Could there be a cause for this? (body holding on to fat despite somewhat decent diet)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is 5'8 and 240. He asked his doctor to check his thyroid function and it was normal. The people in his immediate family all seem to just have a "slow" metabolism.

DH usually eats 2 meals and maybe one snack. I eat more like OP's DH and weigh 115. There may just be a genetic component.

That you know of!

[Anonymous]

It's also a myth that eating small meals frequently keeps your metabolism revved to burn more calories. Your body needs periods of not eating, not more eating.

I'd read Jason Fung's The Obesity Code. It is just not as simple as calories in calories out -- that's for physics, not biology. What he eats, and when he eats it, as a person who's already obese and therefore by definition has a deranged metabolism, is key.

What you can do -- if you're the one who does the shopping, stop buying all the junky carbs. No chips, no English muffins, the more you can do to get rid of highly processed carbs and sugar the better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's also a myth that eating small meals frequently keeps your metabolism revved to burn more calories. Your body needs periods of not eating, not more eating.

I'd read Jason Fung's The Obesity Code. It is just not as simple as calories in calories out -- that's for physics, not biology. What he eats, and when he eats it, as a person who's already obese and therefore by definition has a deranged metabolism, is key.

What you can do -- if you're the one who does the shopping, stop buying all the junky carbs. No chips, no English muffins, the more you can do to get rid of highly processed carbs and sugar the better.

Yes, to all of this!

Great book!

[Anonymous]

Most of us live close enough to grocery stores. Just walk in and get a treat when you want it/can allow it. Don't let the stuff in the house.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you know what morbidly obese means.

[Anonymous]

Americans over estimate their calories by up to 40%. He's probably intaking way more than you think. He's need to track for 3 days without changing anything to get a real idea of what's going into his body.

Use MFP and then go from there. For now, postulating is doing no good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's also a myth that eating small meals frequently keeps your metabolism revved to burn more calories. Your body needs periods of not eating, not more eating.

I'd read Jason Fung's The Obesity Code. It is just not as simple as calories in calories out -- that's for physics, not biology. What he eats, and when he eats it, as a person who's already obese and therefore by definition has a deranged metabolism, is key.

What you can do -- if you're the one who does the shopping, stop buying all the junky carbs. No chips, no English muffins, the more you can do to get rid of highly processed carbs and sugar the better.

Yes, to all of this!

Great book!

I agree! The processed carbs and not being really accurate about how much, when and what he is eating are major issues. Changing what and how you eat isn't necessarily easy, but he really should, but he has to be ready to make the change for himself.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for all the thoughts. It of course boils down to him having to make the changes if they are to be made. I agree with removing any tempting things from teh house, but in reality, that just isn't going to help. We have 3 kids. A whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter, for example, is a great snack for them. Baked chips - while of course not ideal - are better than fried - and so I have them so that they'll eat those occasionally rather than something a friend alternative. We have granola bars in the house for a quick snack - low sugar, organic ones. We literally never eat fast food, and we eat a balanced diet. But - there is aspiration, and there is reality, which is that houses have snacks in them, especially when there are kids involved. It doesn't matter what was in this house, my DH would eat it - cereal, plain bread, tortilla, whatever. The carbs will disappear. And unless he wants to change, it won't happen. I think the other challenge, besides that nutritionist tell him to eat every 2 hours, is that he has done WW and it gives him a gigantic number of points. So, when he is off WW, and not directly counting points, I think he thinks he is within his point limit simply because he is eating snacks and not big meals. It is super hard, and I feel badly for him. I wish I could help, but unless he owns it, it isn't going to change.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you're exactly right that your husband won't change unless he wants to change. And you're not responsible for his weight and health -- although you certainly get the brunt of what is happening now and will happen in the future if he's not healthy or god forbid dies early. So you do have a stake -- but you don't have the power to change him. A very frustrating place to be in and I'm sorry.

The thing I will comment on from your post is that what the kids are eating are also not healthy snacks for them. Even whole wheat English muffins are highly processed carbs. Baked chips, ditto. There's not a significant harm reduction because one is whole wheat and the other is not fried. Those are still not healthy snacks -- they're highly processed carbs that spike blood sugar, which spikes an insulin response, which triggers hunger.

You can't control what your husband eats, but please recognize that the eating patterns you're setting up for your kids are also not healthy. We've been sold a bill of goods that healthy eating is founded on a bunch of processed carbs -- bread, pasta, cereal, tortillas, you name it, especially if you slap a "whole grain" label on it it gets a health halo. It's not really any healthier than Pop Tarts or Lucky Charms, though. Granola bars ditto -- super high carbs and sugar. They get a health halo because they're associated with being outdoors and hiking. And we're also set up to feed kids these foods, but it's a self-reinforcing cycle -- they're sweet, easy to eat, not challenging on flavors, so of course kids want them more.

You can't control what your husband eats, and you're right, he's going to find what he wants and eat what he wants whether or not you buy it. But you do control what your kids eat, and you do have the opportunity now to set them up for better ways of eating and healthier metabolisms long-term if you change your mindset about what healthy snacks and healthy eating really look like.

