Sister saying we shouldn’t use cousins second home for vacation and should pay for our trips

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You offer to pay, cousin declines, you stay at her home and give her a nice gift. Easy-peasy. Your sister isn't wise to how things are done.

+1 but you also need to figure out why your sister said something so weird and strangely negative in the first place.

My guess? She loves being more wealthy than her sister. Now she sees sister will have a cool and fun vacation and that the cousin is being generous with—gasp!!—someone who is not her (the sister) that she wants to spoil the fun.

Sister thinks the OP is too “poor” to “deserve” a vacation.

PP

[Anonymous]

Cousin offered because cousin likes OP and is delighted to extend hospitality. Sister is jealous and tries to make OP feel bad. OP ignores sister and has a wonderful vacation. The End.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.


I have a sister like you and I am wealthy. I could see myself saying this too her. The reason is that my sister only ever travels this way. Every vacation is from mooching. She will call up relatives who live in cool places and ask to come stay with them for a week. It puts people in an awkward position and some people are too polite to say no. I would never use someone else's place even when they offer. I am more self sufficient. I take trips I can fund. My sister relies on others-- its gross.

I find this repellent. I think generosity is a great quality, and you obviously disagree.

OP, I am in your sister/cousin’s position and my sister is in yours. My sister’s family takes most of their vacations to our vacation home, and I am SO HAPPY that it means her family has a vacation (and that our home gets used). I WANT them to use our house. You are most definitely not being tacky by staying at your cousin’s. Bring a hostess gift (food is always good) and send a note and maybe a small gift card to a local coffee shop or restaurant after your stay. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your story is incomplete. You must be missing something.

It's probably the troll that admitted they love to post threads about stories from movies or books etc because they find this all so very interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

I have a sister like you and I am wealthy. I could see myself saying this too her. The reason is that my sister only ever travels this way. Every vacation is from mooching. She will call up relatives who live in cool places and ask to come stay with them for a week. It puts people in an awkward position and some people are too polite to say no. I would never use someone else's place even when they offer. I am more self sufficient. I take trips I can fund. My sister relies on others-- its gross.

I'm sorry you're so insecure. Must be hard. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

I have a sister like you and I am wealthy. I could see myself saying this too her. The reason is that my sister only ever travels this way. Every vacation is from mooching. She will call up relatives who live in cool places and ask to come stay with them for a week. It puts people in an awkward position and some people are too polite to say no. I would never use someone else's place even when they offer. I am more self sufficient. I take trips I can fund. My sister relies on others-- its gross.

Interesting.

There are some culturally/socioeconomic assumptions and snobbery going on. There are loads of people who enjoy being hosts. There is no hard and fast rule on this. If someone has offered, then it’s ok to take them up. And it’s even OK to ask, and it’s OK to say no.

Everything is just noise.

[Anonymous]

Bring a hostess gift, be respectful guests, and send a thank you note.

Really, that’s it. Your sisters outrage seems like a performative display of her own wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adding, meaning we won’t just use the house and see my husbands family but not see her.

This is fine! Get both cousin and her spouse to agree and do it. Give them some flowered later or a fruit basket thank you.

Getting a trusted friend or family to spend a week in our vacant house or rental is fine for most people . Your sister is just jealous and making trouble. Just tell her no this is all set and everyone’s happy with it, end of subject.

If sister keeps up at it, ask her what her problem is. Tell her to go bully someone else. End of subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cousin offered because cousin likes OP and is delighted to extend hospitality. Sister is jealous and tries to make OP feel bad. OP ignores sister and has a wonderful vacation. The End.

Correct!

Enjoy your trip and visit to your in laws.

[Anonymous]

Op, do you always let your sister bully you?
Regardless of your details, this is the bigger issue. You let her speak rudely to you. You get to decide re: your life. If you truly believe that accepting their offer reflects a reasonable decision - stop looking to your sister for input.

[Anonymous]

OP, Reciprocity is a good thing. Also, be an extremely good guest. Leave the house better than how you have found it, don't break or misuse things - and send your cousin a great gift.

Is your sister embarrassed that you are poor and may be seen as a moocher?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

I have a sister like you and I am wealthy. I could see myself saying this too her. The reason is that my sister only ever travels this way. Every vacation is from mooching. She will call up relatives who live in cool places and ask to come stay with them for a week. It puts people in an awkward position and some people are too polite to say no. I would never use someone else's place even when they offer. I am more self sufficient. I take trips I can fund. My sister relies on others-- its gross.

You are disgusting.

+1. OP did not call anyone to ask for a place to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cousin offered because cousin likes OP and is delighted to extend hospitality. Sister is jealous and tries to make OP feel bad. OP ignores sister and has a wonderful vacation. The End.

Correct!

Enjoy your trip and visit to your in laws.

Here's your answer. Also, maybe I missed it, but why and how does your sister even know about your plans with your cousin? None of this is her business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cousin offered because cousin likes OP and is delighted to extend hospitality. Sister is jealous and tries to make OP feel bad. OP ignores sister and has a wonderful vacation. The End.

Correct!

Enjoy your trip and visit to your in laws.

Here's your answer. Also, maybe I missed it, but why and how does your sister even know about your plans with your cousin? None of this is her business.

Because the cousin or OP or some other family member told the sister, and the sister was correctly able to read between the lines and was embarrassed for her sister.

No one offers to delightedly extend hospitality and OP is a pile-on. Unless the cousin called OP and begged her to visit, I do not buy OP's story.

Feel sorry for OP's sister who is saddled with OP.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

How much should the thank you gift cost?

Thanks!

We’re new to traveling and guest houses because we’re poor and lame.