attractive workers and your DH

[Anonymous]

I mean, I wouldn’t even nix a nanny for being attractive, so no.

[Anonymous]

I have spent exactly zero seconds of my life thinking about this. And I don't care which colleagues my DH has dinner with, either. As a partner in his firm, I expect him to mentor junior women and to socialize with them to the same extent he does with junior men. If you feel like you need to limit the people of the opposite sex with whom your spouse has professional contact, you have serious problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We changed insurance and needed all new doctors. In the new system, you view a page of photos of doctors and select one, then select the appointment you want. DH asked me how I made my choice for primary care physician, and I said I chose a female doctor who appeared to be at least my age or older. He said, "Oh, I just picked the hottest one."

Love your DH!!! Mine would NEVER admit that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have spent exactly zero seconds of my life thinking about this. And I don't care which colleagues my DH has dinner with, either. As a partner in his firm, I expect him to mentor junior women and to socialize with them to the same extent he does with junior men. If you feel like you need to limit the people of the opposite sex with whom your spouse has professional contact, you have serious problems.

Or your spouse does.

Or both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

Because #believeallwomen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

What about a lunch in the food court?

I admit I don’t understand why dinners are even used for mentoring at all. Can’t it be squeezed into the workday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Similar to not getting an attractive nanny, do you have a say in who your husband's doctor, dentist, therapist, salon, etc... ?

Just wondering!

No. Just like he doesn't have a say in my doctors, dentist, therapist, hair stylist .... WTF. Do you have a say in who your husband sees for professional services?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

Agree. My wife wouldn't be jealous at all. But I would never have one-on-one drinks or dinner with any women subordinate. Consequently, I also don't have one-on-one drinks or dinner with males subordinates because I think that's unfair to women. So I either have group get togethers outside of work, or nothing.

But I will certainly not set myself up for any sort of claim of bias or harassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

What about a lunch in the food court?

I admit I don’t understand why dinners are even used for mentoring at all. Can’t it be squeezed into the workday?

Because we are not all feds. Many of us are in a line of work where we actually work during the day and spend long hours traveling or meeting with people over dinner. Business dinners are a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

Agree. My wife wouldn't be jealous at all. But I would never have one-on-one drinks or dinner with any women subordinate. Consequently, I also don't have one-on-one drinks or dinner with males subordinates because I think that's unfair to women. So I either have group get togethers outside of work, or nothing.

But I will certainly not set myself up for any sort of claim of bias or harassment.

This is a fair and thoughtful approach. I don’t have a problem with men choosing not to participate in certain activities with ALL subordinates/colleagues, but if they engage in specific networking activities with men but NOT with women - that’s a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

What about a lunch in the food court?

I admit I don’t understand why dinners are even used for mentoring at all. Can’t it be squeezed into the workday?

Because we are not all feds. Many of us are in a line of work where we actually work during the day and spend long hours traveling or meeting with people over dinner. Business dinners are a thing.

If you have enough time at dinner can’t you do it at lunch? I would think that lunch would take much less time. And aren’t business dinners for clients more than mentoring?

I’m not saying I have a problem with it, but it seems easier to look like you’re totally above board if you get together over lunch instead of dinner. Im a writer so this isn’t my wheelhouse but DH (big law partner) goes to lunches with female colleagues, but never dinners unless it’s business travel. He does this out of convenience rather than out of trying to avoid looking like he is fooling around, but it doesn’t seem like dinners are completely necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not having drinks one on one with an attractive woman. The risk of a harassment claim is too high, as is the risk of DW complaining. It's not like in 2021 attractive women have trouble advancing in their careers, I could see that having been a problem in decades past.

You are an idiot. What’s your doing actually is gender discrimination

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

If they’re not sexually harassing anyone, I’m not clear why they’d be gun shy.

When you're one on one, it's always a concern for men. I wouldn't mentor a female outside the workplace. If you want your face time do it in the office.

What about a lunch in the food court?

I admit I don’t understand why dinners are even used for mentoring at all. Can’t it be squeezed into the workday?

Because we are not all feds. Many of us are in a line of work where we actually work during the day and spend long hours traveling or meeting with people over dinner. Business dinners are a thing.

If you have enough time at dinner can’t you do it at lunch? I would think that lunch would take much less time. And aren’t business dinners for clients more than mentoring?

I’m not saying I have a problem with it, but it seems easier to look like you’re totally above board if you get together over lunch instead of dinner. Im a writer so this isn’t my wheelhouse but DH (big law partner) goes to lunches with female colleagues, but never dinners unless it’s business travel. He does this out of convenience rather than out of trying to avoid looking like he is fooling around, but it doesn’t seem like dinners are completely necessary.

NP but I think there are distinct differences in lunches v dinners:

-Less of a time constraint
-The presence of alcohol
-More open/loose communication

The energy of lunch and dinner is quite different, intrinsically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While my wife doesn't get a say in who my company hires to work for me (obviously), she does not want me to have dinner or drinks with my female subordinates. I think it's petty but it's not worth the fight. So I do lunch with the women (in groups only) and drinks with the men.

And this is why women have trouble advancing in the workplace.

Don’t blame it on the men who have gotten very gun shy due to #metoo.

Now you’re blaming women for being raped? Really?