Ivy League son just disclosed he's taking five years to graduate.

[Anonymous]

I would check they are still in good standing. My Ivy would not let people graduate if they took more than 8 semesters. You could take leaves of absences or withdrawal and be readmitted, but had to be done in 8 semesters. They did relax the rules for athletes/redshirts recently though.

https://www.browndailyherald.com/2021/02/28/seniors-react-ivy-leagues-fifth-year-sports-eligibility-waiver/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Harvard for undergrad and I knew a few people who took more than 4 years to graduate. People I knew took time off to: write a book, accompany a professor on an archeological dig, travel (this was the most popular reason), take part in some kind of personal project, or recover from mono. Nobody judged these people and I am sure your son's friends will express initial interest in what is going on with him, but it will be no big deal.

Oh, and I didn't know Natalie Portman personally, but some of her time at Harvard coincided with mine. She might be one of the most famous Harvard student who "took time off."

You cite motivated ambitious kids, while OP's son merely dropped online courses due to lack of motivation. All the rich kids traveled last year and still knocked out remote coursework. College kids were quite literally bragging to media outlets how easy online courses were and loaded up on 18 and 20-plus credit hours each term while lounging on Miami and Hawaii beaches and skiing in Colorado.

[Anonymous]

OP, kids in college have friends in other years. If your son is a junior now, he's got friends who are seniors and sophomores. College isn't like high school.

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem determined to see this as abnormal, no matter what evidence or experience other posters convey. After reading this thread, the biggest problem seems to be your attitude and anxiety. College is not high school. Everyone doesn't move through it as one cohesive cohort. Maybe that was your experience because you were in a sorority, but it's not everyone's experience. Most people just do their own thing in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4 year graduation rates

https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/highest-grad-rate

So only 1 in 10 don't graduate on time and that list doesn't detail if the students actually dropped out of the university, e.g. Zuckerberg. So it is extremely abnormal for a healthy student to take five years to finish a bachelor's at a top college.

You can compare the 4year rate to the 5-6 year rate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should see if he can catch up at all with summer classes. Perhaps he can get enough credits to at least walk in the spring.

?? It seems from OP that this is Senior year and no time to catch up before graduation.

[Anonymous]

I'd be MUCH more concerned that my large adult son felt like he could incur an extra $80K in costs and mention it to me casually.

That's not a kid who is prepared for the world.

[Anonymous]

In response to the PP's who mentioned good standing and how easy online school was for many kids....

It seems to me that schools would be more understanding and more flexible with policies because of COVID. Everyone faces different personal challenges and the impact of COVID on each individual was/is unique, whether that be mental health, personal ability to adjust to remote vs online, resources for that same adjustment, need to have social interaction, stress felt in such uncertain times etc. etc.

(That said, checking the school policies and how they are being implemented with respect to COVID is probably a good idea.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be MUCH more concerned that my large adult son felt like he could incur an extra $80K in costs and mention it to me casually.

That's not a kid who is prepared for the world.

It wouldn't be $80,000/year if he was home for 18 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should see if he can catch up at all with summer classes. Perhaps he can get enough credits to at least walk in the spring.

?? It seems from OP that this is Senior year and no time to catch up before graduation.

Agree with PP. In the fall of my junior year, I decided, I want this to be my last year, but I wasn't on track. I had to take two classes the summer after that school year. But, I walked in the Spring. Then took those two classes in the Summer. However-- it was easy because I had finished requirements and could take whatever I wanted so they were "fun classes".

OP you can see if this would be possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be MUCH more concerned that my large adult son felt like he could incur an extra $80K in costs and mention it to me casually.

That's not a kid who is prepared for the world.

A kid that realized their parents had invested $250K already and did not want to fail out. Very mature move.

[Anonymous]

Why would he say anything to his friends? Why would it matter to them? I took 5 years to graduate, w/o any COVID but only because I wanted to do a study abroad for a semester and some classes were not available, hence 5 years. I didn't feel the need to explain it to anyone. Until now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I vividly recall when Lena Dunham was retelling her sexual assault story from college, she made sure to note the boy was a super sketchy fifth year senior who didn't graduate on time.

LOL. Lena Dunham. The woman who wrote about molesting her younger sister and then changed her story when people didn't think it was edgy and cool? Ok.

Also, aren't you the same poster who lurks in every red shirting thread and pops out with the comment about how 21 year old senior boys should not date freshman girls?

[Anonymous]

Like everything on this forum, this thread quickly evolved into a circle jerk of parents with underachiever kids rationalizing this, while Type A parents know not graduating college on time is inexcusable and mortifying. Smile and nod. Smile and nod.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I vividly recall when Lena Dunham was retelling her sexual assault story from college, she made sure to note the boy was a super sketchy fifth year senior who didn't graduate on time.

LOL. Lena Dunham. The woman who wrote about molesting her younger sister and then changed her story when people didn't think it was edgy and cool? Ok.

Also, aren't you the same poster who lurks in every red shirting thread and pops out with the comment about how 21 year old senior boys should not date freshman girls?

No, I am not. But being 23 y/o hanging with undergraduates is sketch. Not graduating on time is sketch. Being stuck in a college town while everyone your age is off to DC, California or NYC working is sketch.