Blue Collar vs White Collar

[Anonymous]

Many of us met in college, when - in honesty - our future husbands had an income of zero.

But honestly, the men planning to study law, medicine, or business were far more sexy than the English or theater majors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of us met in college, when - in honesty - our future husbands had an income of zero.

But honestly, the men planning to study law, medicine, or business were far more sexy than the English or theater majors.

This is more about dating someone who is not college educated and also on the low spectrum salary wise as opposed to dating a college grad

[Anonymous]

OP how old are you? If this is “settle down” time, have a hard conversation with yourself and ask what priority you place on:
homeownership
the ability to stay home with your children for a period of time
private schools/ funded college for your children
Travel/more expensive activities
early retirement

If none of those things are particularly important to you, there is no reason not to date someone with lower earning power. If any of those things is extremely important to you, you should not date someone who can’t support at least half of the lifestyle you’re looking for— ideally more if you want to be a SAHM. Most people here upset that their spouses don’t earn solid salary are upset because they weren’t honest with themselves (and often their partners!) about what they wanted at the outset.

If you’re just looking for fun, no reason to rule these men out, but also do not lead them on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout.

When you meet people with similar education and income, do you seriously talk about work? I don't. If not, then there need not be "nothing to talk about" with a blue collar guy.

Sure, it is more likely that a blue collar guy won't want to talk about museums, art galleries, and books you've read - if those are the kinds of non-work things you want to talk about - but it's not impossible. They're not necessarily only interested in NASCAR and pro wrestling.

The biggest problem is that blue collar guys are very likely Trump supporters, and this is anathema to women in this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of us met in college, when - in honesty - our future husbands had an income of zero.

But honestly, the men planning to study law, medicine, or business were far more sexy than the English or theater majors.

This is more about dating someone who is not college educated and also on the low spectrum salary wise as opposed to dating a college grad

Yeah - that second group? No degree and lower income ???

There is no way I would waste my time on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of us met in college, when - in honesty - our future husbands had an income of zero.

But honestly, the men planning to study law, medicine, or business were far more sexy than the English or theater majors.

This is more about dating someone who is not college educated and also on the low spectrum salary wise as opposed to dating a college grad

Yeah - that second group? No degree and lower income ???

There is no way I would waste my time on him.

Ah, don't you love feminism? Women must always be empowered and never judged for their age, looks, weight or aggressive personalities. And yet unless a man meets certain income criteria, he is worthless and a "waste" of time. GTFO with that bullshit.

[Anonymous]

White collar woman here. You have to look at the person, not their job. Unless they identify (or YOU identify) with the job very strongly. So you might make more money. But do you like to do some of the same things? Are you willing to subsidize somebody if they can't afford what you can as often as you can, if it is something you enjoy doing together? I have dated both, and maybe I'm intellectually insecure, but I enjoyed my time with the blue collar man the best. It didn't work out for other reasons, but we were on the same wavelength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP how old are you? If this is “settle down” time, have a hard conversation with yourself and ask what priority you place on:
homeownership
the ability to stay home with your children for a period of time
private schools/ funded college for your children
Travel/more expensive activities
early retirement

If none of those things are particularly important to you, there is no reason not to date someone with lower earning power. If any of those things is extremely important to you, you should not date someone who can’t support at least half of the lifestyle you’re looking for— ideally more if you want to be a SAHM. Most people here upset that their spouses don’t earn solid salary are upset because they weren’t honest with themselves (and often their partners!) about what they wanted at the outset.

If you’re just looking for fun, no reason to rule these men out, but also do not lead them on.

I am in my 30s but not desperate to settle down, Ive been married and divorced and have 1 child so have zero pressure to remarry or have more children. I’m perfectly happy with my current life, open to dating and more under the right circumstances but only want to bring a man long term if he’s going to add to my life. I make over $200k so I know i might not find someone who makes that much, but I’d suspect that someone who is in their late 30’s, early 40s and have had a decent career progression should at least make around $100k, unless they are in a low paying field driven by their passion i-e nonprofit/teaching ect and i’d be ok with that as long as they are driven. I think the biggest hangup I have is ambition/drive. I’d like to think that if someone was a UPS driver , that they’d figure out how to get extra training on the job, six sigma or other opportunities to be a regional UPS manager or other things to develop their career. I think it would be challenging for me not to see this drive and wanting to grow from someone satisfied at just being a delivery person. I asked him if he was happy with his job and his response was just ‘ pays the bills’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how old are you? If this is “settle down” time, have a hard conversation with yourself and ask what priority you place on:
homeownership
the ability to stay home with your children for a period of time
private schools/ funded college for your children
Travel/more expensive activities
early retirement

If none of those things are particularly important to you, there is no reason not to date someone with lower earning power. If any of those things is extremely important to you, you should not date someone who can’t support at least half of the lifestyle you’re looking for— ideally more if you want to be a SAHM. Most people here upset that their spouses don’t earn solid salary are upset because they weren’t honest with themselves (and often their partners!) about what they wanted at the outset.

If you’re just looking for fun, no reason to rule these men out, but also do not lead them on.

