Sister saying we shouldn’t use cousins second home for vacation and should pay for our trips

[Anonymous]

I owned a second home for years and offered it to family at no cost. Just leave it clean, don't leave any food behind, and wash any linens/towels you use.

That's it. Offer to pay for utilities. Send a thank you note. Lose your sister.

[Anonymous]

It was offered and you accepted. Take your cousin’s family out to dinner, bring a hostess gift for the house or send one when you get home after you see her style. Maybe offer to pay for a cleaning crew when you leave - basically leave it the same or nicer than you found it.

[Anonymous]

I completely disagree with your sister. We have a beach house and regularly offer it to extended family and friends to use when we are not there. People always leave it as clean as they found it, leave a nice hostess gift or gift cards for a restaurant they know we love, or something like that. It’s nice fir us to have people at the house, we’re glad it’s being used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the intention of the trip is to visit your husband‘s family, then why isn’t anybody from that side of the family offering their house as a place to stay?

Maybe no one on that side of the family has an extra house available? You know not everyone has 2 houses right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

Your sister is a raging B and you should never share any plans with her. Limit contact, she clearly gets off on putting you down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

I have a sister like you and I am wealthy. I could see myself saying this too her. The reason is that my sister only ever travels this way. Every vacation is from mooching. She will call up relatives who live in cool places and ask to come stay with them for a week. It puts people in an awkward position and some people are too polite to say no. I would never use someone else's place even when they offer. I am more self sufficient. I take trips I can fund. My sister relies on others-- its gross.

You are disgusting.

[Anonymous]

How is any of this your sister's business?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should offer to cover the expenses but its fine to use it.

+1 You don't say if your cousin's vacation house is also a rental (in which case you might want to offer part of the rental fee) but your cousin probably has a cleaning company come through after the home is used so you should offer to pay for that. And, of course, you will want to give/send a very nice thank you gift after you use the home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

My sister is quite wealthy, and we are not. We do NOT “mooch” off of anyone and I am very sensitive to that.

My sister goes on elaborate vacations. We do not. She definitely views us as….poor? Borrowers? I’m not sure.

My cousin is delighted we can use her home. Genuinely.

This makes it quite mean for your sister to have said what she did. Of course you can take your cousin up on her offer! We among the less wealthy are often more generous about sharing things. My dad has a modest summer house that he’s always shared freely with family and friends. It never occurred to any of us that they should give us money for it. That’d be awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are going to visit my husbands family, but I also have family nearby (my cousin) and she generously offered her second house for us to use. She offered it to us, and I accepted. Is that wrong?

My sister is appalled, saying that we shouldn’t vacation if we can’t afford it. She says we shouldn’t vacation if we can’t afford to properly house our own family.

It makes me wonder…was it totally tacky of our family to accept the cousins vacation home? My cousin was insistent and is thrilled we are using it, and we’ll visit and hang out with her of course also.

I agree but I accepted it would only be on the condition that I paid prevailing rent and for professional cleaning after leaving.

[Anonymous]

Your sister is a hater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is a hater.

I was going to call her something harsher.

The only response OP should have given her sister is a flabbergasted “Why do you think this is any of your business?” Then stare at her until she gets uncomfortable and walks away.

[Anonymous]

Sister needs to mind her own business. If I were your cousin, I’d be delighted to share my home, to help out, and to spend some time visiting.

[Anonymous]

Tell your sister that your cousin happily offered, you've accepted, and she needs to mind her own bee's wax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is immature and jealous. Ignore.

+1

Your sister sounds mean and jealous of you. Ignore her and enjoy your holiday!