Family’s insensitive/racist comments

[Anonymous]

So woke OP. Paco the Taco said in an affectionate way? I’d buy that stuffie tomorrow!

[Anonymous]

OP, if you want to help your biracial daughter, you need to listen to actual BIRACIAL people, not just white women or white women married to minority men. As for the "isolating my child from her cousins," I assure you I have never felt "lesser than" my white family members. The only times I felt isolated were when Hispanic girls wouldn't talk to/ be friends with me because I'm half-white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP, if you want to help your biracial daughter, you need to listen to actual BIRACIAL people, not just white women or white women married to minority men. As for the "isolating my child from her cousins," I assure you I have never felt "lesser than" my white family members. The only times I felt isolated were when Hispanic girls wouldn't talk to/ be friends with me because I'm half-white.

Truth. Mixed woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too bad you and your DH rushed into this marriage he should have had the opportunity meet your racist family before deciding to spend his life with you.

Oh trust me on this. His family is probably more racist.

You seriously don't think minority families are racist? She only needs to talk to them privately and in a nice way.

+1

My Indian grandfather died 15 years ago but he used to say the N-word until his dying day.

Well im sorry you didnt take the opportunity to correct him. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too bad you and your DH rushed into this marriage he should have had the opportunity meet your racist family before deciding to spend his life with you.

Oh trust me on this. His family is probably more racist.

You seriously don't think minority families are racist? She only needs to talk to them privately and in a nice way.

+1

My Indian grandfather died 15 years ago but he used to say the N-word until his dying day.

Well im sorry you didnt take the opportunity to correct him. Lesson learned.

Yes because teenagers and pre-teens are great at correcting people and old men just love being corrected 🙄

[Anonymous]

I feel ya OP. My brother and his wife have made racist jokes for years and I often bristled/ told them it wasn’t funny.

When we adopted our beautiful DC of color, they continued to make racist jokes for a short time until I called them out privately. I told them firmly that they were now an aunt and uncle to a person of color and the racist jokes had to stop. Happily, they have. Plus they were very welcoming to our child when they met her.

Our oldest child’s spouse comes from a family who apparently used to make a lot of racist remarks. Our child’s spouse talked to them about the challenges of multiracial families and their obligation to exercise their Christian values of showing generosity and love (insert whatever faith since all world religions call for the Golden Rule). They were also very welcoming with our youngest DC when they met her and continue to show kind interest in her.

I think a mixture of setting boundaries making clear that you will Not tolerate disrespect for your loved ones of color and being open to forging positive relationships works - as long as they have ears to hear and hearts to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too bad you and your DH rushed into this marriage he should have had the opportunity meet your racist family before deciding to spend his life with you.

Oh trust me on this. His family is probably more racist.

You seriously don't think minority families are racist? She only needs to talk to them privately and in a nice way.

+1

My Indian grandfather died 15 years ago but he used to say the N-word until his dying day.

Minorities are probably worse actually.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

It's actually true, but whatever helps you sleep at night..

[Anonymous]

I’m more concerned about OP, marrying a Latin man, never challenging her family’s views until she got knocked up. Any day, week or year would have been a good time to challenge. She won’t have to tools to raise that kid…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel ya OP. My brother and his wife have made racist jokes for years and I often bristled/ told them it wasn’t funny.

When we adopted our beautiful DC of color, they continued to make racist jokes for a short time until I called them out privately. I told them firmly that they were now an aunt and uncle to a person of color and the racist jokes had to stop. Happily, they have. Plus they were very welcoming to our child when they met her.

Our oldest child’s spouse comes from a family who apparently used to make a lot of racist remarks. Our child’s spouse talked to them about the challenges of multiracial families and their obligation to exercise their Christian values of showing generosity and love (insert whatever faith since all world religions call for the Golden Rule). They were also very welcoming with our youngest DC when they met her and continue to show kind interest in her.

I think a mixture of setting boundaries making clear that you will Not tolerate disrespect for your loved ones of color and being open to forging positive relationships works - as long as they have ears to hear and hearts to change.

Excellent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m more concerned about OP, marrying a Latin man, never challenging her family’s views until she got knocked up. Any day, week or year would have been a good time to challenge. She won’t have to tools to raise that kid…

What exactly are the family’s views?

Saying Paco the taco, and yes it’s a restaurant everywhere, and racing to guess at nasty “views,” is quite the leap.

If you’re sensitive to Paco the taco just tell them No Jokes, tell them nicely and firmly. If they’re good people they’re try to remember and adjust their comments and jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m more concerned about OP, marrying a Latin man, never challenging her family’s views until she got knocked up. Any day, week or year would have been a good time to challenge. She won’t have to tools to raise that kid…

And, of course, her family's *never* met the husband. Really? What's the excuse here, and no, COVID doesn't count.

The funny thing is that Latinos are among the most insensitive people there are - these kinds of comments are commonplace. It's a hugely diverse world, and a daughter of a white/Latino couple won't qualify as "biracial" because Latino isn't a race, no more than marrying an Italian immigrant made their kids biracial 100 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too bad you and your DH rushed into this marriage he should have had the opportunity meet your racist family before deciding to spend his life with you.

Oh trust me on this. His family is probably more racist.

You seriously don't think minority families are racist? She only needs to talk to them privately and in a nice way.

+1

My Indian grandfather died 15 years ago but he used to say the N-word until his dying day.

Minorities are probably worse actually.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

It's actually true, but whatever helps you sleep at night..

"Actually", eh? Like you can prove this somehow?

[Anonymous]

1) You married someone and withheld the fact that your family is racist against him.

2) Instead of calling out said racist family, you come onto an anonymous forum asking what to do.

3) You had unprotected sex. during. A. PANDEMIC. What an incredibly selfish thing to do. Not to mention stupid for elevating your own risk.

4) Stop thinking of names. Abort or adopt out. If you care one iota about this child, either prevent her suffering or let her have a chance with a mother who can rub together a pair of brain cells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) You married someone and withheld the fact that your family is racist against him.

2) Instead of calling out said racist family, you come onto an anonymous forum asking what to do.

3) You had unprotected sex. during. A. PANDEMIC. What an incredibly selfish thing to do. Not to mention stupid for elevating your own risk.

4) Stop thinking of names. Abort or adopt out. If you care one iota about this child, either prevent her suffering or let her have a chance with a mother who can rub together a pair of brain cells.

Troll attempt D+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more concerned about OP, marrying a Latin man, never challenging her family’s views until she got knocked up. Any day, week or year would have been a good time to challenge. She won’t have to tools to raise that kid…

And, of course, her family's *never* met the husband. Really? What's the excuse here, and no, COVID doesn't count.

The funny thing is that Latinos are among the most insensitive people there are - these kinds of comments are commonplace. It's a hugely diverse world, and a daughter of a white/Latino couple won't qualify as "biracial" because Latino isn't a race, no more than marrying an Italian immigrant made their kids biracial 100 years ago.

No no no. Machismo is not a thing.