Pregnant at 45!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant accidentally. DH and I are usually
very careful and have been married for 20 years. We had one planned baby who is now a teen and the one time in 13 years we did not use protection I fell pregnant. I am so sad! I didn’t plan this and have no desire whats so ever to have a baby. I know I will love the baby once he/she arrives but I feel so old. I can’t get over the fact that I am to old to have a baby. I am so embarrassed. I haven’t told anymore as yet. I refuse to think about it let alone talk about it. Just want to vent.

My sister had her baby at 48! You are older, sure but you can do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were in your shoes, I would get an abortion. 1. Way too old to have a baby, in my eyes. 2. The odds of the baby coming out jacked up is high and honestly, I wouldn’t want to risk it. 3. Abortions are so simple. Best of luck!

Jacked up? What the hell does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got pregnant accidentally. DH and I are usually
very careful and have been married for 20 years. We had one planned baby who is now a teen and the one time in 13 years we did not use protection I fell pregnant. I am so sad! I didn’t plan this and have no desire whats so ever to have a baby. I know I will love the baby once he/she arrives but I feel so old. I can’t get over the fact that I am to old to have a baby. I am so embarrassed. I haven’t told anymore as yet. I refuse to think about it let alone talk about it. Just want to vent.

You don't sound sad. You sound very happy in this sentence.

[Anonymous]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I had my last one at 43. The older kids are doting siblings who spoil her rotten. She’s the center of attention with all their friends. Better than a puppy, lol. And you, well I can only speak for me - it’s great having her home as the others start going off with friends and then off to college. I will be devastated when her time comes, but I’m planting the seed now for nearby schools. My husband and I both exercise regularly and take care of ourselves. It was a wake-up call for him to lose weight so he can “keep up”. She keeps me young as well. You will find parent friends, just like with your other kids - some will be younger, first-time parents who may or may not appreciate BTDT advice from you. Others will be older, like you, with older kids. You’ll gravitate to the ones who have older kids with similar ages as your older ones. It comes in time, once yours hits school age. Find your support groups through hobbies/activities. Join a gym or an exercise group for you. Enroll the baby in classes with the goal of finding others like you. There are more of us out there than you may realize. And don’t give out your age if you don’t want to. Maybe start a skincare regimen/Botox/retinol if you feel self-conscious. Or don’t. Live YOUR life and you will find your support people. What town are you in? More urban areas have older moms who waited to start their families. Find female doctors. They too have kids at older ages. Talk to people and embrace it

[Anonymous]

My husband is one of 5. I don’t remember the span of oldest to youngest, but he is 14 yrs older than the youngest. He tells a story of, when younger, the kids at the dinner table tried to make the little sister feel like a “oops” baby. The mom didn’t miss a beat and said, “it took us 5 tries, but we finally got it right”. Put them all in their place, haha. It’s all in how you frame it. Cry in private, get counseling if you want to, but celebrate in public. You will be great!

[Anonymous]

My mom had me at age 45. She was thrown for a loop, too. My older siblings were either adults, or soon to be adults. My dad, who was around 50 years old, was thrilled at the news.

I LOVED having older parents. They knew how to pick their battles, and knew what really mattered as older people who had seen a lot of life. While the younger mothers my K-12 years ran around with ther hair on fire over something trivial, my mother was unflappable. If she actually complained, people took notice. She could see the bigger picture, she had so much wisdom, the teachers treated her with respect.

This kid would be lucky to have you as a mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is one of 5. I don’t remember the span of oldest to youngest, but he is 14 yrs older than the youngest. He tells a story of, when younger, the kids at the dinner table tried to make the little sister feel like a “oops” baby. The mom didn’t miss a beat and said, “it took us 5 tries, but we finally got it right”. Put them all in their place, haha. It’s all in how you frame it. Cry in private, get counseling if you want to, but celebrate in public. You will be great!

Please! Stop with this bed of roses scenario. I was youngest of five born after mother after age 40 and 15 years younger than closest sibling. Two years after I was born she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died when I was four. I have spent a lifetime wondering if my birth hastened her death and robbed my siblings of their mother.

Now. My siblings have all died. Do not do this to a child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is one of 5. I don’t remember the span of oldest to youngest, but he is 14 yrs older than the youngest. He tells a story of, when younger, the kids at the dinner table tried to make the little sister feel like a “oops” baby. The mom didn’t miss a beat and said, “it took us 5 tries, but we finally got it right”. Put them all in their place, haha. It’s all in how you frame it. Cry in private, get counseling if you want to, but celebrate in public. You will be great!

