Ivy League son just disclosed he's taking five years to graduate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the five-year plan was normal nowadays, especially for engineering.

I was in a sorority at a state school in the 90s and none of my sisters took more than 4 years, even the dullest frat boys graduated on time. Sticking around the college town for another 12 months when everyone moved on would have been really, really awkward and frankly, depressing.

You were in an engineering sorority?

Or were you mostly education majors.?

Some of my sisters were engineering majors, most were marketing, English, communications, political science and pre-med. More of the fraternities were engineering majors, but even among them, it would have been abnormal to not graduate with your class. I know some of the engineers stuck around an extra year to early their master's — but they didn't delay graduation, they walked with their class and partied with everyone graduating.

That’s highly unusual you should get out side of your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:~15% of students take 5-6 years.

I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Not at Ivies, not at any top private university.

That is actually numbers quoted for Ivy’s. Look it up.

Far higher than what I've seen. Unless you had medical leave or left to go launch a start-up tech company, it's not normal to not graduate on time.

[Anonymous]

The old creep still lurking around undergrads is not an great rep to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:~15% of students take 5-6 years.

I don’t think it’s a big deal.

Not at Ivies, not at any top private university.

That is actually numbers quoted for Ivy’s. Look it up.

Far higher than what I've seen. Unless you had medical leave or left to go launch a start-up tech company, it's not normal to not graduate on time.

No it isn’t. 15% graduate in 5-6 years. Sorry you had another thought in your head but you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4 year graduation rates

https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/highest-grad-rate

So only 1 in 10 don't graduate on time and that list doesn't detail if the students actually dropped out of the university, e.g. Zuckerberg. So it is extremely abnormal for a healthy student to take five years to finish a bachelor's at a top college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather not specify the college. Son is a class of 2022 but just disclosed he hated remote coursework and dropped quite a few courses over the last year, which will push him into the class of 2023. We understand, to an extent, but we're honestly worried about him socially. He has not told his friends because he's not really sure how or why he has to. But isn't it going to be extremely awkward when literally all of his classmates are graduating and he's not? His college and the Ivy League in general appear to have a near perfect graduation rate.

It's interesting to me that you are concerned about him "socially", but not concerned that he just told you about this. A 5th year is a major financial commitment. We are able to afford to full-pay for college, but my kids know I'm only paying for 4 years. They can take additional time, and they can pay for it (take out loans/get a job/whatever they need to do). Your son sounds pretty immature to me. Social awkwardness seems like the least of the problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the five-year plan was normal nowadays, especially for engineering.

I was in a sorority at a state school in the 90s and none of my sisters took more than 4 years, even the dullest frat boys graduated on time. Sticking around the college town for another 12 months when everyone moved on would have been really, really awkward and frankly, depressing.

Well, perhaps you aren't up on the most current academic trends... Even when I went to college in the aughts, it wasn't that unusual for people to tack on an extra couple of semesters for various reasons.

[Anonymous]

I vividly recall when Lena Dunham was retelling her sexual assault story from college, she made sure to note the boy was a super sketchy fifth year senior who didn't graduate on time.

[Anonymous]

No worries. My nephew did the same pre-covid to play his sport after an injury. It made no difference to him socially or otherwise. Make a huge difference to my brother and SIL who had to fork out another 70k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather not specify the college. Son is a class of 2022 but just disclosed he hated remote coursework and dropped quite a few courses over the last year, which will push him into the class of 2023. We understand, to an extent, but we're honestly worried about him socially. He has not told his friends because he's not really sure how or why he has to. But isn't it going to be extremely awkward when literally all of his classmates are graduating and he's not? His college and the Ivy League in general appear to have a near perfect graduation rate.

It's interesting to me that you are concerned about him "socially", but not concerned that he just told you about this. A 5th year is a major financial commitment. We are able to afford to full-pay for college, but my kids know I'm only paying for 4 years. They can take additional time, and they can pay for it (take out loans/get a job/whatever they need to do). Your son sounds pretty immature to me. Social awkwardness seems like the least of the problems.

Better now than OP booking hotels and dinner reservations, and the entire family flying into PHL in May, only for the kid to ghost them.

[Anonymous]

I went to Harvard for undergrad and I knew a few people who took more than 4 years to graduate. People I knew took time off to: write a book, accompany a professor on an archeological dig, travel (this was the most popular reason), take part in some kind of personal project, or recover from mono. Nobody judged these people and I am sure your son's friends will express initial interest in what is going on with him, but it will be no big deal.

Oh, and I didn't know Natalie Portman personally, but some of her time at Harvard coincided with mine. She might be one of the most famous Harvard student who "took time off."

[Anonymous]

If he is healthy and sound, be grateful and file this under COVID cost. Remembering that other families paid a much higher cost.

[Anonymous]

OP -- It will be fine for him socially as long as he doesn't already have particular difficulties making friends. If he has "real friends," he should just tell them the truth when discussions turn to summer plans, graduation, etc. and not hold it back so it doesn't hang over him like some cloud. Nothing to be ashamed of. Some people did well with it, some struggled - including students in ivy league schools. Remember, even those mid-high 90s% graduation rates for top schools pre-pandemic were based on a 6 year period - not 4 years.

FWIW, my son took last year off entirely for the same reason re remote learning (so no extra tuition, fortunately), and will graduate this year. He had his fill with it the second half of Spring 2020 when the campus shut down and did not want to do that his senior year. Yes, many of his closest friends graduated, but he's involved in multiple activities on campus and so had friends in other classes and will make new friends this year. Hopefully, your son can follow a similar path. Your son's situation is not the same, but more similar than different.

If your son only needs 4 classes he can also potentially finish up in the summer session next year, so not much different (except losing a summer of fun) or maybe in only semester next year instead of two to reduce the cost. Even ivies allow kids to earn some credits at other schools, so if cost is a problem he can maybe take some summer courses at U of Md and then perhaps only do one more semester.

Also, I know at least one ivy league school allows students to "walk" through graduation in those situations with either the class they should have graduated with or the class they actually will graduate with (obviously, if a student has not finished course work they don't get the diploma). He should also look into that --I suspect it is done at some other schools since they often have similar policies. He may or may not choose to walk with his class if permitted.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Since you don't seem to be concerned about the costs (which is where I expected this thread to go...), can't he just finish by August or December by taking the courses? That's not a big deal.

I think the only social component is not being able to attend graduation with friends next Spring. He'll have to manage that on his own.

If you are worried about that portion, I think the best route for you is to be understanding. So many people had a hard time with the pandemic and working remotely. Validate that for him and ask if there was anything in particular that was an issue and if there was anything in addition that is an issue that could affect him this year or in his life moving forward.

Once you get those nailed down, support him in who he is and tell him there's no one path and he should own the path he's on and not worry about what others think. This will allow him to be honest with friends and hopefully still take part in the celebrations next Spring along with them as support and celebrations of their time together the last 4 years.

[Anonymous]

He should see if he can catch up at all with summer classes. Perhaps he can get enough credits to at least walk in the spring.