I recommended Dr. Jason Fung's The Obesity Code above an I'll renew that recommendation -- not so much for your husband but for you. You don't have to go full-blown keto or Atkins for you or your kids, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with focusing meals on protein, lots of vegetables and fruits, whole-fat dairy, eggs, and meat, beans, and whole (unprocessed) grains that you actually have to chew and that aren't predigested for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think you're exactly right that your husband won't change unless he wants to change. And you're not responsible for his weight and health -- although you certainly get the brunt of what is happening now and will happen in the future if he's not healthy or god forbid dies early. So you do have a stake -- but you don't have the power to change him. A very frustrating place to be in and I'm sorry.

The thing I will comment on from your post is that what the kids are eating are also not healthy snacks for them. Even whole wheat English muffins are highly processed carbs. Baked chips, ditto. There's not a significant harm reduction because one is whole wheat and the other is not fried. Those are still not healthy snacks -- they're highly processed carbs that spike blood sugar, which spikes an insulin response, which triggers hunger.

You can't control what your husband eats, but please recognize that the eating patterns you're setting up for your kids are also not healthy. We've been sold a bill of goods that healthy eating is founded on a bunch of processed carbs -- bread, pasta, cereal, tortillas, you name it, especially if you slap a "whole grain" label on it it gets a health halo. It's not really any healthier than Pop Tarts or Lucky Charms, though. Granola bars ditto -- super high carbs and sugar. They get a health halo because they're associated with being outdoors and hiking. And we're also set up to feed kids these foods, but it's a self-reinforcing cycle -- they're sweet, easy to eat, not challenging on flavors, so of course kids want them more.

You can't control what your husband eats, and you're right, he's going to find what he wants and eat what he wants whether or not you buy it. But you do control what your kids eat, and you do have the opportunity now to set them up for better ways of eating and healthier metabolisms long-term if you change your mindset about what healthy snacks and healthy eating really look like.

I recommended Dr. Jason Fung's The Obesity Code above an I'll renew that recommendation -- not so much for your husband but for you. You don't have to go full-blown keto or Atkins for you or your kids, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with focusing meals on protein, lots of vegetables and fruits, whole-fat dairy, eggs, and meat, beans, and whole (unprocessed) grains that you actually have to chew and that aren't predigested for you.

OP here. I agree with all you type. Please tell me what snacks to have in the house when we aren't eating all foods that you list - which is what our meals consist of, predominantly. I have to send 2 snacks to school per day for all 3 of my kids. Tell me what to send that they will eat, besides cut up fruit. They will eat that. I send that, cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs, hummus and veggies. Can't send trail mix bc no nuts. They sometimes want processed snacks. I think that if I limit it 100%, they will sneak it. That has been mentioned a million times in this forum. So, while yes, I wholeheartedly agree with you about setting up my kids for success, there is also, as I said before, reality, which is that the kids see others eating goldfish, cheetohs, and luncheables at school. I can either deny them an english muffin with peanut butter or the 'best' choice of granola bar (which is crap, I know), or be happy they are eating something at least lower sugar than 95% of the other processed crap out there.

It's a tough road - to eat well and balanced and healthy - and to come up against reality. It is also a huge guilt factor to hold - to know that it is on me to set their palates and diets and bodies up for success - in a world that complelely conditions us differently.

[Anonymous]

OP I get what you are saying. You can’t cut out all snack type foods. It is impossible with kids because you need items to make lunches and breakfast with, make snacks, have quick things to go for activities. Just try not to have out right junk or things you know your hubs loves to eat.

In my house here is what I keep:

-Tons of fresh fruits and vegetables- that is what I tell the kids to grab when they want a “snack” which is at least twice per day

-cereals I only buy plain Cheerios and plain bran flakes (not Raisin Bran), and rolled oats/steel cut oats
-plain yogurt and low sugar Chobani flavored ones
-triscuits
-whole wheat tortillas (for wrap making or cut up and baked for a snack with salsa)
- oatmeal bread and the no-knead bread (half whole wheat) I bake these myself
- TJ fiber bars. They have a chocolate coating but are low in sugar maybe 6-7 grams
-pretzels
-seaweed packs

That is about it for the carbish stuff I have on hand. Nothing is all that tempting for an all out binge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He eats too much. Period. Probably many more calories than you’ve accounted for.

I agree -- he eats even more than you think. He's eating three meals, plus what sounds like pretty constant snacking. He's not going to lose weight eating like that, unless all he eats is celery. Even healthy, or healthier, food has calories.

+1

My DH’s mystery struggle with weight loss was actually the extra food he picked up at the grocery store (deli sandwiches, pizza) or fast food drive through, or candy bars at every point of sale, etc. He had pizza delivered to the house after I went to sleep. I had no idea he was eating so much.

That said, it sounds like your husband eats a lot, so he may not be sneaking food. What you know about is too much as it is.

[Anonymous]

Has your husband ever gone to therapy? Sure we can tell him to eat less to lose weight, but people who are morbidly obese often have more going on than just loving food. People often use foot as a way to cope with anxiety, depression, or past trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband ever gone to therapy? Sure we can tell him to eat less to lose weight, but people who are morbidly obese often have more going on than just loving food. People often use foot as a way to cope with anxiety, depression, or past trauma.

OP here, and I agree 100%. He will not go to therapy. I've mentioned it. Again, unless he is determined to change, it isn't going to work, so even if I 'demand' he go, he doesn't want to go himself. But, yes, I think the weight is so many things - his mother being proud of his weight when he was a child, all his friends growing up being big too (so identity issues), a football culture that heralded big boys as the went through childhood, a sense of betrayal to his family who are all big, a denial in what he actually consumes, a tendency to be absent-minded in other areas of life which leads to mindless eating - so many things.