Family’s insensitive/racist comments

[Anonymous]

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about your family's comments. What matters is that it bothers you. Speak up and tell them. If they persist in behavi g in a.way that is offensive to you, pack up and leave. You don’t have to tolerate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And what gringo or food comments have you overheard from the other side?

Irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And what gringo or food comments have you overheard from the other side?

Thanks for the knee-jerk white person reaction! -White person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, you say things, NOW. The longer you stay silent, the worse it will become. You throw the most gigantic fit ever and threaten them with cutting them off if they ever make any kind of comment that makes fun of Latinos in your family's hearing.

100% this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok I actually think Paco the Taco is hilarious. Lol. I’m Hispanic and it’s funny. That’s said given the context of them not being hispanic seems in appropriate.

I would have laughed but then calmly explained that that is your child. Then I would ask them what names they suggest. Or you could go full sarcasm and and say yes he name is going to be Paco and see what they say. Have they always been like this? Knowing Spanish is literally so desirable.

+1

I'm also Latino and don't find this particularly offensive; rather, it's simply stupid to say in today's woke, hypersensitive culture. Just goes to show you, white liberals are more obsessed with racism than actual minorities.

[Anonymous]

Hispanic here. We are liberals. No one dares say anything.

[Anonymous]

"Stop making bigoted comments or we will stop seeing you. Your opinion that I am being too sensitive is irrelevant. These are the terms under which I am willing to continue having a relationship with you." This is what I would say, and my family knows I would follow through. My family isn't racist, but they are aware that their relationship with my kids is 100% on my terms and they don't get a vote.

[Anonymous]

Latina here(NP). IMO, these jokes are more tiring than offensive. Like repeating a character’s catch phrase when you see the actor, thinking that you’re being so creative…

OP, it’s hard for us to know the nuance of their behavior, and I agree with the PP who said that your family’s discomfort is what matters the most. If you rarely see them, just give a mildly cutting reply and move on. My answer would be different if they were around often.

P.s.: It’s ok to be bluntly honest with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh no, you say things, NOW. The longer you stay silent, the worse it will become. You throw the most gigantic fit ever and threaten them with cutting them off if they ever make any kind of comment that makes fun of Latinos in your family's hearing.

100% this

+2. Agree. I'm Hispanic and I do find this offensive. If your radar is going off, OP, it probably was racist. Often these things are contextual. In this case, it came right after they made fun if Spanish. That seems very different than saying something like cutie pie.

[Anonymous]

You know your family. You know they meant it offensively/passive aggressively. What are you going to do about it? Your child is coming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's too bad you and your DH rushed into this marriage he should have had the opportunity meet your racist family before deciding to spend his life with you.

Oh trust me on this. His family is probably more racist.

You seriously don't think minority families are racist? She only needs to talk to them privately and in a nice way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too bad you and your DH rushed into this marriage he should have had the opportunity meet your racist family before deciding to spend his life with you.

Oh trust me on this. His family is probably more racist.

You seriously don't think minority families are racist? She only needs to talk to them privately and in a nice way.

+1

My Indian grandfather died 15 years ago but he used to say the N-word until his dying day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My family is conservative and white, and doesn’t have much sensitivity when it comes to race. My H is Latino and we’re expecting our first child. My family has never met H due to COVID, and I’m currently visiting them for the first time since the pandemic started (H stayed home to save his leave for when the baby is born).

Anyway during my visit my family has been saying some concerning things. Sort of making fun of Spanish, and most concerning, were coming up with names for the baby like “Paco the Taco”. I’m now absolutely mortified to bring them around H, and I’m very worried about what our child will overhear growing up. Not to mention I feel super protective of our baby and hate her being called nicknames like that.

How should I handle this? If I say anything, I’ll be told I’m being too sensitive and it was just a joke. I also don’t know how to bring this up with H, like how do you say “I don’t think we should be around my family because they’re racist”?

That’s it? A cute Paco the Taco instead of cutie pie or cutie butt?

Every mixed couple I know thought of super fun mixed nicknames, even fir the triple threat citizenship parents.

Those otherwise kind relatives had better stop calling my kid little pepito lest they be deemed a raging racist by OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And what gringo or food comments have you overheard from the other side?

Thanks for the knee-jerk white person reaction! -White person

I’m from three continents and citizenships. You white people need to get a grip or some real hobbies or worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok I actually think Paco the Taco is hilarious. Lol. I’m Hispanic and it’s funny. That’s said given the context of them not being hispanic seems in appropriate.

I would have laughed but then calmly explained that that is your child. Then I would ask them what names they suggest. Or you could go full sarcasm and and say yes he name is going to be Paco and see what they say. Have they always been like this? Knowing Spanish is literally so desirable.

+1

I'm also Latino and don't find this particularly offensive; rather, it's simply stupid to say in today's woke, hypersensitive culture. Just goes to show you, white liberals are more obsessed with racism than actual minorities.

Cancel them!! And ruin their social media reputations online!!