Do you think your kids will find good partners and have happy relationships

[Anonymous]

What you see in newsfeed and Instagram and whatnot, effects subconsciously. It’s a laughing matter if anyone commits to their partner before 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if they do marry, what are the odds of them staying in one for more than 10 years?

Yup. Most marriages around me started between 27-37 and ended within 1-10 years.

Highest divorce rate seems in 40-50 age range around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if they do marry, what are the odds of them staying in one for more than 10 years?

Yup. Most marriages around me started between 27-37 and ended within 1-10 years.

This really varies. I'm 55 and have been married for 30 years. I actually know very few divorced people, though I'm not religious at all. All my college friends who married are still with their first husbands. Most of the people I work with have been married for years. My 3 closest friends from high school have all been married 20-30 years. In my bookclub that's been meeting for 15 years, just one divorce.

[Anonymous]

Majority is still on their first marriages past midlife in my social circle but next generation either not getting married past 30 or getting divorced quickly.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how things are working out in religious communities? Any better or worse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if they do marry, what are the odds of them staying in one for more than 10 years?

Yup. Most marriages around me started between 27-37 and ended within 1-10 years.

This really varies. I'm 55 and have been married for 30 years. I actually know very few divorced people, though I'm not religious at all. All my college friends who married are still with their first husbands. Most of the people I work with have been married for years. My 3 closest friends from high school have all been married 20-30 years. In my bookclub that's been meeting for 15 years, just one divorce.

Same. I’ve been married over 25 years, none of my siblings or DH’s siblings divorced and only a handful of divorces amongst all of our friends. My DD is getting married in her early 20’s to a stable, loving young man.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think either of mine will have good relationships. One is too clingy and controlling and the other too detached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine was blowing steam about how her only nephew has gotten into a relationship with someone with lots of personality, family and financial issues and how stressed his family is about this. It seems lately everything I hear or read shows young generation struggling with, mental health, existential crisis, identity struggles, gender issues, debt and overspending problems, dating dilemmas, lack of patience and fidelity, relationship issues, denial of alcoholism, disinterest in children, divorces etc. If you have young adults, what do you see on ground? Is it going to be hard to find loving partners and have trustworthy long term relationships?

they'll probably be able to shop the addicts, alcoholics and womanizers. I don't think the average person anyone can ID mental disorders versus a spout of stress without lots of time spent with each other plus knowing the symptoms/patterns.

Maybe instead of weeks and weeks of hetero/homo $ex and gender dysphoria education in K-12, the country has mental disorder ID class for half of that. Learn about Narcissists, High functioning Autism, ADHD, Bipolar, Borderline, Schitzo and how they also are drivers of anxiety and depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

No, your son will have to figure out how to hold it together. Women are looking to marry, not adopt grown men.

Yes be careful here Moms and dads. Marry off your delinquent son and >>>50% chance there is divorce with kids and you're left holding the bag during his custody time. And financing it. Alternatively, you can let your grandchildren fend for themselves under his care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

No, your son will have to figure out how to hold it together. Women are looking to marry, not adopt grown men.

He may find a nice bossy girl who likes to organize everything to her own liking, that could work well for both.

My parents had this dynamic. Eventually my mom got tired of having a perpetual teenager in the house and filed for divorce.

Never recognizing, of course, the role she once enjoyed in being able to run the show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

No, your son will have to figure out how to hold it together. Women are looking to marry, not adopt grown men.

He may find a nice bossy girl who likes to organize everything to her own liking, that could work well for both.

My parents had this dynamic. Eventually my mom got tired of having a perpetual teenager in the house and filed for divorce.

I love how someone with a base level of organizing and staying on time gets called Bossy relative to someone with no executive functioning skills. Fun times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

No, your son will have to figure out how to hold it together. Women are looking to marry, not adopt grown men.

He may find a nice bossy girl who likes to organize everything to her own liking, that could work well for both.

My parents had this dynamic. Eventually my mom got tired of having a perpetual teenager in the house and filed for divorce.

Never recognizing, of course, the role she once enjoyed in being able to run the show.

When your only two options are Run the Show versus Let the Show Fall & Burn Because your Partner Can't Do Anything, you run the show and then divorce when the kids get out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if they do marry, what are the odds of them staying in one for more than 10 years?

Yup. Most marriages around me started between 27-37 and ended within 1-10 years.

I'm the PP with three girls who got married in their mid-20s. One is already well past the 10 year mark; the second is getting close; and the third has maybe 4 years behind her. And they're all fine, with zero indication of any serious relationship problems whatsoever. Why is everybody so cynical and dysfunctional?

This is exactly what everyone would have said about my grandmother's marriage. My grandfather died at 86. My grandmother, then 85 told us the truth: they had not slept together over 30 years. She had enough of him, but did not tell anyone because she never planned on leaving. They slept in the same bedroom.

My mother who is 64 years old. She stayed with my dad until he passed this year. My dad was pretty much one of the PP's sons: introverted day dreamer with ADHD. He was well respected(highly educated) and well liked by family and friends. But he was an awful husband, and my mother never told a soul. Some of us children saw it decades ago. Some of us realized it in the last years of my father's life. My parents never divorced: they stopped sleeping with each other 8 years before my father passed away. It was an unhappy marriage, but they did not want to split. And they hid it well.

I hope your children are as happy in marriage as you think they are. The truth is that many people feign happiness because they don't want to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think either of mine will have good relationships. One is too clingy and controlling and the other too detached.

Ironically, the bolded child stands a good chance.

I have realized that at least half of happy marriages have a bossy wife. Otherwise, many men don't do shit, and the women get resentful and stop sleeping with them.

The "nice" women in my family are taken for granted by their spouses. Those who are no nonsense don't let things slide to the point where they stop caring about their spouses. The controlling women make sure that their husbands are actively involved in everything.

[Anonymous]

My mom was opposite of bossy, still took take care of kids and home, dad recognized her workload and offered her to become a SAHM. They grew comfortable with these roles and loved each other and the kids. It was a lot for mom to manage with a full house and no help but she mostly pulled it off with grace.