I am in my 30s but not desperate to settle down, Ive been married and divorced and have 1 child so have zero pressure to remarry or have more children. I’m perfectly happy with my current life, open to dating and more under the right circumstances but only want to bring a man long term if he’s going to add to my life. I make over $200k so I know i might not find someone who makes that much, but I’d suspect that someone who is in their late 30’s, early 40s and have had a decent career progression should at least make around $100k, unless they are in a low paying field driven by their passion i-e nonprofit/teaching ect and i’d be ok with that as long as they are driven. I think the biggest hangup I have is ambition/drive. I’d like to think that if someone was a UPS driver , that they’d figure out how to get extra training on the job, six sigma or other opportunities to be a regional UPS manager or other things to develop their career. I think it would be challenging for me not to see this drive and wanting to grow from someone satisfied at just being a delivery person. I asked him if he was happy with his job and his response was just ‘ pays the bills’

OK, then you’re best off not dating this man.

[Anonymous]

How much do you make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how old are you? If this is “settle down” time, have a hard conversation with yourself and ask what priority you place on:
homeownership
the ability to stay home with your children for a period of time
private schools/ funded college for your children
Travel/more expensive activities
early retirement

If none of those things are particularly important to you, there is no reason not to date someone with lower earning power. If any of those things is extremely important to you, you should not date someone who can’t support at least half of the lifestyle you’re looking for— ideally more if you want to be a SAHM. Most people here upset that their spouses don’t earn solid salary are upset because they weren’t honest with themselves (and often their partners!) about what they wanted at the outset.

If you’re just looking for fun, no reason to rule these men out, but also do not lead them on.

I am in my 30s but not desperate to settle down, Ive been married and divorced and have 1 child so have zero pressure to remarry or have more children. I’m perfectly happy with my current life, open to dating and more under the right circumstances but only want to bring a man long term if he’s going to add to my life. I make over $200k so I know i might not find someone who makes that much, but I’d suspect that someone who is in their late 30’s, early 40s and have had a decent career progression should at least make around $100k, unless they are in a low paying field driven by their passion i-e nonprofit/teaching ect and i’d be ok with that as long as they are driven. I think the biggest hangup I have is ambition/drive. I’d like to think that if someone was a UPS driver , that they’d figure out how to get extra training on the job, six sigma or other opportunities to be a regional UPS manager or other things to develop their career. I think it would be challenging for me not to see this drive and wanting to grow from someone satisfied at just being a delivery person. I asked him if he was happy with his job and his response was just ‘ pays the bills’

Lawyer? Doctor? Aren't there any in your field you'd date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP how old are you? If this is “settle down” time, have a hard conversation with yourself and ask what priority you place on:
homeownership
the ability to stay home with your children for a period of time
private schools/ funded college for your children
Travel/more expensive activities
early retirement

If none of those things are particularly important to you, there is no reason not to date someone with lower earning power. If any of those things is extremely important to you, you should not date someone who can’t support at least half of the lifestyle you’re looking for— ideally more if you want to be a SAHM. Most people here upset that their spouses don’t earn solid salary are upset because they weren’t honest with themselves (and often their partners!) about what they wanted at the outset.

If you’re just looking for fun, no reason to rule these men out, but also do not lead them on.

I am in my 30s but not desperate to settle down, Ive been married and divorced and have 1 child so have zero pressure to remarry or have more children. I’m perfectly happy with my current life, open to dating and more under the right circumstances but only want to bring a man long term if he’s going to add to my life. I make over $200k so I know i might not find someone who makes that much, but I’d suspect that someone who is in their late 30’s, early 40s and have had a decent career progression should at least make around $100k, unless they are in a low paying field driven by their passion i-e nonprofit/teaching ect and i’d be ok with that as long as they are driven. I think the biggest hangup I have is ambition/drive. I’d like to think that if someone was a UPS driver , that they’d figure out how to get extra training on the job, six sigma or other opportunities to be a regional UPS manager or other things to develop their career. I think it would be challenging for me not to see this drive and wanting to grow from someone satisfied at just being a delivery person. I asked him if he was happy with his job and his response was just ‘ pays the bills’

Lawyer? Doctor? Aren't there any in your field you'd date?

OP, I know someone like you who ended marrying as business partnership, and so they would not be alone.

Let's just say, you would rather be alone, trust me on this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout. Would like to hear from people who have been in these situations, yey or nay? Would you recommend? Why or why not? I am crazy for just wanting to date people with a similar professional/financial background?

Do you think they are trying to date lots of women or have they taken the time to have conversations with you and based on those conversations they want to date you? If he’s just shooting his shot, I would probably say no. But if you’ve actually had enough conversation to get to know them as a person and vice versa, you should have enough info to know if you have enough in common for a first date.

Some I met randomly so I am not sure. Others I talk to on dating apps, and eventually find out what they do for a living and it gives me pause, that’s why I was wondering if other women have been in that situation before

pp here. If you meet them in person thru a hobby, through friends, or just organically and have enough of a conversation that you think you would like I get to know them more then yes. If it’s strictly online then I would lean towards not. Also, whatever the situation, make sure work hours are compatible with what you want out of dating life. Some people are fine dating someone that travels a lot for work or works nights and weekends and for other people that’s not what they want.