Do you think your kids will find good partners and have happy relationships

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine was blowing steam about how her only nephew has gotten into a relationship with someone with lots of personality, family and financial issues and how stressed his family is about this. It seems lately everything I hear or read shows young generation struggling with, mental health, existential crisis, identity struggles, gender issues, debt and overspending problems, dating dilemmas, lack of patience and fidelity, relationship issues, denial of alcoholism, disinterest in children, divorces etc. If you have young adults, what do you see on ground? Is it going to be hard to find loving partners and have trustworthy long term relationships?

[Anonymous]

It’s tough to find good partners and tough for them to hold on to each other. Parents wanting educated, accomplished, polite, understanding, supportive, debt free, failed relationship history free, partners from financially stable, divorce free, drama free families. In current dating environment, it’s like winning jackpot.

[Anonymous]

No, I will be surprised if either of the marry.

[Anonymous]

No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

[Anonymous]

Even with all that, odds of having long term relationships are very low with two career- two kid juggle without patience and dedication, specially as options outside of the marriage tend to start looking more relaxed to one or both spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s tough to find good partners and tough for them to hold on to each other. Parents wanting educated, accomplished, polite, understanding, supportive, debt free, failed relationship history free, partners from financially stable, divorce free, drama free families. In current dating environment, it’s like winning jackpot.

Interesting.

We have four daughters. Three of them are married, one is single. The three married ones all got married in their mid-20s -- a DCUM no no -- and they are all in very happy relationships with guys who fit every one of the criteria that you have described. We couldn't have asked for better SILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

I’m seeing the same around me, touching or passing 30 without marriages or serious relationships and I’m talking about apparently well to do youth, with good looks, pleasant personalities, college degrees and jobs. Some settling and then realization leading to breakups and divorces.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 young adults (20F and 22M). The younger one is still dating her HS sweetheart (5 yrs now), the older one had one serious relationship, but they called it off; may reconnect because they are still in touch. Honestly, I loved the girl my son was dating, wouldn't mind having her as my DIL, so I think my son has a good radar and will make a good choice. It's a bit trickier with the guy my daughter is dating because he was 17 when they met and let's just say I was not excited about some of the stuff he did back then. But he's definitely matured, has shown a good character, and I think he'll eventually make a fine partner; we'll see whether or not it will be with my daughter. So, bottom line, there are good young people out there.

[Anonymous]

It all comes down to the parents modeling good behavior and healthy attitudes and choices. You don't see a lot of that these days.

[Anonymous]

I have boys currently 14 and 17. We have brought them up with the idea that finding a "nice girl," getting married and having kids is the key to real happiness. It needs to be a goal and one that is sadly overlooked by too many today, especially when they are in college/ grad school. There will never be as many opportunities as there are at that time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No idea, but my daughter will need to find someone willing to live with BOSSY, and my son will need to find someone willing to take over scheduling/organizing/socializing, since he's a daydreaming introvert with ADHD.

I have 10 cousins. Besides me, only one of the ten is married with kids. Another two are married but no kids. The rest are in relationships but not married and no kids. We're all 35-50. It's weird.

No, your son will have to figure out how to hold it together. Women are looking to marry, not adopt grown men.

[Anonymous]

Same as PP, my DS is a great kid but has ADHD and I just don’t know if he will be able to maintain a relationship.

[Anonymous]

I do, actually. Maybe that’s naive but I do. I worry more about higher education, job, finances, whether they will settle close to spouse and me or far away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have boys currently 14 and 17. We have brought them up with the idea that finding a "nice girl," getting married and having kids is the key to real happiness. It needs to be a goal and one that is sadly overlooked by too many today, especially when they are in college/ grad school. There will never be as many opportunities as there are at that time!

100 percent, also mom of boys.

[Anonymous]

Yes. But they are little so lots can change. But as a parent, raising them to have healthy relationships is one of my top goals. Maybe they won't want a life partner, and that's ok too. But I still hope their relationships with others are healthy and happy.

I care much more about this than academic or financial success.