Sister saying we shouldn’t use cousins second home for vacation and should pay for our trips

[Anonymous]

We are going to visit my husbands family, but I also have family nearby (my cousin) and she generously offered her second house for us to use. She offered it to us, and I accepted. Is that wrong?

My sister is appalled, saying that we shouldn’t vacation if we can’t afford it. She says we shouldn’t vacation if we can’t afford to properly house our own family.

It makes me wonder…was it totally tacky of our family to accept the cousins vacation home? My cousin was insistent and is thrilled we are using it, and we’ll visit and hang out with her of course also.

[Anonymous]

Huh? Your sister is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Adding, meaning we won’t just use the house and see my husbands family but not see her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Your sister is ridiculous.

I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking here. DCUM is so critical I figure they’ll tell me the truth.

[Anonymous]

You should offer to cover the expenses but its fine to use it.

[Anonymous]

When we offer our beach house we mean it. Your sister sounds jealous?

[Anonymous]

Your sister is immature and jealous. Ignore.

[Anonymous]

I think your story is incomplete. You must be missing something.

[Anonymous]

You offer to pay, cousin declines, you stay at her home and give her a nice gift. Easy-peasy. Your sister isn't wise to how things are done.

[Anonymous]

Please stay with your cousin and have an awesome time.

Your sister is being a bit over the top

[Anonymous]

OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You offer to pay, cousin declines, you stay at her home and give her a nice gift. Easy-peasy. Your sister isn't wise to how things are done.

+1 but you also need to figure out why your sister said something so weird and strangely negative in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Go and enjoy!

But I wouldn’t make it a regular thing everything I went to visit these other family members.

[Anonymous]

I'd use this event as the opportunity to stop sharing so much information about your family's life with your sister. She can't handle it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe sister is saying this to establish a precedent for you not to ask her for anything.

Or, maybe sister is pissed that someone else is so gracious while sister is selfish and wants to be justified in her selfishness.

Whatever the case, go and enjoy. Of course you'll be respectful of the place and leave it clean.