How to outdo annoying SIL

[Anonymous]

You need to start looking for higher paying employment.

[Anonymous]

Start doing volunteer work and brag about that. At least there’s some social benefit to that.

There is no “winning” ever if all either of you do is to keep escalating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol this is foul. You felt superior to her until she landed more wealth and better status than you and now you gotta figure out a way to reassert yourself as superior. Kinda weird, sis. Poop on her doorstep or something, idk.

OP here. This is exactly it. I had more status than her all these years and I could tell she was jealous of me and would be a mean-girl and put me down even though I was always nice and wanted to be a friend. Turns out, she wanted what I had in spades and now that she has more resources than me, she is outdoing me in every way possible!

It IS really weird but I feel so awkward.

Sorry but you deserve this.

Agree. What comes around goes around. Now you want what she has. You only got along with her because you felt benevolent towards her and now that she has surpassed you, you are unable to cope. You never truly liked her or considered her a friend.

Op here. I completely understand my petty feelings are ridiculous and not very gracious. But it’s not cool that you accuse me of being unkind to her. SHE openly mocked and hated me since the day my DH brought me home. She made fun of everything I said or wanted and made me feel bad. I was utterly perplexed for the longest time and I couldn’t understand why she would be so hell bent on making me miserable when I was nothing but nice. But I kept my distance as it was obvious that she didn’t not want me around. It was only when she started having the resources through new rich DH that I noticed she…wanted to be me the whole time. And was utterly jealous and insecure she couldn’t stand to be around me. Everything she made fun of me for, she is now buying, getting at a much grander level than I ever thought to. All the while she gives her brother (my husband) and I annoying pitying looks.

So of course I’m annoyed and wish I could put her back in her place!

I’m the PP that said ignore the haters. I was NOT patting OP on the back for her feelings. I wasn’t shaming her for those feelings, like some PPs, and I was back-patting the self awareness.

OP, the bolded sheds more light on the change with your sister. It sounds like she had always been putting you down for your choices under the guise of being a tomboy. Are you saying she would criticize you for caring about clothes or style or anything material as though she was too cool to care about that sort of stuff? But now that she can afford clothes and fancy things, she’s jumped on the bandwagon and now looking down at you from a higher seat on the bandwagon? If so, that’s frustrating. It sounds like you’ve been shamed by her on both sides of the scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lol this is foul. You felt superior to her until she landed more wealth and better status than you and now you gotta figure out a way to reassert yourself as superior. Kinda weird, sis. Poop on her doorstep or something, idk.

OP here. This is exactly it. I had more status than her all these years and I could tell she was jealous of me and would be a mean-girl and put me down even though I was always nice and wanted to be a friend. Turns out, she wanted what I had in spades and now that she has more resources than me, she is outdoing me in every way possible!

It IS really weird but I feel so awkward.

Sorry but you deserve this.

Agree. What comes around goes around. Now you want what she has. You only got along with her because you felt benevolent towards her and now that she has surpassed you, you are unable to cope. You never truly liked her or considered her a friend.

Op here. I completely understand my petty feelings are ridiculous and not very gracious. But it’s not cool that you accuse me of being unkind to her. SHE openly mocked and hated me since the day my DH brought me home. She made fun of everything I said or wanted and made me feel bad. I was utterly perplexed for the longest time and I couldn’t understand why she would be so hell bent on making me miserable when I was nothing but nice. But I kept my distance as it was obvious that she didn’t not want me around. It was only when she started having the resources through new rich DH that I noticed she…wanted to be me the whole time. And was utterly jealous and insecure she couldn’t stand to be around me. Everything she made fun of me for, she is now buying, getting at a much grander level than I ever thought to. All the while she gives her brother (my husband) and I annoying pitying looks.

So of course I’m annoyed and wish I could put her back in her place!

I’m the PP that said ignore the haters. I was NOT patting OP on the back for her feelings. I wasn’t shaming her for those feelings, like some PPs, and I was back-patting the self awareness.

OP, the bolded sheds more light on the change with your sister. It sounds like she had always been putting you down for your choices under the guise of being a tomboy. Are you saying she would criticize you for caring about clothes or style or anything material as though she was too cool to care about that sort of stuff? But now that she can afford clothes and fancy things, she’s jumped on the bandwagon and now looking down at you from a higher seat on the bandwagon? If so, that’s frustrating. It sounds like you’ve been shamed by her on both sides of the scale.

Op here. Yes. I can’t seem to win. Now she’s out-doing me and pitying me for not being able to afford what she can. Yuck.

[Anonymous]

You know she’s not your friend — she never has been or ever will be. The only way forward is to acknowledge this to yourself and keep your distance. This is not a problem you need to find another solution to.

[Anonymous]

Make it clear you don't care and focus your energy on a personal goal, like updating your professional skills or training in something athletic or creative.

[Anonymous]

I am not a jealous person. Dh earns a seven figure income. We live below our means but many probably think we have a lavish lifestyle.

Even when we didn’t have money in grad school or just starting out with student loans, I didn’t feel jealousy of others.

[Anonymous]

You already know the answer OP. The best revenge is indifference to your SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL was like this. She completed with everything especially her house. When they married BIL had 250k saved up, which seemed like a lot back then. DH had nothing saved and they made the same income.

SIL flaunted that she could afford more. She bought a new build and then we bought a new build also. Ours was around 50k more than hers, she was irate. She bought another new house while waiting for the first new build. It was about 200k more. All she talked about is how her house was custom and ours was not. So she tried to back out of the first house but they said no. So she was on the hook owning 2 homes. She listed the first one as soon as she got possession of it and sold at a loss. There are many more examples.

She also instructed her husband to ask mine how big my diamond engagement ring was. Then surprise, hers was just a bit bigger.

Also she kissed ass to MIL and tried to act like they are best friends to rub my nose in it because MIL and I had issues. Happiest day of my life was when BIL filed for divorce and her and my MIL imploded.

Oh the best part was my DH ended up making triple what her husband makes and we could afford a much nicer house down the road, like 2.5 million. I am sure that killed her. I think it may have led to her divorce

Who are you describing as just like your SIL , OP or her SIL? It's hard to tell. Also in both of these examples seems like both people are actively playing the petty one upping game. if you weren't how would you know all the details? You sound just as money conscious as your former SIL. Why would you care if she had a bigger ring?

+1

This is the worst stunted mean girl neighbor story ever, but oh too common, sadly.

"OMG SHE has something I don't have - get her!!"

Grow up, OP.

[Anonymous]

Honest but uncomfortable truth. You are either very immature or very mentally ill. Either way, therapy is the answer.

[Anonymous]

You're mad you lost OP. SIL wins.

[Anonymous]

what does your brother think?

[Anonymous]

stop feeding the troll! she only gets her jollies if you react. bragging is no fun when your target doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

She is not responsible for “triggering” you or “bringing out” anything in you. Take responsibility for your own feelings, flaws and choices.

That would be like saying my sister “triggered” me to shoplift or something. Nope, and nuh-uh. You are grown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is not responsible for “triggering” you or “bringing out” anything in you. Take responsibility for your own feelings, flaws and choices.

That would be like saying my sister “triggered” me to shoplift or something. Nope, and nuh-uh. You are grown.

OP here. I am not saying she is CAUSING me to feel a certain way. I mean to say that I feel a certain way by being around her.