Please! Stop with this bed of roses scenario. I was youngest of five born after mother after age 40 and 15 years younger than closest sibling. Two years after I was born she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died when I was four. I have spent a lifetime wondering if my birth hastened her death and robbed my siblings of their mother.

Now. My siblings have all died. Do not do this to a child!

I’m so sorry about your mom. If it helps, childbearing is associated with reduced risk of breast cancer, so there’s no reason to think your birth hastened her death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is one of 5. I don’t remember the span of oldest to youngest, but he is 14 yrs older than the youngest. He tells a story of, when younger, the kids at the dinner table tried to make the little sister feel like a “oops” baby. The mom didn’t miss a beat and said, “it took us 5 tries, but we finally got it right”. Put them all in their place, haha. It’s all in how you frame it. Cry in private, get counseling if you want to, but celebrate in public. You will be great!

Please! Stop with this bed of roses scenario. I was youngest of five born after mother after age 40 and 15 years younger than closest sibling. Two years after I was born she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died when I was four. I have spent a lifetime wondering if my birth hastened her death and robbed my siblings of their mother.

Now. My siblings have all died. Do not do this to a child!

I’m so sorry about your mom. If it helps, childbearing is associated with reduced risk of breast cancer, so there’s no reason to think your birth hastened her death.

It makes no difference. It is incredibly selfish to have a child in your 40:s. Children need young parents not someone who is already on the downhill when they are born!

[Anonymous]

If you choose to continue with the pregnancy please don’t sweat the age difference. My step DD and DD are 19 years apart. This is modern life and modern family stuff — you are definitely not going to be the oldest mom (especially in a metro area) and you’ll do great! Good luck whatever you choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is one of 5. I don’t remember the span of oldest to youngest, but he is 14 yrs older than the youngest. He tells a story of, when younger, the kids at the dinner table tried to make the little sister feel like a “oops” baby. The mom didn’t miss a beat and said, “it took us 5 tries, but we finally got it right”. Put them all in their place, haha. It’s all in how you frame it. Cry in private, get counseling if you want to, but celebrate in public. You will be great!

Please! Stop with this bed of roses scenario. I was youngest of five born after mother after age 40 and 15 years younger than closest sibling. Two years after I was born she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died when I was four. I have spent a lifetime wondering if my birth hastened her death and robbed my siblings of their mother.

Now. My siblings have all died. Do not do this to a child!

I’m so sorry about your mom. If it helps, childbearing is associated with reduced risk of breast cancer, so there’s no reason to think your birth hastened her death.

It makes no difference. It is incredibly selfish to have a child in your 40:s. Children need young parents not someone who is already on the downhill when they are born!

Young parents also die sometimes. I'm sorry for your early loss, but you are ridiculous. I agree that kids need younger parents, but as others have posted already, it can also be great for them. Yours is just one story.

[Anonymous]

This thread is a year old. OP either had the baby or didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is one of 5. I don’t remember the span of oldest to youngest, but he is 14 yrs older than the youngest. He tells a story of, when younger, the kids at the dinner table tried to make the little sister feel like a “oops” baby. The mom didn’t miss a beat and said, “it took us 5 tries, but we finally got it right”. Put them all in their place, haha. It’s all in how you frame it. Cry in private, get counseling if you want to, but celebrate in public. You will be great!

Please! Stop with this bed of roses scenario. I was youngest of five born after mother after age 40 and 15 years younger than closest sibling. Two years after I was born she was diagnosed with breast cancer and died when I was four. I have spent a lifetime wondering if my birth hastened her death and robbed my siblings of their mother.

Now. My siblings have all died. Do not do this to a child!

I’m so sorry about your mom. If it helps, childbearing is associated with reduced risk of breast cancer, so there’s no reason to think your birth hastened her death.

It makes no difference. It is incredibly selfish to have a child in your 40:s. Children need young parents not someone who is already on the downhill when they are born!

What an inaccurate, narrow-minded, and biting thing to say. Children need parents who can love, support, and raise them competently. From your response I’m not sure you received any good lessons in manners from your young parents or perhaps weren’t provided the educational opportunities and attention required not to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t be embarrassed! You are married and apparently happily enough to still get pregnant in your 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I were in your shoes, I would get an abortion. 1. Way too old to have a baby, in my eyes. 2. The odds of the baby coming out jacked up is high and honestly, I wouldn’t want to risk it. 3. Abortions are so simple. Best of luck!

Your wording of this post (as well as the sentiment behind it) is abhorrent.

Better than the people squeeing over an obviously unwanted pregnancy.