Ivy League son just disclosed he's taking five years to graduate.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather not specify the college. Son is a class of 2022 but just disclosed he hated remote coursework and dropped quite a few courses over the last year, which will push him into the class of 2023. We understand, to an extent, but we're honestly worried about him socially. He has not told his friends because he's not really sure how or why he has to. But isn't it going to be extremely awkward when literally all of his classmates are graduating and he's not? His college and the Ivy League in general appear to have a near perfect graduation rate.

[Anonymous]

Why is this something you need to manage? He will figure out what to tell them at the appropriate time.

[Anonymous]

I'd be furious at the extra year of tuition, room & board.

[Anonymous]

I would focus more on support to get him on track to take and complete the work needed to graduate and why he did not disclose it at the time. Social awkwardness is the least of it.

[Anonymous]

It is a pandemic. Some kids took gap years last year. The road in life is not straight and having hard conversations is a life skill he will need for the rest of his life.

I take it cost is not an issue for your family?

[Anonymous]

I thought the five-year plan was normal nowadays, especially for engineering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd rather not specify the college. Son is a class of 2022 but just disclosed he hated remote coursework and dropped quite a few courses over the last year, which will push him into the class of 2023. We understand, to an extent, but we're honestly worried about him socially. He has not told his friends because he's not really sure how or why he has to. But isn't it going to be extremely awkward when literally all of his classmates are graduating and he's not? His college and the Ivy League in general appear to have a near perfect graduation rate.

I didn't graduate on time from my HYPS school, and I didn't even have a pandemic as an excuse. (I did have a different extremely traumatic thing that led me to drop classes, but almost no one knew that.)

He might feel a little disappointed, but no one is going to care.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal in terms of peers or future prospects. I'm sure he doesn't only have friends from his incoming class-and having fewer people around may help him buckle down and focus on coursework. I would only be upset about the additional costs.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. I thought you were going to say you could not afford the extra year!

I am sure not that common at an Ivy but very common to have to stay an extra semester or another whole year. Students change majors, can’t get in to a pre- req, took too many and dropped hardest. So many reasons. I bet some of his friends wish they could stay an extra year.

All he has to do is be honest….” I need 3-12 more credits to graduate….I hated eng 450 and lit 321 in the online format and dropped not realizing at the time I’d be short. It sucks or actually kinda looking forward to it as never did/ saw/went to that thing of pandemic, using time to apply to grad school or internship on campus.

Those friends are still his friends and almost everyone comes back that first year for homecoming, a footballgame, spring fling, whatever.

He needs to own it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Why are you fixated on what his friends will think? Support your child so he doesn’t drop out completely…the end goal is to get back on track and graduate. And you’re “near perfect graduation rate” doesn’t hold water. Schools look at 6 year rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the five-year plan was normal nowadays, especially for engineering.

He is not an engineering or computer science student. I genuinely don't think it's common at all. It's giving me anxiety for him.

[Anonymous]

OP are you more worried about this than he is? Were you worried about your son socially before this? Does he have good friendships? Many people take a year out from college and/or go abroad for a year - they keep their old friends and they make new ones upon their return. What are you afraid of, and is it anything in your control?

[Anonymous]

It's college, not 7th grade. People move through college at different paces, depending on their program (not to mention double majors/concentration), finances, internships. He's right, he doesn't need to make a formal announcement to his social circle.

I agree with a PP, my concern if any would be extending expenses for another year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not at all. I thought you were going to say you could not afford the extra year!

+1 OP is this your real worry?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought the five-year plan was normal nowadays, especially for engineering.

Is he engineering?