Poll: Right this moment, would you leave your fully-accessible phone for your SO for an entire day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have nothing to hide, but it’s still a private space. Like a journal. I keep a lot of notes and chat with good friends archived. It’s not anything I wouldn’t talk with him about, but it’s personal. I don’t think he’d feel comfortable either. We use one another’s phones in a pinch, but they’re quickly returned. I don’t wear his shoes either.

This. Having some mystery and privacy is very important to maintaining a healthy relationship.

If you’re going through each other’s phones that is a symptom of a much bigger problem. Either you don’t trust your partner, or you are too insecure to be happy in the relationship, or both.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

My DH can access my phone with his fingerprint! I truly do not care. Sometimes it's useful for him to have access, like if I'm driving and I need him to access a contact or something on there. And I can access his if I need to.

Now, the thought of anyone else being able to access my phone gives me chills. But my DH? He's like the one person where it doesn't matter because he knows everything that's on there. We don't have many secrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personal phone, yes.

Personal computer - only if I cleared the porn from my browser history.

Work phone, no. It contains material covered by attorney-client privilege and it would be a massive ethical breach for my spouse to read those communications.

I posted above that I've started Christmas shopping and my spouse is a snoop.

My spouse would totally pop into my phone and check my Amazon browser history. I work with kids with disabilities. He would never go into my work files and read someone's test scores, for example. Totally different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I have nothing to hide, but it’s still a private space. Like a journal. I keep a lot of notes and chat with good friends archived. It’s not anything I wouldn’t talk with him about, but it’s personal. I don’t think he’d feel comfortable either. We use one another’s phones in a pinch, but they’re quickly returned. I don’t wear his shoes either.

This. Having some mystery and privacy is very important to maintaining a healthy relationship.

If you’re going through each other’s phones that is a symptom of a much bigger problem. Either you don’t trust your partner, or you are too insecure to be happy in the relationship, or both.

Also I would not go through my partner’s phone even if they left it to me. Nope. I trust there is no affair, if he’s having a fun flirtation or discussing our relationship I don’t need to see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I have nothing to hide, but it’s still a private space. Like a journal. I keep a lot of notes and chat with good friends archived. It’s not anything I wouldn’t talk with him about, but it’s personal. I don’t think he’d feel comfortable either. We use one another’s phones in a pinch, but they’re quickly returned. I don’t wear his shoes either.

This. Having some mystery and privacy is very important to maintaining a healthy relationship.

If you’re going through each other’s phones that is a symptom of a much bigger problem. Either you don’t trust your partner, or you are too insecure to be happy in the relationship, or both.

Well OP asked if you would be okay with them having access. Didn't ask if you thought they'd use that access.

One reason I have zero problem with my DH having access to my phone is that I trust him not to go snooping. He would never go looking through my chats or emails with friends or something. So it would be no big deal for him to have access to it. And if for some reason he did have to go searching through it (I don't know, say I went missing and he was looking for clues), I wouldn't worry about what he'd find. Even if normally it would be something I'd keep private because I do have a life separate and private from him. I'm not trashing him in those chats or emails, for instance, or conducting an affair.

I agree some mystery and privacy is good for a relationship, but you don't establish that by hiding your phone from your husband. You establish it by having a trust and respect for one another's boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I have nothing to hide, but it’s still a private space. Like a journal. I keep a lot of notes and chat with good friends archived. It’s not anything I wouldn’t talk with him about, but it’s personal. I don’t think he’d feel comfortable either. We use one another’s phones in a pinch, but they’re quickly returned. I don’t wear his shoes either.

This. Having some mystery and privacy is very important to maintaining a healthy relationship.

If you’re going through each other’s phones that is a symptom of a much bigger problem. Either you don’t trust your partner, or you are too insecure to be happy in the relationship, or both.

Well OP asked if you would be okay with them having access. Didn't ask if you thought they'd use that access.

One reason I have zero problem with my DH having access to my phone is that I trust him not to go snooping. He would never go looking through my chats or emails with friends or something. So it would be no big deal for him to have access to it. And if for some reason he did have to go searching through it (I don't know, say I went missing and he was looking for clues), I wouldn't worry about what he'd find. Even if normally it would be something I'd keep private because I do have a life separate and private from him. I'm not trashing him in those chats or emails, for instance, or conducting an affair.

I agree some mystery and privacy is good for a relationship, but you don't establish that by hiding your phone from your husband. You establish it by having a trust and respect for one another's boundaries.

No one is hiding things. It’s great you’re confident and in a healthy relationship. You’re coming off a bit weirdly defensive/smug here though.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but I need it for work. He can have it all weekend though. I have nothing to hide.

Same for him.

[Anonymous]

I’d love to put our phones down for a full fun day with my SO!

[Anonymous]

Yes because other than answering it if it rings I can’t imagine she would do anything with it.

[Anonymous]

I don't have anything to hide but I don't know that I would do this.

[Anonymous]

Sure. Nothing to hide and he already knows about everything , well except for how much I frequent DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have anything to hide but I don't know that I would do this.

But then on second thought, he has access and uses my laptop and the same stuff is on there so nevermind, sure he can have access to my phone

[Anonymous]

Let me just clear my browser…………….and sure. Whatevs.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. My phone, computer, letters, watch. You name it. Email.

[Anonymous]

I would mostly be embarrassed for him to see how much time I spend on DCUM. And even then I don't think he'd actually care.

I'd be fine leaving my phone with him over privacy concerns but I like having my phone with me for convenience/checking out what is happening on Les Internets.