouse actually does, and that sometimes the outcome is a bit disappointing. Coming back to your situation, OP, you're obviously a troll and your premise is obviously crafted to start a fight. There is no "letting". I don't believe a word of your story of so many submissive men and demanding women. My husband has the right to decide when he will retire. If I go back to work, I will have that same right. It's got nothing to do with the location of your workspace. |
Anonymous
Retire at 48? |
Anonymous
DP. It's the FIRE mindset of a lot of people. Financial Independence, Retire Early |
Anonymous
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The question is how do both of you make changes to accommodate both spouses not having any defined place to go. She has to make compromises too; the answer is not that you work until you die.
The answer also is probably not that you both get to sit around the house and annoy each other. If she's in the house all day watching tv, she should not be able to tell you to go do a project. However, if she's in the house all day being productive in some manner, then you don't have the right just to lounge around. So, what will you both do with your 24 hours a day? Will you volunteer? Find a hobby that gets you out of the house during the day? Work part time? Both of you will need to make changes to your family routine. |
Anonymous
I miss the house alone time but I have so much more flexibility with my husband home as he will do pick up/drop off and if I want to do errands/go out its not a problem at all. |
Anonymous
| We both WOH. Dh sometimes is at WFH and then he does laundry etc between calls. Aiming to retire by 55 for both of us. We like spending time together. When he works from home he comes gets me for lunch (my office is near home). |