Blue Collar vs White Collar

[Anonymous]

Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout. Would like to hear from people who have been in these situations, yey or nay? Would you recommend? Why or why not? I am crazy for just wanting to date people with a similar professional/financial background?

[Anonymous]

If you are interested in a LTR you should date people you are most comfortable with. If you are just interested in a casual relationship expand your universe.

[Anonymous]

Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.

+1 Be sure to reject anyone who's the wrong star sign, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.

She’s not “above” them. She merely makes more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im a woman in my 30s- Lately, I’ve had a few guys trying to date me and they have blue collar jobs i-e lots of mail delivery guys, work at restaurant and so on. I have a hangup on this as I know I probably make 5 times what they do and Im not sure we’d have anything to talk sbout. Would like to hear from people who have been in these situations, yey or nay? Would you recommend? Why or why not? I am crazy for just wanting to date people with a similar professional/financial background?

Maybe find out whether or not you have things in common or things you can talk about — instead of assuming that you don’t, based on a job title. The money issues might be more complicated — but that, of course, will vary with the individuals and with each relationship.
I wouldn’t recommend — or not recommend— dating someone based solely on their job. If your personal priorities and comfort level are job focused and focused on financial backgrounds, then acknowledge to yourself that those are your priorities, and act accordingly.

I will say that one issue I’ve faced is that having a career that I’m invested in that is a deliberate part of my identity is different from having a “job” . What’s been important to me is being with someone who has equally strong interests and passions — so that they can relate to mine. Sometimes it’s a job, sometimes it’s not, and often it’s the job that provides the security that they need to pursue other passions. None of these factors are limited to the type of job though.

[Anonymous]

I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

Why didn’t it work out with the landscaper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

Why didn’t it work out with the landscaper?

He went back to Brazil because his father was ill. I was just starting my career and couldn’t join him. He ended up staying a few years so we both moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

Why didn’t it work out with the landscaper?

He went back to Brazil because his father was ill. I was just starting my career and couldn’t join him. He ended up staying a few years so we both moved on.

I had a feeling he wasn't American. It's a lot easier to date a different socioeconomic level when you factor in different nationalities, as the nuances are lost in cultural difference. My parents are like this, and I am quite certain it would not have worked out (and family relationships would have been strained) if they had don't this within their own countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

Why didn’t it work out with the landscaper?

He went back to Brazil because his father was ill. I was just starting my career and couldn’t join him. He ended up staying a few years so we both moved on.

I had a feeling he wasn't American. It's a lot easier to date a different socioeconomic level when you factor in different nationalities, as the nuances are lost in cultural difference. My parents are like this, and I am quite certain it would not have worked out (and family relationships would have been strained) if they had don't this within their own countries.

That is a good point but another component is that it considerably less likely that a smart, motivated man in the US will pass up opportunities and cultural pressure to pursue white collar work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

This not universally true. There's also a world of difference between a landscaper or a roofer who owns the business and the guy who drives a truck and works at the restaurant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once they realize you think you’re above them, they will lose interest, so save yourself the hassle and embarrassment.

She’s not “above” them. She merely makes more money.

But that's how many of these guys think when they meet a women who makes more than them, she's above them and if they don't ghost spend their time trying to bring her down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

This not universally true. There's also a world of difference between a landscaper or a roofer who owns the business and the guy who drives a truck and works at the restaurant.

+1 burnout for restaurant workers is high. For LTR, what will he be doing in 10 years?

I am not elite. Went to a b rated state univ, but a guy who drives a truck in his 30s doesn't have great earning potential in 10 years. Yes, earning potential is important if you are looking for a serious relationship and expect a certain lifestyle. Kids are expensive, and the woman is the one who has to take maternity leave.

My DH is in IT, and very handy. He also does stuff around the house and cooks. White collar men can be handy, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a physician. Both of my parents and one sibling are also physicians. My other two siblings are lawyers. I prefer “blue collar”men. They’re handy, they’re in shape, they have reasonable work hours, and some make a lot of money. Most are able to start saving years earlier than people who have ten years of post secondary education. The smartest, most interesting man I dated was in the landscaping business. During the winter, he did occasional snow removal, read a lot, traveled and worked on his house. He played the sax and spoke three languages. He was tanned and in great shape without needing to lift weights. In the evenings, he wasn’t drained and ambivalent about everything. My current partner has a roofing business. He has a beautiful home which he renovated himself, he’s mortgage free, and has savings. We have plenty to talk about because he’s well read and well traveled. He’s unpretentious and has a decent, uncomplicated relationship with his ex wife, who is now re married to a fire fighter. One of his daughters wants to work with him, the other wants to be a vet.

This not universally true. There's also a world of difference between a landscaper or a roofer who owns the business and the guy who drives a truck and works at the restaurant.

Yes, obviously. OP said “blue collar”, and then referred to restaurant workers and delivery persons. But “blue collar” also refers to skilled trades, or anyone who doesn’t sit at a desk, really. There are some very bright, interesting and even wealthy people in blue collar fields. I’m sure having a long term relationship with someone who works in a factory would be very different than someone who owns his own business. That said, I did date some very bright/interesting sous chefs and truck drivers. The hours and lifestyle of those jobs weren’t compatible with mine, but I can’t say we had nothing to talk about.