attractive workers and your DH

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.



And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.


Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.


If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.


When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.


Then don’t be one on one with men either.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Similar to not getting an attractive nanny, do you have a say in who your husband's doctor, dentist, therapist, salon, etc... ?

Just wondering!


He doesn’t have a say in who I see so why should I have a say in who he sees? When we use to have nannies I never rejected one because she was too attractive.
Anonymous
BigLaw partner here and my wife definitely gives me a hard time if I am out drinking with my younger attractive female associates so I don't because it's not worth the headache.

It was interesting when I got my new legal assistant my wife didn't feel threatened because she said she isn't hot. She most definitely is in a "straight out of an 80s White snake video" so it's interesting what women think men find hot

Anyway, I am way too smart to act on something inappropriate with someone who works for me.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.



And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.


Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.


If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.


When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.


Then don’t be one on one with men either.


New poster here and you absolutely have to bring juniors to some events, whether it's sporting events or other client entertainment so you aren't the only one doin the hand holding. I have definitely seen older men especially start to favor younger men because we have been told by HR to be careful about one on one time with female associates.

Same reason male OB/GYNs must have a female nurse in the room if they are doing a pelvic exam.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.



And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.


Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.


If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.


When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.


Then don’t be one on one with men either.


New poster here and you absolutely have to bring juniors to some events, whether it's sporting events or other client entertainment so you aren't the only one doin the hand holding. I have definitely seen older men especially start to favor younger men because we have been told by HR to be careful about one on one time with female associates.

Same reason male OB/GYNs must have a female nurse in the room if they are doing a pelvic exam.


When women are in more positions of power - comprehensively, not as tokens - this kind of thing will change.

Until then, what are ambitious women to do? And the men who want to help them?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.



In many studies it's been show that attitudes like this is why women do not advance in their careers. Men refuse to network with them or mentor them because of their incontrollable loins or their jealous wives.

Don't ask for a link just google it please.


Well at least someone didn't blame it entirely on men. So a jealous stay at home wife can indirectly affect a woman's career she never even met?


Looks that way. The PP is ripe for a lawsuit. He should do lunch with everyone.
Anonymous
Ha, well I got a hot nanny so I'm obviously not the one who should be responding to your questions, but my answer anyway is HELL NO. Seriously, back off. If you're that insecure in your marriage, you have bigger problems than who is cutting his hair.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.



My best work friend (and one of my closest friends) is male. I am female. I wouldn't be married to someone who wouldn't let me go out and drink with him. He's my FRIEND. He wasn't my subordinate though, so maybe that's different. But I do think women (or men) like this are petty.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.



And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.


Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.


PP said they had this rule BECAUSE OF THEIR WIFE.
Anonymous
My boss goes golfing with the men in our office. Nothing with women. Another one ripe for a lawsuit.
Anonymous
For everyone who keeps suggesting that men are opening themselves up to liability by mentoring one gender and not the other, you're missing a key component in the risk analysis.

If a man is accused of treating women differently by not mentoring them, the woman files a discrimination complaint and is required to prove her claim.

If a woman accuses a man of an inappropriate overture, true or not, the accusation is the conviction and that man's career will be forever affected by that.

In the final analysis, many men would rather take their chances with a jury in the court system than be convicted by accusation.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My boss goes golfing with the men in our office. Nothing with women. Another one ripe for a lawsuit.


First, you need to read up on employment law if you think this is a lawsuit. Second, good luck with that, I suppose you could force a settlement and never be hired anywhere else again.

Women have their own advantage when they are young and attractive. Men want to be around them
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:For everyone who keeps suggesting that men are opening themselves up to liability by mentoring one gender and not the other, you're missing a key component in the risk analysis.

If a man is accused of treating women differently by not mentoring them, the woman files a discrimination complaint and is required to prove her claim.

If a woman accuses a man of an inappropriate overture, true or not, the accusation is the conviction and that man's career will be forever affected by that.

In the final analysis, many men would rather take their chances with a jury in the court system than be convicted by accusation.


That is completely accurate, your interactions with, treatment of and witnesses to your dealings with any protected category better be 100% impeccable.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My boss goes golfing with the men in our office. Nothing with women. Another one ripe for a lawsuit.


First, you need to read up on employment law if you think this is a lawsuit. Second, good luck with that, I suppose you could force a settlement and never be hired anywhere else again.

Women have their own advantage when they are young and attractive. Men want to be around them


What if you’re an old and ugly woman? What then?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My boss goes golfing with the men in our office. Nothing with women. Another one ripe for a lawsuit.


First, you need to read up on employment law if you think this is a lawsuit. Second, good luck with that, I suppose you could force a settlement and never be hired anywhere else again.

Women have their own advantage when they are young and attractive. Men want to be around them


Okay, so maybe not a lawsuit, but I happen to know that the higher-ups are aware of it and it has taken him down several notches in their estimation. It’s tone deaf.
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